Feb
05
2014

Sleeping In Seattle

 

Hello from Seattle, where it is currently really, really, really cold. No, I mean really cold. Like, think of the coldest thing you can think of right now—a milkshake with ice cubes in it, the Arctic tundra, Paris Hilton's heart—and multiply that by a hundred and four, and that is how cold it is here. I just walked seven blocks back from my office and by the time I pushed open the doors of the hotel lobby, I couldn't feel most of my extremities, and I was wearing gloves, a hat, and a coat that kept me pretty toasty in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In November. I mean, come on. 

On the upside, here is the view from my office, which could not possibly be more beautifully Seattle-ish.

Okay, wait, maybe it could be a tiny bit more beautifully Seattle-ish, but only if it had Frasier Crane somewhere in the left hand of the frame. Holding a cup of coffee. Next to McDreamy. 

(Is McDreamy still a thing? Do people still watch Grey's Anatomy? I remember the last time I visited Seattle, I was obsessed with the show and kept thinking I saw Meredith everywhere, but I must confess that I stopped watching several years ago and now I have no idea what the residents of Seattle Grace are up to anymore. Although presumably the same five people are still getting together and breaking up in various combinations.)

As well as not realizing that it was going to be this cold in Seattle—I mean, it's not like I have a weather app on my phone or anything; it's not like I could have looked it up (I could have looked it up)—I also did not realize that I was going to be arriving in the city on the day of a major parade. Why was there a major parade in Seattle today? Well, if you just asked yourself that question, you're in good company, because I did not know either. This is because the parade was to celebrate the winning of the Superbowl, but because the Superbowl is a sporting event and my brain shuts off at the phrase "sporting event" somewhere around "spor—", I kind of didn't really pay it any attention until the hotel check-in person said "wow, lot of people out there for the parade, huh?" and I said "oh, there's a parade today? For what?" and then I was actually asked to leave the United States of America immediately for unpatriotic conduct and also my husband texted me and asked for a divorce. 

(Whatever. Talk to me when there's a parade for the Oscars. Oh wait, there is! It's Live From the Red Carpet on E! and I have the time and date of it written down in my planner. Look, I'm sorry, we all have our passions. Yours might be football but mine is marveling at what a good job that boob tape is doing at holding everything in.) 

I am going to finish this now because I have one-quarter of The Goldfinch left to read—I have been dragging it out for an entire month because I never want to not be reading it—and also a pack of Skittles to get through. In bed. In this quiet room. Bolstered by the magnificent knowledge that when I turn off the light and drift into sleep tonight, no-one is going to wake me up three hours later and demand to eat. Small pleasures, friends. You can't even imagine. 

Recent Posts

Jan
13
2014

And In The End We All Survived

First of all, thank you so, so, so much for all your kind and compassionate and encouraging comments about my return to work. I read them over and over, and they helped me so much to feel better about it all. I worked from home last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday—the equivalent of inching body-part-by-body-part into the swimming pool, as opposed to just cannonballing in from the diving board; highly recommended if you can swing it—and then today I actually went back to the office for real.

Continue Reading

Jan
06
2014

These Days Are Numbered

I go back to work on Wednesday. Even writing that sentence, my heart simultaneously plummeted and soared, like when you get on an elevator that you think is going down but then the doors close and it starts going up. 

Continue Reading

Dec
31
2013

A Lot Of Words About 2013

Oh hey, remember me? Here I am on the very last day of 2013, squeezing in one last blog post so I can say that I updated eight times since mid-July instead of seven. I mean, I don't know who I think I'd be saying this to—the imaginary blogging police, I can only assume, who presumably monitor this kind of thing?but anyway, there you go.

Continue Reading

Nov
17
2013

I Wrote This Entire Thing Without Taking A Breath Can You Tell

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your wise and helpful comments on my last post. You know, sometimes I feel like I just can't be bothered with blogging anymore—all the sponsored this, Pinterest-fodder that—and I think "eh, I'll just show myself out quietly, there's nothing in this for me anymore," and then you, all you wonderful people, weigh in on a subject with your thoughts and your advice and your experiences and I realize that what I've always valued most of all about writing online

Continue Reading

Nov
11
2013

Party At My Crib

Look, let me just tell you once and for all that when it comes to babies and sleep, things are every bit as terrible as you would imagine. As in, once you have one, you probably won't be getting very much of it at all. 

Continue Reading

Nov
04
2013

There Is No Narrative Construct To This Blog Post But I Hit Publish So I'm Calling It A Victory

Hello! I just got back from a week in a cabin in Northern Michigan—actually, I kept calling it a cabin but it was really just a condo decorated very rusticly and located in a woodsy setting—with a small portion of my family. My parents got lots of grandkid time, my kid got lots of grandparent time, and I got lots of "sleeping til 10am because someone else is looking after the baby" time, so basically it was a win-win for all. 

Continue Reading

Oct
03
2013

You Are Doing Just Fine

One of the things that has surprised me so much about having a baby—and there is so much that does surprise you; leaves you reeling, in fact—is that almost everyone I've spoken to in the last eleven weeks since Hugo was born has asked me how I'm doing. How I'm doing. Once we've ascertained that the baby is thriving and well and sleeping just enough that Sean and I aren't contemplating driving him back to the hospital and asking about their return policy, their attention is turned to me.

Continue Reading

Aug
26
2013

Parents Of Twins, I Salute You

So having a baby is a little time-consuming, turns out. I know! Who'd have guessed! Despite the fact that Hugo has proven, so far, to have inherited his father's mellow, easygoing temperament—as opposed to his mother's, ahem, less mellow, less easygoing one—the basic job of keeping a tiny human being fed, happy, and not rolling around in his own poop all day has been surprisingly all-encompassing.

Continue Reading

Random Flashbacks

Oct
03
2010

It Ain't Pretty But It's Getting There

Have you been wondering how I've been coping without a kitchen sink? Probably not, but I'm going to tell you anyway. I've also been coping without kitchen counters, a real kitchen floor, and---for the last four days---an oven, which is currently sitting three inches away from me in the living room while we lay the tile. On the upside, the refrigerator is there too, and it's been super handy being able to reach it from the couch. Want a cold beer, darling? Let me just lean over to the left a little and open the fridge.

Continue Reading

Dec
28
2010

Christmas Aftermath

Did you have a lovely Christmas, if Christmas is one of the things you celebrate? I certainly did, right up until about an hour ago when I found out my 9:25pm flight from San Diego to San Francisco was delayed until 10:50pm. Of course I found this out right after I'd waved goodbye to my dad at the airport and checked my baggage, thus leaving me no choice but to take a seat at Gate 10 next to the man to my left---who not only smells suspiciously of feet but also has the charming habit of humming tunelessly---and entertain myself for close to two hours.

Continue Reading

Mar
13
2007

Take Me, I'm Yours

In the hallway of my apartment building, where roughly thirty or forty people live, there is a large marble table.

(I do not mean, incidentally, that thirty or forty people live in the hallway of my apartment building, rather in the building itself, though I assume you're smart enough to figure that out for yourselves, and also, come on, think about it, how would thirty or forty people live in a hallway? I mean, that would be kind of awkward when someone needed to get undressed. Even for San Francisco.)

Continue Reading

May
26
2006

Didn't We Have A Time? We Had A Time!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Oh Internet, you may think you've had fun before, but have you ever been to an amusement park in the middle of a rainy afternoon wearing an assortment of wacky hats? Do the math! If hats are funny on their own, and amusement parks are exciting by themselves, combining the two can surely only lead to the most fun ever experienced by anyone ever, right?

Continue Reading

Apr
30
2009

The Nine Best Pieces Of Advice Anybody Ever Gave Me

1. Nobody ever regretted going to the gym. (My friend Ellen)

2. You can fool people into thinking you've been cleaning the house all day if you just spray some Pledge in the air before they get home. Also, have some onions sauteing in butter on the stove so it seems like you're cooking. (My mother)

3. Ask yourself this. Does this thing need to be said? Does this thing need to be said now? Does this thing need to be said now by you? (My friend Melissa)

Continue Reading

Nov
19
2007

The Day I Officially Became A Midwesterner

Along with the Henry Ford museum and the Heidelberg project, one of the things I really wanted to do in Detroit was try a real jello salad. You know the kind: "salad" is a total misnomer since they're 98 percent gelatin, and they make frequent appearances at family reunions, where nobody but the kids really eats them. If you're lucky, they're topped with whipped cream from the can.

Continue Reading

Jul
30
2009

On Buying The Last Issue Of Martha Stewart Weddings I'll Ever Be Able To Buy, At Least Without Buying It "For A Friend"

I was in Hawaii most of last week for work---yeah, yeah, I know, you don't have to say it---and the result has been that I seem to have lost touch with reality a little since getting back. When I woke up this morning, for instance, I realized it was already the second day of August---August!---and do you know what comes after August? A TIME WHEN I NEED TO HAVE MADE AN AWFUL LOT OF PLACE CARDS AND MENUS AND PROGRAMS, THAT'S WHAT.

Hey, I'm getting married next month!

Continue Reading

Recent Comments

ambien
Apr 27, 2015
tramadol
Apr 27, 2015
pldaujxx
Apr 25, 2015
gckqbad
Apr 25, 2015
zdkuimn
Apr 25, 2015
xpfhyghq
Apr 25, 2015
togiyqxf
Apr 25, 2015
buy tramadol
Apr 17, 2015
ambien
Apr 16, 2015
cheap ativan
Apr 16, 2015
cheap viagra
Apr 11, 2015
viagra
Apr 10, 2015
socbky
Apr 09, 2015