The 40-Year-Old Intern

So Sean is enjoying his unemployment! This is mainly because he is not OFFICIALLY unemployed yet, and until April 21, he still receives a paycheck every two weeks---a paycheck he earns by watching CNN all day, feeding the cats upon occasion, and experimenting with the correct ratio of hair wax to hair (result: a pea-sized blob works best, unless one wants to achieve the look known in most circles as Kramer Hair, which one normally doesn't, except maybe on Halloween or if one is attending a Seinfeld party and doesn't look enough like George or Jerry.)

Because he will be thrust into the real (paycheck-less) world come April 22---on which day we are having a HUGE party in our backyard, complete with a bonfire and Important Nuclear Document Burning and a keg and maybe even a Porncake, and to which you are totally invited if you can find a cheap deal to Charleston (I suggest Hotwire)---he has been doing a little freelance work, designing websites and such, and taking pictures. But do you know what one also needs if one is to move seamlessly from one career to a totally different career, and have something impressive on the resume to prove it? One needs an internship! And even if one is 29 years old and has been getting paid for doing what the interns do for free for several years now, it turns out one still has to Officially Suck It Up and find oneself an internship anyway.

So obviously it's rather helpful to share toothpaste and a television and a naughty French cat with someone who works at a magazine with room for interns in the art department. It also helps if one has attended the most recent office Christmas party of said magazine, where one managed to sit next to the assistant graphic designer at the bar and mention one's impending unemployment. Over shots. Many shots.

So yes, now we are co-workers! And even though we work in separate departments, it's great to have Sean in the office for three days a week. For a start, it means that we both always have someone to warn the other if a fellow employee seems to have had an Unfortunate Pooping Emergency in one of the TWO bathrooms, so that there is no danger of unwittingly walking in to the stench and then walking out afterwards to find someone else waiting, someone who now assumes that YOU are the one who has had the Accidental Work Poop.

And it's not THAT bizarre that he's a 29-year-old intern; there are two others in his department and they're both in their mid-to-late twenties. I've had to warn him, of course, to make sure his underwear isn't showing (or to at least wear the Banana Republic ones) when he shoots pictures in the outdoor studio, which is RIGHT outside the window of my office---we once had an art intern whose entire BUTT CRACK would be on display when he knelt on the ground to take pictures, and if you don't believe me, I have the camera phone shots to prove it---but apart from that, it's been a fairly smooth transition. This will be temporary; a three-month gig until June rolls around and Exciting New Things will be happening. For now though, being part-time co-workers with my boyfriend is fabulous: we get to spend time together, ride in to work together, and eat lunch together. Plus, sometimes we totally make out in the parking lot if nothing else is going on. I never got to do that before he started working with me. He hopes.

Mar 24, 2006

Oh how scandalous to make out in the parking lot! Perhaps there is boiler room? And don't pretend you don't get the my so called life reference.

Mar 24, 2006


big time.

Mar 24, 2006

sigh -I wish I had someone to make out with at lunch. apart from my 11 month old son, who I already kiss far too much....

Ali G
Mar 25, 2006

how fun! do you get to boss him around?

like say, "Intern! Meet me in the parking lot. IMMEDIATELY. We've got a lot of work to do..."

Mar 25, 2006

Love it. Love it! I want a workboyfriendwhowasaboyfriendfirstsoit'snotdoomedtobeshortlived!

Mar 25, 2006

Wow, check THAT formatting.

Mar 25, 2006

Is Sean like Chandler when he started as intern on that one episode of Friends, and he wore a suit because he was like 35?! You all know what I'm talking about. Oh well, I guess it's better than a 30 year old man at Starbucks...or babysitting.

Mar 25, 2006

Tramp! You totally made out with me in the parking lot, like, FOUR TIMES!

Mar 25, 2006

I am so jealous. I want to make out in the parking lot with someone. Dang it.

Mar 25, 2006

I'm going to need to see those camera-phone photos.

Mar 25, 2006

Just been ogling your porncake....holy cow! Martha should be running out of gas trying to get to a seminar by YOU.

While I was there (ogling), got lost in the archives about Thanksgiving. Hence I discover that Sean puts toothpaste on your toothbrush for you every night! He is SO fabulous.

(You deserve it darling of course.)

Sadly I can't make the Bonfire Party...but another time maybe?

Mar 25, 2006

Ahhhh... I remember making out with my husband in the parking lot the spring before we got married. Granted, he wasn't a coworker, but... believe me when I say its a Good Thing! Yeah for cute new interns! is your work dating policy? Are you allowed to take long lunches? Hee! Hoping to hear some great stories about bossing your new intern around soon! Wishing I could make it down there to raise a glass with y'all!

Mar 25, 2006

I think it's so awesome that he's had this plan he's putting into action to follow his dream! (Now I'm going to see about that cheap flight.)

Mar 25, 2006

Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Interns don't get paid?

This is messing with all of my future plans not to mention my entire belief system. How do interns eat? How do they shop at H&M? How do they get their nails done?

This may turn out to be a problem. Thanks for the early warning...

Mar 27, 2006

The UPE and AWP - how timely, as I just walked in to one of THOSE situations earlier this morning. The person didn't even have the good sense to hide out in her stall until I'd left the facility. She emerged and grinned as if she were PROUD of herself.

Congrats to Sean. I'd intern myself (and I'm older than 29, but it doesn't really matter how MUCH older, now does it?) if I had an opportunity to pursue my dreams (if I knew what they were).