At Least The Camel Didn't Start Singing That Awful Black-Eyed Peas Song About The Humps, The Humps, The Lovely Lady Lumps

Last night I stayed up late, drinking red wine in Lovely Neighbor Stacy's kitchen with Lovely Neighbor Stacy and Thespian Libby, who is only five years younger than my mother, but can drink me under the table. This morning I came into work at 9:47am and didn't apologize to anyone. I just said "hangover," by way of explanation and then ate four pieces of bread in quick succession.

And then I remembered a story Thespian Libby had told last night which was SCREAMINGLY funny at the time, and it involved another hangover, one Thespian Libby had woke up with last Sunday morning. She'd stumbled out of bed and into the bright sunshine, in search of a cup of coffee and a paper, walked down to the park right by our house, and came face to face with a CAMEL.

(Slight aside: Sean and I came face to face with this camel on Sunday morning too. He was part of some kind of petting zoo that had randomly popped up in the park with no warning---there was also a llama, if I remember correctly, and a very shaggy cow with a special name. And some monkeys. It was a little bizarre, I'll admit, because the petting zoos of my youth contained bunnies and goats, not monkeys and camels, but hey, I guess times have changed and petting zoos are trendier now; apparently, the kids these days think farm animals are passé. Anyway, the point is that Sean and I were PREPARED for this camel, inasmuch as we weren't hungover, we'd had 12 cups of coffee already, and we'd seen the jump castle and the 85 kids running around screaming in the park before we'd seen the camel, so we figured SOMETHING must be going on.)

Thespian Libby, however, was not prepared for the camel. Children were riding on him. He had very beautiful eyelashes, she says, and she and the camel stared at each other for a few long seconds while Thespian Libby debated---in her confused, hungover, not-quite-awake-yet mind---whether or not she was hallucinating, whether or not to take a camel ride, whether or not she was four decades too old to take a camel ride, and what the fuck a camel was doing in the park on a Sunday morning anyway.

And then a man---who we will assume was the man in charge of the camel rides, but really, who even knows?---sidled up to her while she was staring at the camel. "I will give you information LATER," he whispered. Thespian Libby stood there for a little while, trying to work out if this was code for something, and if she was in a Robert Ludlum novel, and if another man in dark glasses and a trenchcoat was going to appear two minutes later, hand her a briefcase, and whisper, "the red bird flies at midnight!" And then she just walked away. Because really, stumbling upon a camel in the park and then being promised information LATER (information on what?) is really too much to take on a hungover Sunday morning, don't you think?

Mar 16, 2006

If I came face to face with a camel while I was hungover, I would definitely assume that it was a hallucination and that someone must have slipped a little something into whatever I was drinking. I would assume the 'information' man was trying to convert me to his camel-centered religion, and I would run as fast as one can run with a hangover.

Mar 16, 2006

Many, many people in my office enjoy a Camel or two with their morning coffee. But those are the kind you can light on fire.


Mar 16, 2006

This is so funny to me, except that I sprayed coffee all over my Apple G5. If I woke up hungover (which I have absolutely never done except for a thousand or so ocassions which were TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT) and was confronted by both a camel AND a mysterious man promising information, I would turn around, grab my passport from home, and leave the country immediately.

This is one reason why I don't drink anymore. If confronted with a camel, I will know immediately that it's either my meds or some twisted petting zoo nightmare.

Mar 16, 2006

heh heh heh... speaking of camels... my good friend D went to the pushkar camel festival in india last year and was awoken (is that the right word?) by a runaway camel coming into her tent. :)

Mar 16, 2006

...omigod! so freakin' funny! gotta tell ya that i read this post immediately following The One About The Ear and The One About The Naked Girl in Your Apartment and well, i'll be laughing the rest of the afternoon. . .

Mar 16, 2006

you slay me. a camel... hee!

Mar 16, 2006

Ya - it would definitely have been over the top if the man started singing "My Humps". What sort of plays is Thespian Libby in? She sounds like a potential goldmine of great stories! I'm SO glad that your sister got her perfect dress, by the way. Yeah!

Mar 16, 2006

Yes, I do think. Just about anything is too much to handle with a Sunday hangover - and do you think the man with the information recognized her hungover-state and decided to play tricks on her?

Because now that I think about it, the taunting kind of sounds like fun.

Mar 16, 2006

This is an example of things I've always assumed ONLY HAPPEN TO ME. Thespian Libby sounds like my kind of girl.

Vaguely Urban
Mar 16, 2006

Camel eyelashes are totally underutilized in their potential capacity as flattering similes. "She's got a neck like a swan," we'll say. Or, "He's strong as an ox." But not so much with the "eyelashes like a camel."

If someone told me I had eyelashes like a camel, I'd be stoked.

Mar 17, 2006

this reminds me of a story my sister told me. she was riding the bus to work in denver, and as she was fully engrossed in her book she had not noticed that the bus had stopped moving. after a few moments she looked up and saw a giraffe outside the bus window. she looked at her fellow passengers hoping to ascertain whether they too had seen the giraffe and she was in fact still sane. turns out the circus was in town and the animals were being paraded about. the giraffe was completely real and not some sort of hallucination, but a shock nonetheless.

Mar 17, 2006

Funny story. But now I have that horrible My Humps song stuck in my head. How that ever made it to radio will always remain a mystery to me. I have to go find music now. :)

Thespian LLibby
Mar 17, 2006

So many items to address, it's difficult to know where to begin. First, I refuse to believe that your Mother is five years older than I; I've met both of your parents and am certain that she is the younger of the two of us. Second, when your drinking career has extended as many years as mine has you will find that your stamina increases considerably. Also keep in mind that my liver looks like a Pawley's Island Hammock. Third, to Jes - the very idea of taunting an old hungover person is atrocious. There is a very special place in hell for all who engage in such an evil pastime. Fourth, you beat me to work by about thirty minutes, and whereas you were truthful, I lied quite shamelessly. Fifth, I think I'll start spelling my name with two "L"s.

And I CANNOT get the damned Humps song off of my brain.

Mar 17, 2006

I was trying my hardest not to smile until the bit about the random camel owner! Funny stuff, Holly!

I will give you information later....

Mar 18, 2006

This is going to make me happy for the rest of the night. Nothing (do you hear that, ER?), but nothing, can erase the happiness of pondering a hungover thespian confronted with a camel and a man promising information later.

I rode a camel for two days once, on a trek in Rajasthan. It took about two weeks before I stopped smelling like my ride.

Mar 18, 2006

Sounds like some kind of bizarre dream I'd have after eating something spicy the night before. Or, you know...dropping acid.

Mar 21, 2006

That is a hilarious story -- I would have presumed I was still asleep. Poor girl, the world should be kinder when you're hungover.

Thespian LLibby
Mar 21, 2006

Thank you Bridget. I'm so glad someone understands......

Thespian LLibby
Mar 23, 2006

But apparently I'm still so hungover that I misspelt your name and it was right in front of me. Sorry.