He Pretty Much Always Has An Open Door For Call Girls

Well, that was fun! I now have a mental image of everyone's hair, a long list for the library, and a note to myself never to say PUS or MOIST or CHUNKY again. That was my favorite part, by the way, the words people hated; Pretty Coworker Elle and I used to have a running list of The Worst Words In The World, which we kept on the back of the door in our office, and added to every day. We had WOMB and WOUND and BRUISE and WAD and PANTIES and TURGID and LUBE, and it was awesome until someone stole it! Now, why would someone steal a list of a hundred horrible words? What are you going to do with something like that? Expand your vocabulary? Gross out your friends? Torture someone to death by whispering "Kumquat! Goiter! Phlegm! Groin!" until they choke on their own vomit?

Anyway, how was your weekend? I went to an oyster roast on Saturday, which was one of eight million parties to celebrate the impending nuptials of Jemima---who, by the way, is not really called Jemima, in case you were wondering---and it was lovely and charming, in a very Southern way. By which I mean that pretty much everyone had the same name, and those names were all the names of streets in Charleston, and also there was a lot of drinking going on. At noon. Hello, mother! I had a beer and a hot dog for breakfast!

The most exciting thing that happened this weekend, though, was that Sean and I signed up for Netflix, which, man, was kind of a big commitment, but since there is probably a warrant for my arrest at Blockbuster---thanks to the late fee I never paid in 2003---was probably a good idea. We'd been meaning to do it forever, actually, but it was only a glass of champagne and a chance encounter with last Sunday night's episode of Grey's Anatomy that convinced us to do it. Suddenly, we were all, "why haven't we been watching this before? This has Sandra Oh! We must find out if there is a season one DVD! Oh! (Sandra Oh!) There is a DVD! Quick, check Blockbus---oh, wait, never mind, let's sign up for Netflix!" When we were filling in all our information on the computer, there was a section that said, "Was there a special reason or event that prompted you to join today?" We weren't quite sure what that meant, so Sean put "drinking champagne."

But this show! Is it just the best, or what? We gorged ourselves on five back-to-back episodes Saturday night (I know, we just EXUDE the rock n'roll lifestyle, don't we? We also made black bean quesadillas---party on!) and then popped our Netflix DVD back in the mailbox and did a voodoo prayer to ensure that the second disc, which has the rest of season one on it, would arrive by Wednesday. I know Ellen Pompeo is far too thin and whiny and translucent, and sort of reminiscent of Ally McBeal, but still! I can't stop watching! The only REAL flaw in this show, as far as I can see, is that no-one says "will you accept this rose?" at the end or gets given a card to the FENTESSSY suite. Which, you know, is kind of a downer. But there are open heart surgeries instead.

Speaking of roses, I hope you've prepped your recipe for Bachelor-tinis---I think they should be one part vodka, one part grenadine, and two parts raging humiliation---since tonight is, after all, The Most Exciting Rose Ceremony Yet, otherwise known as The Bachelor Finale. I'm sort of embarassed to admit that I actually CANCELED MY BOOK CLUB tonight---actually, I'm sort of embarassed to admit that I belong to a book club, but it's more of a wine club than anything else; I mean, it's not like we think we're OPRAH or anything---when I discovered it would clash.

Well, that's only partly true.The main reason I canceled is because my kitten Sadie is going in for THE PROCEDURE tomorrow morning (goodbye, ovaries!) and I have an inexplicable need to spend time cuddling her tonight before she BECOMES A WOMAN (or, I guess, less of one.) I've rescheduled book club for next Monday, which gives me time to figure out how to make some German food that isn't sauerkraut; we're reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, you see, and I thought I'd do a German menu, because I do like to get into the THEMES of a book when I host. (For The Curious Incident of The Dog In The Night-Time, I served only red food---strawberries! bruschetta! Twizzlers! red pepper dip! Pinot Noir!---because Christopher, the narrator, only liked food of a certain color, and red was his favorite. I was going to get those plates with dividers too, since Christopher also didn't like his food to touch, but I was already drawing a few stares at the grocery store, what with my cart full of red food, so I didn't.)

So anyway, bring on tonight! Bring on the tears and the bitchery and the backstabbing and the pointiness and the pointlessness! If anyone would like to call me in the commercials so we can discuss the trainwreck that will be Sarah from Tennessee when she gets dumped, please feel free to do so. But only after 9, because I don't have any Anytime minutes left until the beginning of March. Netflix, however, I do have! Don't ever tell me I don't know how to prioritize.

Feb 27, 2006

If Sarah will just stop and think, she'll be okay. I mean, would you want to be Sarah Stork? And make baby Storks?? Ewww.

Feb 27, 2006

Grey's Anatomy is like TV crack! Once you start watching, you won't be able to stop, no matter how much you want to tie Ellen Pompeo down and feed her a damn sandwich. Sandra Oh makes it all worthwhile and makes me forget all the Meredith hate.

Feb 27, 2006

We're having champagne tonight to be both ironic and literal as we watch the madness unfold. Maybe I'll buy roses, too. I can't figure out if they're making the whole Sarah-is-not-as-much-of-a-vixen-and-their-chemistry-is-limited thing a bit of a red herring so we'll think Moana will win when really, he's going to choose Sarah, or if we're reading too much into it and he really does want Moana best of all.

And I'm embarassed I've given it so much thought. But I do that with everything, especially Romantic Ceremonies Performed On National Networks.

I would like to say, however, that if I could, I'd send Ali G in for the Sadie Treatment so she could get a few moments of not-thinking-about-fertilization rest.

Well, okay, not really. But perhaps I'd threaten her with it.

Feb 27, 2006

just wanted to say I love your site!

Feb 27, 2006

i absolutely adore my netflix!!

here is a nice german recipe from my childhood for your book club... :)


Feb 27, 2006

This doesn't have much to do with your post (although I have not been able to get the word 'goiter' out of my head all day) but I wanted you to know I kind of thought the bachelor was hot before you posted the greazy picture last week. That is all.

Feb 27, 2006

Have loved reading your Secret Tuesday recaps of The Bachleor. As a closet GA fan too, would love to see you replace Pointy's pursuits with suffering surgeons.

Feb 27, 2006

oh, yeah!!! hlc has the right idea! i vote for secret GA mondays! ;)

Feb 27, 2006

Ok are we trapped in some kind of parallel universe?

Last night I stumbled across "Grey's Anatomy" for the first time. Saw Sandra Oh was in it and thought "Wow, Sandra Oh is in this...it must be good" and was firmly suckered into the show within 5 minutes.

Hadn't thought of the DVD-fest though....great idea.

Feb 27, 2006

I hate to break this to you....but I really think Moana's going to be the one to get the boot. Because they pushed Moana in our faces so much in the last episode...trying to trick us into thinking he is going to go for it. But really now...what we've seen of Travis... has anyone else picked up that he's just kind of a dork? (said in a nice way of course) And he will go the sensible route and pick Sarah..because that is exactly what they are trying to make us think he won't do. And they have this thing where they want us to be surprised. Ahhh those editors ;) Now I could be totally wrong...maybe they think that's what we will think is going to happen..therefore tricking us again...and He'll pick Moana. Anyways...we shall see... 2 hours of suspense!! or something resembling it. By the way I did the same thing with Greys Anatomy at the beginning of the year..and they just leave you hanging every week. It's so good!

Feb 28, 2006

Grey's Anatomy is snuggle time with me and my guy every Sunday night. We watch Desperate Housewives and Grey's in bed. It is a really nice way to wind down the weekend and get ready for Monday. The show this past Sunday made me really start to dislike Meredith. I didn't before. Now...she is really getting on my nerves. I love George and he loved her and she broke his heart into a million little pieces.
I vote for GA Mondays too!

Feb 28, 2006

Delurking to say the exact same thing happened to me! Before actually watching Grey's Anatomy, I had completely dismissed it as another maudling medical show. I somehow ended up watching it one Sunday night and immediately wanted to know why I hadn't been watching it all along and where could I get more. Who knew Patrick Dempsey still had it?

Feb 28, 2006

I have no idea about any of the shows you are watching, but if you need authentic German recipes, do I have the source for you! My dear husband and resident gourment cook is a German national and makes some to die for dishes. Shoot me a pm when the time draws closer.

Feb 28, 2006

And I promise that I really do know how to spell GOURMET. Except, possibly, when I have had two glasses of wine. Eek!

Feb 28, 2006

Ok, now y'all are making me think I'm missing something really good by not watching Grey's Anatomy. Just what I need; another show to Tivo. I can only watch them after the kids are asleep, so now I'll be up all night. The thud you'll hear the next day will be my head hitting the desk as I fall asleep at work.

Feb 28, 2006

Hee, and hee, and hee. I am also a Blockbuster fugitive and can map it for you like Clue: Mrs. CRUMPACKER, with SHAKESPEARE'S ROMEO & JULIET, from THE BLOCKBUSTER AT IRVINE AVENUE & 17TH. Oh, er, shit. I doubt they'll prosecute.

We did Netflix and quit Netflix, because we have three small kids and can hardly have sex let alone watch movies we like. Of course there are no late fees, but eventually I pointed out that we were paying $19.99 a month to not watch the movies, whereas prior to that we had been not watching them for free. Impeccable logic, Mr. Spock.

At the moment we are into DVR and On Demand -- d'y'all have that? (I love that word d'y'all.) For some reason we are watching the Three Stooges, absolutely relentlessly, all the best ones (with Curly from 1941 and 1942, his artistic peak). Want to know how to get the boys to like you? Learn to do that little tickly thing, and love you some Stooges. And my boy sure does love me for that.

Feb 28, 2006

Isn't Grey's the BEST SHOW EVER? I have been watching it ever since I saw a commercial for this show with PATRICK DEMPSEY and SANDRA OH-OH-OH MY GOD WHEN DOES THIS SHOW START? WHAT? TWO MONTHS FROM NOW? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? OH MY GOD.

Yes. I had my copy of the first season DVD pre-ordered. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

But yay! for one more person to talk about GA with! W00T!

And tonight whilst watching TBIP with my BFF (I'm trying hard for the overuse of initials) I differentiated betwixt the Sarahs by referring to one as Puff Daddy Sarah.

So, thanks for that.

Also...Turgid and Goiter are good ones, as well. Mucus. Headcheese. The head of the band at my old church once tormented me all through practice by chanting "pus, pus, pus, pus, pus." Sadly he was 50+ and a missionary to Great Britain.


Pus, pus, pus, pus, pus.

Nothing But Bonfires
Feb 28, 2006

Damn, Eireann, I wish I'd chosen "betwixt" as my favorite word.

Feb 28, 2006

I was going to tell you to read "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto" but I MIGHT CHOOSE IT FOR BOOK CLUB, YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT YOU CANCELED FOR THE FREAKIN BACHELOR!!!

I'm sick and grumpy. Bring me popsicles. While you were watching Grey's Anatomy, did you hear them say, "Paging Dr. Boner" in the background? I'll bet you missed it because you were ogling Dr. McDreamy, didn't you?

Nothing But Bonfires
Feb 28, 2006

Jemima, if you choose that book, you'll have to serve cocoa puffs. And Vicodin and Percocet in little finger bowls.

I didn't cancel book club for His Pointiness! I canceled it for Sadie's ovaries.

Feb 28, 2006

I have NEVER watched Grey's anatomy. Nor, will I ever.

From what little I have seen, it's just a bunch of doctors boinking each other, no?

Student Nurse, prn
Feb 28, 2006

How sad is this? It's 1039pm in Cally, I need a shower, and the Bachelor is still on so before I decide if I watch all of it and THEN shower I am checking here to see if you blogged about the winner so I can get in the shower now. hahahahaha

Feb 28, 2006

So this woman I work with said "Tonight is the finale for the Bachelor" and I started laughing hysterically and told her she has to read you and I will send her the link soon and she now thinks I'm a total freak (okay, she already did but that's not the point) and I told her how I couldn't wait for the show just so I could read the recap.

I am constantly bugging my roommate for information about Grey's Anatomy because I only get to see bits and pieces of it while I'm at karaoke (and watching it from across the room without any sound on makes it a little difficult). How is it possible to be obsessed with a show you never get to watch? So you should so do recaps of GA for me so Kim doesn't kill me when I say "But what happened then? Why don't you have the entire show memorized, damn it?" It would be a public service.

Feb 28, 2006

You should fer sure read Tweleve Bar Blues by Patrick Neate. It's the best book I have read this year, and I know it's only nearly March but I read a lot.

Feb 28, 2006

Help! I missed the Bachelor (again) and am fully relying on your recap for all my information. I refuse to even TRY to find out who won, but if they put it on Yahoo news then I'm DONE.

So glad you are loving Grey's Anatomy. They have a blog! Don't forget! The writers are so charming about writing, as they say, a blog! I have to write my blog, they say. But you know, it's okay that they're not up on the lingo, they have a very important job driving the rest of us crazy with their story lines.

And I so want to be in YOUR book club.

Feb 28, 2006

What a great blog! I followed a link from Nancy a couple of months ago but you must have been having an off day (or I - probably I) because I wasn't hooked. But I am now and am blogrolling you this instant.

Also, you've convinced me to start watching Grey's Anatomy. I've been hovering around it like a gray cat waiting to pounce - and I'm going to pounce now. However I will not watch the train wreck that is Bachelor ever again - I can't stand the humiliation. Other people's humiliation, obviously.

Feb 28, 2006

I just feel as though it's important you should know this. I have been checking back here OBSESSIVELY all morning for your Bachelor recap. Must know your thoughts! Must laugh about Travis's not quite so passionate declaration of love to Sarah! Must cruelly giggle over Moana's meltdown and continued use of really big words that I'm not so sure she always completely understands!

Feb 28, 2006

I love your blog!! Your recaps of the bachelor are perfect!!

And Grey's Anatomy....seriously!!.....seriously!!!!
You just found this show.
Its the best show on TV right now. I sit through Desperate Housewives just so that I can watch GA.
I would love for you to do recaps of this show. Your sense of humor could only add to my enjoyment of it.

Feb 28, 2006

I love Grey's Anatomy!

But I hate Meredith...hate, hate, hate, hate her. She's always making this stupid sad face that makes me want to pummel her into the ground. A gust of wind needs to come along and blow her away like it did to what's her name in Las Vegas.

Feb 28, 2006

Hilarious post. It almost made me want to watch the bachelor again, but I missed most of this season. I too recently got netflix, mainly b/c my boyfriend kept saying it would be a good idea for us (ok, he got it, but I gave the ok). At first I was a bit hesitant, thinking that I would feel all this pressure to keep watching movies and T.V. Shows. I know, crazy. Instead what happened is that he had picked out 8 movies and then gave me the password to our site. Within an hour I had put approximately 75 movies into our queue. We watched the first four, Junebug (ok), March of the Penguins (sad), Murderball (great), and the Mexican (not Brad Pitt's finest) in the last two weekends. Anyway, it's awesome an I am now a huge netflix fan. Congrats on joining the club.

Nothing But Bonfires
Feb 28, 2006

Buttercup, Junebug is currently number three on our Netflix queue! Though sounds like I need to demote it to, say, ninth.

Student Nurse, prn
Mar 01, 2006

How interesting that most of the LEAST FAVORITE words are medical in nature? There goes the image of the sexy nurse, I mean how I a person be sexy saying all those odd sounding words. "Hi handsome, how is the pus in your wound today?" ...gross eh?

Grey's Anatomy vs working in a hospital. There is a hierarchy in hospitals, RARELY do the Doc's hang out and chat with nursing staff. And YES, surgeons do have attitude problems. What they do with each other is not something that is advertised publically, unless they get a reputation of either unsuccessful results or bad technique.

I do know that in most hospitals its seems that your business is everyone else's, despite the fact that a person can hardly finish a conversation without being interupted by something, even a fairly large hospital has an active gossip mill.

But all that said, I love the show.

Mar 01, 2006

I hate to be the one to break your Netlfix bubble. I really, really do. Because I remember the happy, shiny, pink new-Netflix-user bubble . . . unlimited movies! delivered right to my house! no late fees! selecting movies in my pajamas while eating Baci chocolates!

I just cancelled my Netflix membership. Suddenly, shipping times changed from 1 day to 3 or more (for a distribution center only 45 miles away) & new releases were always a "very long wait", even when I had an empty space available on the release date. Turns out, Netflix penalizes "heavy renters". Read the article here: http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/02/10/netflix.renters.ap/index.html So disappointing! I hope you have a better experience!

Ali G
Mar 02, 2006

i probably hit the heavy renter's penalty... b/c even though i am in the throes (thros? throws?) of a newfound addiction to grey's anatomy, I CAN'T GET THE DAMN DISCS! netflix is failing me, and it is quite heartbreaking. but nowhere near heartbreaking enough to go back to cockbuster.

but for greys, i am turning to my other pusher, amazon - his prices are high, but he delivers the premium shit just when i need it... no games, no questions asked.