Dunder Mifflin, Eat Your Heart Out

Don't you wish you worked in the office in The Office? Preferably the NBC one rather than the BBC one, mainly because Jim is quite a bit hotter than Tim, but still, either would do. My office is not like The Office, but sometimes it's still quite amusing. Sometimes there are scenes like this:

Friday afternoon, the office. We are pretty much all just sitting around. Also in the room: an exercise ball, which we brought into the office a few weeks ago, in a desperate bid to do crunches on it at lunchtime but which, so far, we have only used to reenact the scene in The Office (the NBC one) where Dwight falls off his exercise ball. Many times. Right now, we're having an impromptu mid-afternoon Pilates class---complete with Hersheys Kisses that we've taken from someone else's candy jar---and we're taking turns balancing on the ball, none of us actually having ever been to a Pilates class, though most of us guessing that it probably involves balancing and stretching of some kind. Pretty Coworker Elle (who asked that I add the "pretty" if I was going to write about her on the Internet, although, hello, OBVIOUSLY I would have put it anyway) is lying across the ball in an approximation of a backbend; surprisingly, her suit jacket and heels are not impeding her. As she is trying to stretch just a little more dangerously---danger being her middle name, of course---her glasses fall off her nose; they don't quite come off, but they're not exactly ON either. It could be said that they are askew.

Self: Oh my god! HAHAHAHA! Pretty Coworker Elle, your glasses are askew! Look everyone!
Everyone looking up, disinterestedly: Hmm, yeah, kind of funny, mildly amused, haha---
Self: HAHAHA! OH MY GOD! IT'S SO FUNNY! IT IS SO INCREDIBLY FUNNY WHEN GLASSES BECOME ASKEW!
Coworker Andrew: When Glasses Become Askew! What is that, a new TV show? When Animals Attack! When Girls Go Wild! When Glasses Become Askew!

There are also scenes like this:

Also Friday afternoon, the office, are you seeing a pattern here?
Coworker Andrew, buzzing Coworker Brian who works upstairs on geeky web things but is not, refreshingly, a geek, in fact he is in a band: Hey, Coworker Brian, Code Blue!
Self: Why did he just say "Code Blue?"
Pretty Coworker Elle: Coworker Andrew, why did you just say "Code Blue?"
Coworker Andrew: It's what we say when we want the other person to take a smoke break with us.

(Side note: why do smokers always need to smoke together? Is this like when you eat half the cheesecake standing in front of the refrigerator and then you try and force the other person who's just come in and caught you to eat the other half of the cheesecake, or at least, come on, just have a slice so that the guilt is somehow magically divided between the two of you and you don't feel quite so awful about the havoc you're wreaking on your hips, or in this case, your lungs?)

Self: Wait, you say "Code Blue!" when you want to smoke with each other? That's sort of .... gaybo. (Note! Debuting new word picked up from JenB! Am trusting usage is correct and in context. Canadians, please alert if not.)
Pretty Coworker Elle: Yeah, why do you say "Code Blue?" Shouldn't it be, like, "Code Black?" For the color your lungs are probably turning?
Self: Or maybe Code Yellow Teeth?
Pretty Coworker Elle: Code Ashtray Breath?
Self: Code Fine Lines Around the Mouth!
Pretty Coworker Elle: Code Low Sperm Count! (Note! It may actually have been me who said this, but I am not admitting that I ever said the word "sperm" because, ew, gross, please, I don't care if it's in a medical sense.)
Coworker Andrew, again buzzing Coworker Brian: Dude, can you please just come down and smoke with me? Now.

1
Meg
Jan 27, 2006

Holly, do we work in the same office?

We are currently smoking candy cigarettes and sending around emails of funny pictures. All while getting things done, of course, since our deadlines aren't the bittiest bit flexible, but still... candy smokes (NOT BAD FOR THE LUNGS) and funny pictures.

I love Friday afts.

2
Nancy
Jan 27, 2006

I am soooo jealous of your office. I actually work in "The Office" in a frighteningly similar parallel to the TV show. BTW, I work in an office with "professionals" --- people who have had 7+ years of higher ed, not the factory you would expect when I tell you this. The other day my boss asked our receptionist to keep track of how many times a coworker came into my office and how long she stayed. NO I AM NOT KIDDING. I want to work at your office! I have a vague recollection of fun.

3
lindsay
Jan 27, 2006

gaybo was used in the correct canadian context, eh.

4
Lori
Jan 28, 2006

I do believe the term is queerbo. At least in central Illinois. Um, when I was in fourth grade ...

5
Gretchen
Jan 28, 2006

Absolutely gaybo, with bells on. It's like that line in "Clueless": THAT BOY IS A DISCO DANCING, OSCAR WILDE READING, STREISAND TICKET HOLDING FRIEND OF DOROTHY.

My husband has a routine he uses if, for example, he and another guy at his office both happen to show up at work dressed in black pants and a blue shirt. He will look at the guy and say "Oh, look! TWINSIES!" Except I always say "TWINKIES!" instead, because it sounds so much gayer that way. Darling Ben never fails to embrace his inner Paul Lynde.

6
jenB
Jan 28, 2006

i have also heard "queerdo". i am not sure gaybo is canadian, i think i picked it up in the blog world a few years back. i love it though. kudos for using it in a blog post! you win candy! and an oatmeal chocolate cake! and my undying love if either of us ever go lesbionic!

xo

7
DM
Jan 28, 2006

When I officially smoked (meaning that I smoke now but only when I am at karaoke) and was headed outside, it was always nice to have someone to talk with about the weird things that were going on in the office or at home. Plus, it is always good to have another person with you if, say, vampires attack (wearing lots of sunscreen obviously) or there are crazy psychotic people wandering the streets, you have backup.

I think Code Blue is pretty clever - for the blue smoke. At least I'm assuming that's why they came up with it.

8
Irony Queen
Jan 28, 2006

Oh, how I long for those days! My office currently consists of me and The Other Guy. This set-up definitely limits the amount of group merriment taking place. And my exercise ball, purchased last summer? Hasn't even been used to re-enact that scene from The Office. It just sits there, looking lonely. And brand new.

9
roo
Jan 29, 2006

Why do smokers smoke together? No one wants to die alone.

Plus, it's a great chance to gossip.

10
Jess
Jan 30, 2006

I'm with Nancy. Your office does indeed sound fun! I'm the youngest person in my office, which means there are many jokes about age-related health problems. At least we're all of the same political persuasion, so that provides for some additional humor / griping opportunities.

Great blog!

11
Sheila
Jan 30, 2006

Nuh-uh!! Tim is SO way hotter than Jim!

Perhaps it's the American/Brit thing. To each of us, the other is more exotic (could it be the accent?) and appealing. Either way, if you've got a Tim or a Jim at work for a bit of innocent flirtation, consider yourself lucky. My office mates were always Dwights and Gareths.

12
Daydreams and Musings
Jan 30, 2006

As usual, I laughed so hard I cried. Once I get the giggles, I can't stop - even if what I'm laughing at isn't all that funny. My office is sorta fun but not NEARLY as much fun as yours. Maybe if I bring my exercise ball . . . at least someone could get use out of it.

13
Gallaudet
Jan 30, 2006

Our office swings wildly between goofy/relaxed and Code Blue tense. As in literal Code Blue. It gets more than a little schizophrenic, and now that I think about it, given the patient population in the ER, we could take that literally, too.

Then again, we do have all the morphine...

14
LOD
Jan 31, 2006

Code Constricted Pulmonary Capillaries Resulting in Belabored Wheezing!

Sounded funnier in my head.