While The Cat's Away

Well,  I'm all ready for my trip to the Bahamas on Tuesday. I've bought three different kinds of sunscreen, a package of Dramamine---or Wal-Dram II, as the Walgreens store brand is ominously named (can't you just imagine a pompous stockbroker named Wally Dram the Second? With slicked back hair and a popped collar?)---and the newest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings for the plane. My window for being allowed to buy bridal magazines, you see, is rapidly dwindling, and I figure I may as well take advantage of it while I still can. After all, there can't be many things lamer than an already-married woman continuing to plunk down money every couple of months to look at the butler card options in Modern Bride, am I right? Well, either way, I don't want to find out.

This Bahamas trip is a work one---I know, I know, I hate me too---but I'm hugely excited about it anyway, not least because......well, it's the Bahamas, you know? You'd have to be missing some very important part of your soul, I think, not to be excited about a trip to the Bahamas, even if you're technically on the clock while you're there (or, actually, because you're technically on the clock while you're there.) Besides, I received my itinerary earlier this week and discovered that I'm scheduled to spend Friday in its entirety at the Four Seasons Exuma, with the only mandatory activity for the whole day being "spa treatments."  Oh go on, then, Four Seasons, twist my arm. I suppose I could have a facial and a massage. If you insist.

Cool work trips like this are always a little bittersweet for me, because I can't bring Sean along with me, although I console myself by thinking that at least the time apart is healthy. Except it's not very healthy, actually, considering the man seems to live primarily off the take-out menu of the Mexican place up the street when I'm not around. Just the other day, in fact, he turned to me in the Trader Joe's parking lot and said "When do you leave again?"

"Tuesday afternoon," I said. "And I'm back the following Sunday."

"Oh good," he said. "I can't wait to start my 5-Day Burrito Cleanse. Meaning I'm going to eat burritos for five days straight while you're gone."

1
Caroline
May 10, 2009

That will certainly clean his colon right out. Probably better that you'll be thousands of miles away.

2
Katelin
May 10, 2009

Hate you just a little bit, if only because I have 4 assignments due in the next week and a half. Would enjoy a facial or a massage (or a even a facial massage..I'm not picky).

3
Sarah
May 11, 2009

Ok, so you can't take Sean with you, but you are taking me with you, aren't you?

4
aveleigh
May 11, 2009

That's exactly what happens when I leave town. My boyfriend survives on ramen noodles and banana milk. Sigh.

Have a good trip!

5
beyond
May 11, 2009

i'm not even quite sure i know what my husband eats when i'm not there. we've never discussed it. maybe it's better that way.
have an excellent time!

6
beth
May 11, 2009

The exumas have some of the most beautiful beaches in the whole archipelago! Make sure you feed the iguanas!
:)

7
Camels & Chocolate
May 11, 2009

I think our dive trip in September now might be to the Exumas...fingers crossed! Have a fabulous time with my pal, Jenny. Sorry I won't be there to accompany you, dive buddy =(

8
katie
May 11, 2009

how did you get such a magical job?? i have to confess that i am seriously jealous...and also wondering if you're hiring an assistant or anything? intern? coffee maker? haha :)

maybe i should do a burrito cleanse to console myself...

9
Diane
May 11, 2009

I travel a lot for my job and every time I leave, much meat is barbecued and pizza ordered and all is shared with our dog. Also, shared is our bed, so when I come home, I am often almost pushed out by a brown dog who now feels that my side of the bed is his and that I am the interloper.

I have been to the Four Seasons in Exuma and it is FAB! Enjoy!!

10
geeky
May 11, 2009

Ha! My husband is the same way, only with him it's burgers.

11
Kait
May 11, 2009

You know how they always try to tell you that motherhood is the most rewarding job in the world?

They lie. I want your job.

12
Anne & May
May 11, 2009

Hahaha! The five-day burrito cleanse sounds a lot like my Beer For Dinner Diet.

13
KT
May 11, 2009

Because of my frequent business trips my husband is largely responsible for keeping the neighborhood pizza place in business. All I ask is that the evidence is gone by the time I get home!

14
Laura
May 11, 2009

Ha! Caroline's comment up above made me laugh so hard I snorted at my desk. Thank you for THAT.

15
slynnro
May 11, 2009

My jealousy is tempered by the fact that I will be staying at that very hotel in September. I NEED THE 411!

16
Kristabella
May 11, 2009

So jealous! I've never been to the Bahamas!

The guys at the burrito place by my house know my name. It's like Norm from Cheers when I walk in.

17
Ryan
May 11, 2009

Is one of those 3 types of sun screen chapstick? you don't want sunburned lips!

18
abbersnail
May 11, 2009

The Horse Whisperer asked me to make him a lasagna to eat while I'm out of town this weekend. Alas, I'm not going anywhere nearly as exciting as the Bahamas!

19
NothingButBonfires
May 11, 2009

Ryan, good call. You obviously remember what happened LAST TIME. http://nothingbutbonfires.com/node/465

20
Caroline
May 11, 2009

I just bought my husband's ticket for Costa Rica next month, the bastard. It is a trip I will not be going on [sob] and I am trying to resist the urge to stick a fork in his ear as he contemplates encounters with monkeys and exotic birds. But his own eight-day burrito/ceviche cleanse seems inevitable, as do the jokes about Jaco-flavored kisses in a really bad J-Lo inspired accent.

Bon voyage, Holly! And bon appetit, Sean!

21
metalia
May 11, 2009

Okay, I'm sorry, but WALLY DRAM THE II (and attendant description) is easily, EASILY the funniest thing I've read in a looooong time. HAAAA.

Have a great trip! xoxo

22
Jennifer
May 13, 2009

Holly, I just saw your Flickr photo with A.C. Slater and I burst out laughing because #1, YES, the resemblance to Slater is quite uncanny (although his hair needs to be more gelled up) and #2, I used to stay at the Sofitel Miami all the time when I flew to Miami for business meetings and I HATE THAT HOTEL WITH A BURNING PASSION.

sigh. just had to get that off my chest.

Have a wonderful trip to the Bahamas! If you get a chance, try a restaurant called the Poop Deck. I promise the food is better than the name. :)