My One Request Will Be That He Uses The Word "Asunder" In Our Ceremony

We're off to San Diego this weekend, for a carousel of wedding-related errands that has me dizzy just thinking about it. Am I talking too much about my wedding, by the way? Because my brother Tom Facebook-chatted me last night---yes, "Facebook chat" has now entered my lexicon as a verb---and said, of my most recent post concerning Charlie's mysterious disappearing diabetes, "thank god that wasn't another post about your effing wedding." Except he didn't exactly say "effing," my brother, as I'm sure you can probably imagine.  And hey, while we're on the subject of my brother, did you know that his teeth often turn orange when he drinks Fanta? It's very attractive, ladies, I assure you.

(HA! That's for complaining about my effing wedding, Tom. TAKE THAT.)

So this weekend, Sean and I are going to a catering tasting straight from the airport---chicken and steak at 10am! It's the breakfast of champions!---and then in the afternoon, we're driving to a Starbucks at the halfway point between San Diego and Los Angeles, where our (potential, fingers-crossed) photographers are also driving their half to meet us, which is very sporting of them, if I do say so myself. They are seriously super awesome, our (potential, fingers-crossed) photographers: hilarious in their emails and wonderful in their photos. I am hoping fervently that we hit it off and become BFFs and hire them instantly on the spot.

In between the tasting and the meeting with the photographers halfway between Los Angeles and San Diego, we are also having our first of four mandatory sessions of pre-marital counseling with our.......vicar. (Vicar? Is that the right word? What do I call him? Priest? Pastor? Father? Man who is marrying us? I guess I should probably get that straight.)

I am simultaneously nervous and excited about this pre-marital counseling, I have to tell you. Sean and I each had to fill out a 175-question QUIZ before our first session, you see, and being the nerd that I am---I love filling out forms in doctors' offices, for instance! I should start a whole business where I just fill out other people's forms for them---I took great pleasure in filling out this quiz. It asked some rather personal information, if I do say so myself---hey, quiz, at least buy me dinner first---but a lot of the questions it posed also raised some very good points: have we, for instance, talked about how we might discipline our children? Hmm, I don't believe we have. Have we talked about what would possibly end our marriage? Aside from HIM LEAVING HIS DIRTY SOCKS UNDER THE COFFEE TABLE ONE MORE BLOODY TIME, you mean? Nope, don't think we've done that either.

Apparently, however, all will be revealed this weekend, so let's just hope that the vicar priest nice man who's marrying us doesn't tell us that the whole thing is a bad idea and we should call it off immediately. Because I've already paid for my dress, you know. And if that happens, someone's going to have to throw a really bitchin' party I can wear it to instead. And nobody had better spill salsa on me there, alright? I swear, I will totally stick you with the dry-cleaning bill.

1
Camels & Chocolate
Mar 27, 2009

Wait...you're getting married???

;-)

2
Momcat
Mar 27, 2009

Form filler-in : I'd hire you in an instant!

3
Joy
Mar 27, 2009

My parents are counselors and have a knack for relationship and marriage prep courses of any kind.
Whenever they hear someone is getting married they immediately ask if the couple has taken the Prepare-Enrich test yet. The ensuing conversation can be hilariously blunt, especially if it is with a person they have just met.

Needless to say, your determination and Quiz-taking skills would make them very proud!

4
Kelly
Mar 27, 2009

OMG! I also LOVE filling out forms. It's an obsession. I will fill them out, simply, because they're there.

5
Heather B.
Mar 27, 2009

And here I am being all, "Must. Hear. More. About. Wedding"

6
DiaryofWhy
Mar 27, 2009

Asunder just isn't a word that comes up much in conversation, is it? It's one of those words that really only works in that one context, so you might as well take advantage while you have the chance.

Although I think I'm going to try to start using it in everyday conversation. Like, "look at me, I'm a mess. I'm all asunder!"

7
zan
Mar 27, 2009

Don't you love it when your brother offers blog criticism? My brother recently told me over IM that my blog needed "a kick in the face. in a good way." (Though in my case he was right...)

And I think you can call the guy marrying you your "officiant." Not Sean. The other one.

8
beyond
Mar 27, 2009

asunder is a great word! janis ian has a lovely song -lover's lullaby- that goes: lay down and slumber, mama's boy is torn asunder, all the fields have gone grey, all the leaves have gone brown...

9
Sheila
Mar 27, 2009

My husband and I volunteer to do marriage prep for couples (usually young, usually adorably besotted) getting married at our church. We are instructed to tell them that the questionnaire is NOT a test, it is an INVENTORY. It simply measures responses at a point in time and determines a couples' Readiness for Marriage. It is a tool for helping Facilitate Communication when Key Problem Indicators show a lack of agreement...

...snore...

Anyway, even if you bomb the quiz there is still hope for you. Just show the Marrying Guy your blog.

10
FunnyGal KAT
Mar 27, 2009

The Pretend Husband threw the test. He purposely put "not sure" on a couple of questions to force the priest to bring them up with us. Issues like whether we were in agreement about having children, so it looked like we had the least-communicative relationship in the world (we had of course agreed we're having children, but he "flagged" that question because he said I wanted them sooner than he did...) I could have killed him for that and throwing me under the bus a couple of times in front of the priest. But it turned into a great marriage anyway.

11
Diane
Mar 27, 2009

When my beloved and I got married - my only stipulation on the vows was to included the word 'asunder'. I LOVE that word!

Also - I eloped - bring on the wedding talk!

12
Mal
Mar 27, 2009

Ha! I thought you were referring to your brother as Tom Facebook.
I really really enjoy all the wedding talk. But that could possibly be because I'm getting married 2 weeks before you.
Our marriage classes include a crash course in "natural family planning"....

13
Operation Pink Herring
Mar 27, 2009

Oh, Brother Tom. SHHHH. The rest of the internet loves the wedding posts. (And personally, I wouldn't complain about a few more cat posts as well, but I have a feeling that's just me.)

I think that "priest" is a term reserved for the Catholic Church, but I could be wrong about that. I've been calling our non-denominational professional wedding officiant dude "the minister", which seems to get the point across.

14
shayna
Mar 27, 2009

I seriously thought I was the ONLY PERSON in the world who liked filling out forms at the doctor's office. I often volunteer to fill out the forms of anyone I'm with - family members, friends, what have you. I mocked my boyfriend the first time we filled out apartment applications because he didn't have any of his information ready and I kept saying, "How could this be? You knew you were coming! You knew you were going to be filling out FORMS!!" He won't do his own anymore. I have to fill everything out for him.

which I grumble about but yay!!!!!!!! forms. :)

15
jana
Mar 27, 2009

I like to use "asunder" in threats. Such as, "I'll tear you asunder mother-effer." (but substituting the real word for effer, of course--much more effective that way)

16
Anne & May
Mar 27, 2009

It is still one of the proudest moments of my life when I found out that we blew the doors off this quiz.

But really, that's just rewarding me for being an over-sharer. I like to talk about every possible future scenario and Plans B-H if said scenario doesn't work out.

17
Alyce
Mar 27, 2009

I love the wedding talk.

I think in my other life I was meant to be a party/wedding planner, so I shall live vicariously through you. Hope you don't mind.

Those (potential, fingers-crossed) photographers take lovely photos. Their style really seems to suit you and Sean.

18
Melanie
Mar 27, 2009

Is it wrong that I want to know Anne & May's score on the test?

Our minister (Presbyterian church calls them that) told us he'd never seen a couple as compatible as us. :) Of course, that just means we AGREE on what causes fights, what might break us up, etc. It shows we communicate but still have issues.

I loved taking this, love all kinds of fill-in-the-circle tests. I take way too many quizzes on Facebook, lol.

19
soul-fusion
Mar 27, 2009

My best friend in high school LOVED filling out forms and hated my handwriting (for good reason) so she filled out all my forms for both my junior and senior years. Before our junior year there was some sort of emergency contact form that asked about conditions the school should be aware of and she mischieviously wrote "senioritis" - as in I was itching to get out of high school. No one ever inquired about my condition.

And asunder is an excellent word!

20
edj
Mar 27, 2009

Make sure Sean endows you with all his worldly goods too! I made sure we had that line. I wanted the cameras and the old vinyl Dylan records.

There's a lovely line in the medieval C of E vows..."With my body I thee worship." Comes right before the endowing with worldly goods. If you're going to get asunder in there, why not go all the way?

21
Chiada
Mar 27, 2009

Oh my gosh! I clicked on the link to the photographers. Then I went to their featured wedding. And as I was clicking through the pics (which are gorgeous, by the way), I saw the name of the restaurant where they had their reception: Robins! And I thought, could it be Robin's in Cambria? Where they have some of the best food ever? And sure enough, it is! What a coincidence. If you and Sean ever take a drive down the coast to Cambria, you must eat there. Get the salmon bisque and the lamb phyllo rolls, at least! You won't be disappointed.

22
Sensibly Sassy
Mar 27, 2009

Possible Marriage ender: WOODEN SPOONS

23
slynnro
Mar 29, 2009

We were married by a judge, so no counseling. I'm kind of sad about that because I bet it would have been entertaining.

24
barbie2be
Mar 30, 2009

i love the word asunder too! the one word i demanded be removed was "obey".

when we went to one of our counseling sessions the pastor asked him why we wanted to get married and he went into this long answer about how it was fiscally better for us than to just live together and blah, blah, blah. the pastor kind of just looked at him with a surprised look on his face. then he (the pastor) turned and asked me why we wanted to get married, i said "because we love each other and it's the right thing to do". the pastor smiled and then turned to him and said, "that's the answer i was looking for". maybe that's why he is my EX now.

25
Kristin
Mar 31, 2009

Ha! I'll join you in your business filling out other peoples forms. If I can have my own supply of Pilot V Razor Point pens. We also did that questionairre before meeting with the clergyman that was marrying us, and the biggest worry I had going into it was that we were living together already. I had nightmares for weeks that he was going to say "nope, sorry, can't marry you" and you lose your deposit!

26
KarinGal
Mar 31, 2009

Halfway between LA and SD? That sounds like San Clemente -- my home town! Could it be? What a great place to choose for a creative rendezvous...the Spanish Village by the Sea. Lemme know if you'd like some killer Mexican restaurant suggestions.