Still No Wedding Date, But I Did Approach A Man In The Parking Lot Of In-N-Out Burger And Ask To Rent His 1950s Turquoise Car

First things first, did you watch the Inauguration? (Wow, inauguration is one of those words that's hard to spell on the first try. Too many unexpected "u"s or something.) My boss was kind enough to let us work from home in the morning so that we could have it on in the background, and let me tell you, I am so glad I watched it in the privacy of my own home rather than in a conference room at work because I am NOT a pretty Public Crier and....yeah, there was maybe a little crying going on.

It started when I heard that there was going to be a 21-gun salute---just the promise of a 21-gun salute set me off!---and it continued....well, on and off all day, really, whenever I thought about Obama singing the national anthem (gets me every time) or his sweet (nervous?) stumbling over the oath. This sudden gush of emotion was slightly startling to me, as you can imagine, because apart from anything else, I AM NOT EVEN AN AMERICAN. I am merely an interloper from another land! Aren't I supposed to be cool and impartial and in full control of my stiff upper lip? Well, I assure you, Internet, I was not. I wept like a baby, and trust me, if that baby on my recent flight to San Diego was any indication, BABIES WEEP A LOT.

(At least I had the foresight to wear waterproof mascara, however. I feel I should get some points for that one. Do babies remember to wear waterproof mascara? They do not. )

In other news, yes, we went to San Diego this weekend---Virgin America lived up to its stellar reputation, although that touch screen thing could use some rethinking, as I was repeatedly poked in the back by the guy in the seat behind me, DESIGN FLAW ALERT---and the exciting news is that we have a reception location. A reception location! Hurrah!

And we almost have a church, at least I hope we do, although I'm not sure how my guests are going to feel about this church since I'm going to have to PACK THEM IN LIKE SARDINES to fit them in there. It's the most adorably darling chapel you've ever seen in your life---built in 1895, situated a block from the beach, lovely simple interior---but boy howdy, is it small. It's so small, in fact, that two people can hardly walk up (or down) the very narrow aisle at the same time for fear of bumping hips and getting wedged in there together---stop! stop the organ! the bride is trapped in the aisle!---and when you factor in a large white dress as, it just seems safer to walk up it one at a time.

But oh, it's lovely, and I'm dying to get married there and see my guests mingling outside in the rose garden and encourage them to traipse down to the beach with a glass of lemonade in their hand while we have our pictures taken and.....yes, I have thought about it a lot and I probably shouldn't think about it anymore in case it falls through, but for now, let me just leave you with a question: how do you feel about Friday weddings?

Yeah, yeah, I know, I sort of blasted Friday weddings once, back when I was young and naive and stupid and not yet aware of the INSANE LOGISTICS of trying to get everything to come together when planning a wedding, and yes, I would sort of like to find that Younger Me now and slap her across the face a little. Because "who gets married on a Friday?" Um, you, probably. THAT'S WHO. AIN'T KARMA A BITCH.

A Friday wedding would sort of suit us, you see, since a very large number of our guests are going to be coming from England and making a vacation of it anyway, and so a Friday afternoon wedding might as well be a Tuesday morning wedding for all they care, so transfixed will they be with reading trashy novels on the Baywatch-like beaches and remembering to reapply the sunscreen. But it's the more local guests I worry about, those coming from San Francisco and other parts of the U.S.---we've got Seattle, Dallas, Charleston, Connecticut, Boston, and Minneapolis represented so far---and I guess my main worry is that they won't want (or be able) to take an extra day off work, and since we're asking them to come so far anyway, I really don't want to make it any harder for them than it has to be. Then again, if they're coming all the way to San Diego anyway, wouldn't they want to come for more than just a weekend?

(A Friday means I might be able to get my dream photographer, by the way, in case you're wondering. His stuff is so beautiful that when I saw it, I GASPED. And then I emailed him immediately, not even knowing where he was based, all PLEASE SHOOT MY WEDDING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, and then when he emailed me back and said sure, I gasped again, and then I found out that he was everyone's dream photographer, which meant he was booked pretty solidly for all of my proposed dates, and then I died and now I'm dead, the end.)

So Friday afternoon weddings: can you swing one or will people hate you for it? Because the last thing I need is people hating me before I've even forgotten to write them a thank you note for the lovely toaster they sent.

Jan 20, 2009

I couldn't care less if a wedding is on Friday, although when I was getting married, of course, I insisted that it be on a Saturday, so maybe I am sort of full of it.
But I will say that you will never be able to suit everyone, at any given moment, and some of the things that you do at your wedding will inconvenience people, but the ones who you need and want to be there will be there, really, they will, no matter what. So don't worry too much about other people, just do what you need to do for you and it'll work out, I think.

Jan 20, 2009

Friday weddings seem fine to me, in fact I'd prefer it over a Sunday wedding (but maybe that's because I always plan on being hungover the day after a party?...uh, drunk much?). I would think that as long as you give everyone advanced notice so they can take the time off work and all that sort of thing, everyone could make it work. Just remember that even if you picked the Most Perfect Saturday Of The Year, a few people still wouldn't be able to make it, ya know?

Camels & Chocolate
Jan 20, 2009

I'll be there Friday afternoon, Tuesday morning, Christmas day, whenever you tell me to, Burnsy! (Um, assuming you give me like one month's--or you know, five--notice, that is.)

michelle woo
Jan 20, 2009

Um, if Friday means you can get THE Max Wagner? DO. IT.

(I gasped, too. Then pet my laptop screen.)

Jan 21, 2009

My opinion is that as long as your not getting married like, next Friday, your people can squeeze ya in! And I am sure that a lot of people will like the long weekend aspect of it, no?

Jan 21, 2009

I just helped my cousin plan her wedding, and my advice is if you really want that church and that photographer go for it! She planned on an outdoor wedding and wouldn't you know? Rainstorm. No back up plan. We had to find a venue at the last minute. She found her photographer at the last minute. She's still bitching about the disappointing venue and the disappointing pictures. It's your wedding and your day so get the things you want and you won't regret it! Even if that means having your wedding on a Friday. Your friends and family wont make a big deal if its one day earlier!

Sanguine Spice
Jan 21, 2009

Friday weddings rule! One of my BFF's ever got married on a Friday night and you know why it ruled? Because she was getting married. Your guests are showing up for YOU come rain, shine, tsunami or FREE AMERICAN CARS - just give 'im plenty of notice and that sweet chapel will be bursting at the seams with love and good times!

Jan 21, 2009

Ok, here's the thing. Friday wedding, Tuesday wedding, whatever - this is your wedding and you need to plan the one you want, because EVERYONE is going to have something to say about it, whether it's the location or the date or the time or who knows what. I got so much nonsense from people about getting married in the Caribbean that I can't even tell you (and it was on a Saturday night and completely did not placate anyone in the least!) how many ... opinions ... were shared with me about that one. But you know what? We had OUR perfect wedding, and everyone who made it (even those with previously-held opinions) had a blast. I'm not saying you shouldn't make every attempt to accommodate your guests, but at some point you have to cut the cord and remember that your priorities count too. And if they involve a Friday to get your dream photog, que sera. (For what it's worth - slim pickins when it comes to island photogs and our wedding pictures are all kind of awful - we've decided it's funny, but a part of me is still really sad - so I have to say that my little opinion is that a photog is awfully important after all!)

Jan 21, 2009

I am in agreement with everyone above - people will always have SOMETHING to say about your wedding, and the timing and the location and blah blah blah. You will NEVER make everyone happy - if you can make yourselves and your two immediate families happy? You're in damn good shape. If having your wedding on a Friday gives you the opportunity to use your dream chapel or your dream photographer or your dream reception location or the 1950s turquoise car that the man in the In-n-Out parking lot ONLY RENTS ON FRIDAYS - then do it. It's really not that big of a deal, I don't think. Hell, I look at Friday weddings as an opportunity to have a day off work and take a long weekend!

It's kind of funny that I was wondering who Max Wanger was, then when I clicked on the link, I immediately smiled, shook my head, and thought "Damn, he WOULD be hard to pin down" - 6 months until my own wedding, and I am still reading every wedding blog I can find every day... and I have seen his work DOZENS of times in the last month or so. He is amazing.

Jan 21, 2009

I completely agree with B- it's your wedding, and you should be doing what works best for you! I'm not engaged, but two good friends of mine are getting married in April, and like B said-- yup, we've all found something to complain about. The reception site is nowhere near the church, it's on a Sunday, etc., etc. But we're all still happily going, because we want to be a part of this for them. I'm pretty sure that your guests from the far reaches of the country will feel the same way.

(And if not, then you have more space!)

Jan 21, 2009

It's a wedding, people won't care when it is or where it is they'll just want to be there to celebrate with you. And to prove my point, this year I am going to 4 weddings. (I'm a bridesmaid in one of them) 3 out of 4 of them are being held abroad so I will be flying to England twice and to Mallorca, all of which will involve time off work. And I have already booked my flights and my time off, because I love the 3 couples getting married and wouldn't miss their weddings for the world (and you know as a bridesmaid it would be kind of awkward not to be there!)

Do what you and Sean want and everybody who loves you will be there to share the day with you. Oh and your photographer is amazing! I love those photos, I hope you get him!

Jan 21, 2009

obama didn't stumble! he realized that justice roberts said the words incorrectly, and paused so he could fix it! and then roberts stumbled, again! and then they carried on.

also, hooray for weddings etc :)

Jan 21, 2009

It depends: Is it going to be an evening wedding or an afternoon affair?

If the wedding were on a Saturday, it seems that most people would be flying in on a Friday anyway. So maybe if it's an evening event, it wouldn't change much for your guests.

However, I have to say: Holly, it's YOUR wedding. Do what you want! If that means a Friday wedding so you can have your dream photographer, do it. You won't regret those photos, but you may regret not having HIM documenting your big day.

Jan 21, 2009

Your day, your choice. In the end, the people who love you and want to be there to share your joy won't care if it's a Tuesday morning or Friday afternoon. They will find a way to be there.

And, I hope you get him for your photographs. Un-freakin' believably beautiful.

In the interest of full disclosure, I got married in Mexico on a Monday afternoon. So, I guess I was one of those selfish brides.

Jan 21, 2009

He didn't stumble over the Oath of Office; Chief Justice Roberts said it incorrectly!! Ugh -- ruined a bright shining moment just a little for me. Because you KNOW Obama has had that Oath memorized since say..oh...November 5th, if not earlier!

Jan 21, 2009

Yay Susie noticed it wasn't Obama's fault! Also, I think a Friday wedding is unique, and give the people who have travelled to see you a chance to have at least a day in San Diego before having to fly home. It is actually quite nice, and I think would work better than a Saturday wedding. Travel Thursday, Wedding Friday, Lazy Saturday, Home Sunday to unpack and rest. It is way easier to take off a Thursday/Friday than a Friday/Monday in my opinion (and in my job...)

Jan 21, 2009

hey! congrats again on the engagement :) i am a longtime reader but mostly lurker because i am so awkward at leaving comments!

anyway, regarding your photographer - if the guy you mentioned doesn't work out, you may want to check out this couple
they are located in california, and their style is very, very similar to the guy you mentioned! just an idea.

love that church!! so cute :)

Jan 21, 2009

oops...i meant to post this link for you
the other one is their blog...sorry!

Jan 21, 2009

I'll be honest- people WILL gripe. They just will. But they will still come and they will get over it.

Operation Pink Herring
Jan 21, 2009

The younger me also blasted off about Friday weddings, Sunday weddings, holiday weekend weddings... and then lo and behold, I considered ALL THREE. I actually prefer Friday weddings over Sundays. If you're getting married on a Sunday, people are going to have to take the following monday off of work anyway, so what's the big deal if they need to take off Friday? I don't think it's a big deal, especially since nearly all of your guests are from out of state and out of country and are going to be traveling and taking time off anyway. Go for it!

Jan 21, 2009

I love Friday weddings. Of course, my husband and I got married on a Wednesday evening ... in an Italian restaurant.

Jan 21, 2009

I personally think a Friday wedding would be fabulous!

She Likes Purple
Jan 21, 2009

If the wedding is important to me -- and it usually is if I'm traveling for it -- I don't care when it is, I'm there. You plan it for when is best for you and your guests will come, regardless.

Jan 21, 2009

My brother got married on a Friday, and I got married on a Sunday, all for the same reasons: everything is always booked solid (and more expensive) on Saturdays. I say go for it. Like you said, if everyone's making a vacation out of it anyway? THEY WON'T CARE.

Jan 21, 2009

i'm so glad i'm not the only one who thinks inauguration is so weird to spell. and no matter how many times i type it, it still looks all wrong.

Jan 21, 2009

Totally understandable why you would want a Friday wedding, but I have to say that Friday/Sunday weddings can be a pain in the ass if you're traveling (sorry to be the voice of dissent, but I'm currently trying to figure out travel plans/work logistics for 3 out-of-town Sunday/Friday weddings). But like everyone has said, people will bitch no matter what you do, and then they'll get over it and come and have a great time. I think when it comes down to it, you have to make the decision that is best for you, and then respect that your plans may not work for everyone.

Jan 21, 2009

Friday weddings are awesome! I was married just 4 months ago on a lovely Friday evening in October. Being on a Friday meant that it seemed like an extra-long weekend for us, plus we had the extra day to unwind and relax. Also, aren't flights cheaper during the week? So your guys that are flying will actually be SAVING money by traveling mid-week. Forget griping--they'll thank you. :)
I look forward to many beautiful pics of your wedding :)

Jan 21, 2009

You've read it above and I couldn't agree more: people always have something to say. Do it when it works for you. If people are flying in, they'll be fine with a Friday. And if they're not? Well, their choice.

It'll be fine. Enjoy this fun process!

Jan 21, 2009

I got married on a Friday and it was great. And, especially since yours is a destination wedding for almost everyone (even those Bay Area people will have to travel), it's not like anyone will be rushing out from the office. Also, if it's in the evening, they could still travel down earlier in the day and not have to take an 'extra' day off.

And if my calculations are correct, you have a bunch of friends who won't care when/where you get married, they are going to BE THERE because they love you.

FunnyGal KAT
Jan 21, 2009

I got married on a Friday and I don't think anyone hates me (well, there's that one bee-yotch, but that's not because I got married on a Friday). We got some flack only from the Pretend Husband's uncle, but he simmered down once we explained that there would have been a gap of a couple of hours between the ceremony and the reception if we had gotten married on a Saturday. He moaned that he had to get out of work early (like, an hour!) but he still showed up. And as far as I know, he doesn't hate me for it.

So, long story short, I vote for you getting married on a Friday or any other day that works for you (I agree with everyone who said people will make it work in order to be there for your day...)

Jan 21, 2009

It's YOUR do what you and Sean want to do. If people want to be there, they will figure it out. Good luck!

Jan 21, 2009

Holly! Why is no one asking the important question???? Will the guy let you rent his turquiose car????

Jan 21, 2009

I got married on a Friday and it was awesome! Our wedding was in the evening, so people could still travel on Friday if they needed to (and they did). Almost all of our guests were out of town, and those that weren't just came after work!

You can't please everyone, so please yourselves! The people who love you and want to be there will be there, no matter when it is.

I was also going to add, having the wedding on Friday lets you see your guests again on Saturday, if you are those kind of people!
We had a brunch with our extended families and guests who had travelled (which was basically all those invited) the next day in my parents back yard. It was a lot of fun, plus the wedding stress was over by then so we could all just relax and enjoy!

Jan 21, 2009

We're getting married on a Friday for the same reason as you -- we can't get the things that we L-o-v-e (that's with a capital "L") on a Saturday.

So far, most everyone hasn't had an issue with it -- as everyone above has said, people are going to come regardless of the day because they want to share in your joy. Not because it's conveniently scheduled on a Saturday and they don't have to take off of work.

I hope you and Sean have a great wedding -- and I'm totally jealous of your wedding photographer.

Neo Geek Girl
Jan 21, 2009

I am not OFFICIALLY engaged but will be soon(ish) and I am seriously considering a Friday. Mostly because I want this to be anything BUT a traditional wedding (tea length dress, no attendants, no flowers) and also because everything is cheaper!

Do what makes you happy!

Jan 21, 2009

I have to be a naysayer here -- I'm not a fan Friday weddings, particularly if almost all of your guests are coming from out of town. I don't like the idea of requiring guests to take a day off of work in order to attend your wedding. I personally prefer Saturday weddings.

Suzy in DC
Jan 21, 2009

I'm going to a Friday wedding in May. The bride freaked out frantically emailing everyone before she finally set the date: "If it's on a Friday, will you still come!!??" We are happily going, and would no matter what day it was happening! :)

jennifer in sf
Jan 21, 2009

If that guy will photograph your wedding on a Friday DO IT. You'll have the pictures forever, and at most the guests will grumble for 30 seconds.

But more importantly, did you get the free drink on VA?? I'll be flying them soon and need to know if I should wear red!

Jan 21, 2009

I have to agree with the person who said you can't please everybody. You gotta go with what's right for you.

People are going to bitch about something. Maybe not your friends, maybe not your mom and dad, but someone will. We had complaints about having our wedding over a holiday weekend (Memorial Day), not allowing kids (so as to not be overrun by little ones), not having my father walk me down the aisle (give me away? WTF?!), not having croutons on the salad (my husband needs a gluten-free diet), our lack of traditional readings (what? you don't like Crime and Punishment?), and a bunch of other things.

But you know what? We had fun. Our pictures show us having fun and the vast majority of our guests having fun. what's best for you. People who really love you, who you really want there smushed in a small chapel - they'll come no matter what the day.

Jan 21, 2009

i'd imagine that all your friends and family who love you would absolutely be there for a friday wedding. plus then you have saturday and sunday to spend with them. :)

Jan 21, 2009

My friend got married on a Friday, and no one killed her. Honest, no one even complained. But then again, as maid of honor, if they had complained to me I would have had to rip off their skin.

So take from that what you will. I don't think it matters, especially if it means you get some things you want, like the photog. Bonus, it's usually cheaper too.

Jan 21, 2009

Holly, I had a Friday night beach wedding -- nobody was from THERE. Many of our guests were coming in from up north (in March), so a bunch of them actually came in Tues. or Weds. and stayed until Sun. It was wonderful. We were able to do an informal banquet on the beach on Saturday with a lot of our guests, too -- basically, I had a real chance to visit with people I otherwise wouldn't have talked to much at the wedding itself.

Bottom line -- Friday weddings are awesome. If someone doesn't come because of that, I'd be surprised if they came on a Saturday, either.

Jan 21, 2009

Reading about your wedding planning is making me want to get married all over again :) Approaching anniversary #2, my advice is to prioritize the photos as much as possible. We sprung for awesome photographers and it was worth every penny to have them shoot our wedding... I'm still thrilled when I look at my wedding photos. I have friends who are unhappy with their own photos and wish they'd chosen differently. I checked out Max W's site and his photos are fabulous... I'd book him!

And I agree with all the other posters that a Friday wedding will be fine... it's *your* wedding and if you give people notice, they will be there with bells on. And a Friday ceremony allows for more weekend fun for out-of-town guests.

Have fun planning your celebration!!

Jan 21, 2009

I got married on a Monday. It was a civic holiday in Canada so I wasn't worried about people making it to the actual wedding - I was worried about people having to work the following day. It all worked out perfectly, though. People who needed to work the next day took it a bit easier on the alcohol (score!) and people who wanted to balls-out party took the Tuesday off work. It's your day. Do whatever you want.

Thespian Libby
Jan 21, 2009

Friday is most civilized for a wedding. It leaves the weekend free for other pursuits. (And thanks so much Chief Justice Roberts for trying to give the oath without notes. Gah!)

Jan 21, 2009

Friday weddings = huge FAIL.

A hige pain for those traveling to the wedding site. Sorry, I speak from experience.

Jan 21, 2009

There was a point in time where I too blasted Friday weddings, but then I went to my friend's, and other than having to take an afternoon off work to make it to town on time, I loved it! Maybe it was just having the entire weekend to recover from the reception, but my opinion was definitely changed after that. That said, my wedding was still held on a Saturday.

Jan 21, 2009

I got married on a Friday at 7pm and it was awesome. The people coming in from out of town treated it like a mini-vacation and I didn't hear any complaints. The people who live in town had enough time to leave work at 4 or 5pm to go home and get ready, etc. Basically ditto everyone who said to plan the wedding you want and the people that love you will be there to see it. And I also wondered about the turquoise car. ;)

Jan 21, 2009

Well, the guy at In-N-Out with the turquoise car took my card and said he'd be in touch. Come on turquoise car guy, please email me!

Jan 21, 2009

Have you wedding on a Friday (I did). You're only going to do it once. If people really don't like it they can vote with their feet. The people who want to share the memory will there come hell or high water.

Jan 22, 2009

I got married on a Friday because the rates were cheaper for a few of our venues and I wanted to get married on a date that was an even number: May 12 was a Friday. Perfect. A couple of people had to miss the ceremony and go straight to the reception, but that didn't bother me. If someone was unhappy about it, they kept it to themselves. Which is how it should be. It's not like people aren't given a ton of advance notice about when a wedding will take place. And if they can't come, they can't come.

Good luck!

Jan 22, 2009

Holly - it is your day so you do what you want. However, if you do get married on a Friday and leave on the Sunday for your honeymoon, it does give you an extra day with friends and family to perhaps have a brunch or something fun.

I say do it - especially if you can have the photographer of your dreams because good photos are an absolute must!

Jan 22, 2009

I got married on a Friday evening. At first I was really opposed to the idea but it was the only time we could get the place for like, years. It turned out beautifully. No one complained, at least not to my face! And we had a lot of out of town guests who were able to make it. I say go for it.

Jan 22, 2009

If they are traveling anyway, it doesn't make a difference. Yeah, you may have to take one more day off of work, but if people care about you, they'll do it. Also, they have PLENTY of notice!

And for those of us booze hounds, Friday weddings are better because you have the whole weekend to recover before you go back to work. As opposed to just Sunday.

Jan 22, 2009

We got married on a Friday night, mostly so we could get the photographer we wanted, too. I loved it! We weren't dealing with as many out of town guests, and it turned out really great. It was such a fun party.

We left for our honeymoon on Sunday, and we spent Saturday afternoon having brunch with our families and opening presents. SO FUN.

If I was traveling for a wedding, I think I would enjoy the Friday night thing because it would give me all day Saturday to enjoy the city I was in. I say go for it!

Jan 22, 2009

I JUST got married on a Friday (Jan 2) and it was perfect. I think you should do it! People will come and they will love it, and if they don't then they can bitch about it to someone else because you will be too busy admiring your guests and the flower garden while sipping ice cold lemonade by the beach.



Jan 24, 2009

I think people are getting used to the idea of Friday weddings these days. It's often WAY more affordable and people understand that.

Hey, if you can't get your dream photographer, try her:

she did my friend's wedding (on a friday night, btw) and the pictures came out FANTASTIC. Whoever you go with, make sure you love them, our wedding photographer didn't do a great job and it's still my biggest regret of the day.

Good luck!

Jan 24, 2009

I committed more of a faux pas by getting married on a... MONDAY. The place I had to have was available only that day, and frankly I was sort of proud of myself for doing something different. While I do occasionally wonder if people are STILL talking about that weirdness (this was 6 years ago), it doesn't really matter. As most people are saying, it's YOUR wedding and your guests will come because they're happy for you and happy to take part. And, likely, happy for an excuse for a long(er) weekend.

Also recommend if you're still in need. She's a gem.

Friday sounds about a million times more sane and inviting (har) than a Monday. Do it up.

Jan 25, 2009

My husband and I were married on a Friday and it was great, and no one complained at all. Go for it!