I Don't Even Want To Tell You How Behind I Am On This Wedding Stuff, At Least According To The Knot
So my new fear is that no-one is going to come to my wedding. Sean and I sat down to write a preliminary list on Friday night---wild and wacky evenings here at the Nothing But Bonfires household, I tell you!---and we came up with an initial group of 98 guests.
The problem, however, is that exactly 16 of these 98 people live (or will live) in the San Francisco Bay Area, where we're planning to get married. The remaining 82 people---that's a whopping 89 percent of our wedding guests, in case you're playing along at home---are based in England, Connecticut, Charleston, and (in the case of one couple) Hong Kong. And seeing as most analysts are predicting 2009 to be one of the crappiest economic years in the history of crappy economic years, these do not seem like very good odds for people to suddenly think "hey, let me jump on a plane and go to California!"
(Hey, uh....Internet. What are you doing on a Saturday afternoon sometime in August or September of next year? Want to come to a wedding? Because it looks like we might have some chairs to fill.)
The wedding planning rages on unabated, and by that I mean that I have....sort of half-heartedly started looking for a photographer. And by that, I basically mean I've been whining about it on Twitter until people like Maggie and Teej and Kristin and Clink take pity on me and send me over their suggestions. Finding a photographer, you see, is proving rather stressful. Surely Sean, photographer extraordinaire, can just take all the photos himself, can't he? Well, uh, no, he can't, sadly---even his arms are not that long---and this has sort of made me sympathize with hairdressers (who cuts their hair?) and doctors (who sets their broken legs?) and massage therapists (who rubs their backs?) everywhere. It's very strange to know you could do something yourself, and do it exactly how you wanted it, and yet at the same time not actually be able to do it, you know?
In other wedding news---I'm sorry, are you getting sick of wedding news? I'm trying to limit it to only one post a week---I have become mildly obsessed with two things: first, the blog Style Me Pretty, sent over to me by Kat, who is now responsible for the entire loss of my evening. I spent an embarrassing amount of time tonight, you see, scrolling through the "Real Weddings" section and feverishly jotting down unintelligible notes that in the morning---"pink!" "apples=place cards" "sparklers?"---will have me wondering whether or not I was abducted by aliens in my sleep, or perhaps whether or not I drank that half-full bottle of Maker's in the kitchen and just don't remember it.
The other thing I am obsessed with right now is a show on TLC called Say Yes To The Dress. A few months ago, an engaged pal told me I should watch it, and so---generally being a fan of anything shown on TLC, with the exception, perhaps, of Half Man Half Tree (I just....I don't know if I can go there yet, at least not while I'm eating my dinner)---I tuned in to Say Yes To The Dress. And my reaction was this: a solid eh. Two ehs up. Extremely loud and incredibly eh.
However, I am here to tell you that the minute you get engaged, Say Yes To The Dress immediately becomes the BEST SHOW IN THE UNIVERSE. I can't exactly say why, but Say Yes To The Dress is like crack to me at the moment; I scroll sweatily through the TLC schedule on my TV menu, hunting down errant Say Yes To The Dress episodes and zapping them with my DVR remote to watch later. I just cannot get enough of this show! I need a Say Yes To The Dress IV, I think. A Say Yes To The Dress pill! Or---be still my heart---a Say Yes To The Dress marathon. Oh my god, can you imagine? Quick, TLC, get on that, please. Before the Internet stages an intervention.
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(PS: You'll be happy to know that this has nothing to do with weddings, but hey, did you notice I updated my playlist over to the right there? I mean, finally. I think you should listen to the third song on repeat until the neighbors start banging on the walls.)
Nov 18, 2008
As a local, I could SO very fill in as a wedding guest if necessary. Husband and I clean up nice, and will charm fellow partygoers and provide an AWESOME gift. And this would fulfill one of my internet stalking wishes. (Outside of meeting dooce, whom I recently hung out with in a dream. Husband thinks I'm cuckoo for cocopuffs.)
I have little advice to offer other than make sure you're happy with your dress. I went for the less expensive, less lovely model. I figured it's one day, who really cares? Shoulda figured the photos would adorn my and the parents' houses for all eternity. And every time I see a photo I think, "ugh. stupid dress."
Nov 18, 2008
I can totally commiserate on the wedding guest list woe. We were really adamant that we wanted to get married inmy parents house in France which meant that half of my husband's family and most of his friends simply couldn't afford to come. Despite the fact that most people we invited to our wedding really cared enough to make the trip, it's what made us decide to have a small wedding in the end. We chose to ask those who could come to be there a week early (yay, come spend even more money!) so we could properly hang out. We fed them and organised lots of little trips. It was really nice, too because by the actual day we all felt even more close and relaxed from having already had so much time together. The other thing we did (which may be a bit obvious) was that we asked for no gifts.
And Holly, thanks for updating your music, great great playlist, yet again!
Nov 18, 2008
Planning my wedding was so stressful! (Probably not what you want to hear right now...) But, I would do it all over again because it was the happiest day of my life.
Don't worry about who can and cannot come right now. Even after my husband lost his job, we planned a trip to Greece for our best friends' wedding, because... HELLO! It's our best friend and we wouldn't miss it for anything.
Economic woe of not, people will show because they love you.
Nov 18, 2008
Oh, phooey to the knot (and all the other wedding timelines out there). You have the time that you have, and you will get it all figured out. The only time I really used the lists was when the wedding was right around the corner and I did it just so I could have the good feeling of checking everything off or just crossing them out altogether because I knew that I wouldn't be doing those things and didn't have time to try!
Nov 18, 2008
I can relate to the Yes to the Dress phenomenon. It's how I felt about A Baby Story, also on TLC. When I was pg, I watched it constantly, incessant tragic endings and all. Now I'm like, eh. (this is also a warning, btw). And of course your friends will come to your wedding! Who doesn't want the chance to travel to San Francisco to watch the charming and endearing Holly Burns marry the best damn photographer around?
You make me smile (in a good way.)
Nov 18, 2008
Just say NO to the knot...I know, sure, it's hard...but seriously chicklette...it'll only serve to stress you out....check it for ideas...then destroy your username and password...permanently.
Have you considered Anna Kuperberg for photos? Her wedding photography makes me want to get RE-married!
http://www.kuperblog.com/
Nov 18, 2008
GAH, the Tree Man, who is not at all tree and entirely warts. My husband forced me to watch that, with the result being that I wanted to send him all of my money and possessions because maybe that would make me poor, but still wouldn't make me Tree Man.
I too became convinced no one would come to our wedding, but ultimately, people did. Incidentally, I believe 98 was the number of people my MIL wanted to invite. So if need be, I'm sure you can invite some of her people and they would come.
Nov 18, 2008
I hear ya on theknot.com. I became engaged earlier this year in Maui and immediately set up an account with them when I arrived home. I was giddy with excitement until they hit me with the "Hi, Sarah, you have 208 million things on your to-do list!" And my stomach dropped to the floor. I think I am down to 193 million now. Slowly but surely.
And, by the way, August next year is a great time to get married. I am getting married the 22nd! Good luck on the wedding plans. Just do one thing at a time and try not to stress too much (wine helps as do friends).
Nov 18, 2008
Also fabulous for wedding ideas: http://snippetandink.blogspot.com/
And I follow a whole slew of wedding photographers, but unfortunately none of them are in San Francisco. My two favorites on that coast are Sarah K. Chen (http://sarahkchen.com/)and Kate McElwee (http://katemcelweephotography.com/).
Nov 18, 2008
Oh man, the tree man still give me nightmares- and I watched it months ago! As for wedding obsessions, don't worry, as soon as you're finished whatever planning stage you are at (picked out the dress, found invitations, etc.), you'll stop thinking about that aspect. I couldn't get enough of looking at dresses, but once I picked mine out, I was completely uninterested.
Nov 18, 2008
A good friend of mine just sent out the link to her wedding photos, and they are gorgeous. She used Rhee Bevere Photography.
And maybe I am weird, but I love hearing about other people's weddings and the planning that goes into them.
Nov 18, 2008
Hey! I'm getting married on Aug. 22nd too!
We have the church and the reception venue booked, and after doing that in July I've taken a 4 month long wedding planning break whether my Knot checklist likes it or not.
I'm thinking that a cake tasting tour of Metro Detroit will help me get back into the wedding planning spirit!
Nov 18, 2008
I could be a "back up" guest. I'm only an 8 hour car ride away, so if the night before you're really nervous no one will show you, you can totally call me and I'll be there by morning. With bells on.
See how much I love you and Shizzawn?
Nov 18, 2008
say yes to the dress is totally addicting! though it often simultaneously makes me nauseated (some of those brides do NOT know what looks good on them - and some are just so horrendously annoying i want to scream). and that one saleswoman - who never makes any sales but blames it on everyone else but herself? hilarious.
Nov 18, 2008
ack. sorry for the loss of your evening. but style me pretty is such a FUN time suck isn't it? how could you not want to have your wedding like 20 times so you could do it differently each time?
at least you are engaged and looking at the site. sadly not engaged yet here! ;)
Nov 18, 2008
oh the wacky wedding woes. at the end of the day the most important thing to remember that when this is all over you'll be married to the person you love. and sometimes...you literally have to push yourself through the details (cause at some point, even the fun ones will drive you nutso!). that being said, i would run, not walk to indiebride.com. and while i loved reading the real weddings portion of the knot website (my husband and i are even going to be featured in the next issue of their magazine...) mostly it just made me breakout in hives because, according to them, i was always five steps behind or out of line.
good luck with it all...at some point...you'll back and laugh :)
Nov 18, 2008
Breath, breath. I have the exact scenario. I'm getting married in Charleston, but currently living in Vermont and half my fam lives in Washington state! Luckily, as you're well aware, Charleston is the vaca hot spot everyone wants to see, just like San Fran. If you invite them, they will come. Trust me. My trick is to play up the location, we're having our event in McCrady's new gallery space so I've been emailing people info about Chef Sean Brock's recent spotlight on the Food Network, etc. It'll all work out.
Nov 18, 2008
First, yes, I would love to attend! I live in Sacramento, close to both SF and Napa. I will even help you fold programs and tie bows on favors ;) I have been around plenty of weddings, and I promise: it will work out beautifully because you are marrying your favorite person, The Knot be damned! And people will make a way; they always do. Take care.
Nov 18, 2008
I am sure you have looked at a lot of possibilities - but John & Joseph Photography is a fantastic option in San Francisco. Another option would be to go to one of the local schools and pick up a few students and have them shoot the wedding - they try very hard, are more creative, and a lot less expensive. If you just pay them for the digital rights to everything you can use Sean's contacts to have them printed, mounted, etc and it would be a lot less expensive.
Nov 18, 2008
Well, at least the pound still makes the dollar look like mincemeat, so you're British friends will all make it, I'm sure. I don't think you'll have trouble filling chairs, silly, not with Alison's wedding cake on tap.
Nov 18, 2008
Ok, wait till you get pregnant..! then it is a marathon of A BABY STORY... lol.
lets not jump the gun.
Nov 18, 2008
Oh oh oh. I know a photographer in Sacramento California. I went to high school with her and she takes absolutely wonderful photos. You can check out her website at http://www.bethdaanephotography.com/ She has galleries of pictures she has taken and how to get in contact with her on the site.
Good Luck :)
Nov 18, 2008
Oh, honey -- you need to start watching BRIDEZILLAS on WE (Women's Entertainment Channel). And MAKE SEAN WATCH, too. It will put everything in perspective for y'all, and by that I mean that Sean will start praising you as the LEAST CRAZY WOMAN in the universe, even when you start catching the Wedding Fever and get a little weird. Trust me.
Nov 18, 2008
When I got engaged I lucked out because another woman in my office got engaged around the same time, and our weddings were two weeks apart. I say I'm lucky because if there was only ONE of us in the office constantly talking about weddings, researching online, etc, it would've looked bad. But with TWO of us it was completely normal! And my boss's sister was also planning a wedding at the same time (poor guy) so we got away with murder.
Nov 18, 2008
Ah, yes, it is odd how our tastes in TV change depending on our current life situation. When I'm single I get all sappy and cry at the character developments on my favorite space operas. When I'm in a happy relationship, I can't be bothered with the drivel. :)
PS Yay for Stockholm Syndrome! Er, the song, I mean.
Nov 18, 2008
My favorite bay area-based photographer is Jessamyn Harris (jessamynharris.blogspot.com) and if we could have afforded it we would have used her in a hot second.
Luckily we found someone who was starting his photography business and was willing to drive from Sacramento to Geyserville (!) and he just finished our album and it is fantastic.
I'm going to put in another plug for the kvetch boards on indiebride.com; there's a Bay Area vendors thread where recent brides rate their vendors of all sorts. You might find some gems there, not only for photography but other things as well. And they're not going to make you feel all behind on your wedding planning like the knot will. (I have to admit, I found the knot to be rather frightening)
I think for photography, you just have to look at a lot of portfolios and websites to see what styles you are drawn to most, and then find a photographer who matches that. You might even fall in love with a photog who isn't in the bay area, but most of them travel so don't limit yourself. Good luck!
ps. Leah of A Girl and A Boy takes amazing photos. We were lucky to have her and Simon at/in our wedding.
Nov 18, 2008
Hmmm. Maybe do a teleconference wedding.
Nov 18, 2008
Check out http://www.justineungaro.com/ - she's in LA and DC but would probably come to you.
Nov 18, 2008
We got married in Tahoe and not a SINGLE person was local. About 75% of guests had to catch a plane and rent a car and find a hotel in order to attend our wedding, and even though it was small compared to some (65 total in attendance), it was perfect, just as yours will be. Something I've told everyone who has a wedding since then: it will shock you who comes (friend from elementary school, cousins I hadn't seen in 10+ years) and it will shock you who doesn't (grandmother in good health, Mike's best friend). Ultimately, people will disappoint and people will surprise, and as long as there's a bar somewhere in the vicinity, you'll be having too much fun to really get down about who isn't there and just celebrate with who is.
Nov 18, 2008
People will come out of the woodwork to attend your wedding. You will be amazed by how far they'll travel (think about how far you just traveled with your hat for a wedding); in fact, at some point, you will start to panic because too many of them will tell you they're planning to attend. But don't worry. It all balances out in the end.
I've been married for ten years and I still enjoy watching Say Yes to the Dress. I enjoy it mainly for the awesome saleswomen.
Nov 18, 2008
I am totally addicted to "Say Yes to the Dress" too! And it's even more ridiculous in my case because I am totally not a white wedding dress kind of gal (I wore a bridemaid's dress with an ivory top and red skirt for my wedding). The parts with the dresses, I'm like, "Eh." The parts where people spend $6,000 for a white dress, I'm like, "Whoa." And the parts with all the behind-the-scenes drama? I'm like, "Oh yeah." The drama is why I watch, of course.
Oh, and in case nobody warned you, those 98 people you invite? A couple of them will send back RSVP cards with "no" right away and you'll feel like no one is going to come to your wedding (for some reason, the "no" cards come first and then the "yes" cards trickle in). And then your wedding day will arrive and you won't even have the time to think about who isn't there.
Nov 18, 2008
What you need to do, is start a seperate wedding blog! so you can just talk about your wedding stuff to your hearts content and only the people who want to read it can! and I am sure that you will get a lot of recommendations from people like myself who spend their 10 hour work days perusing wedding sites... er, I mean I'm sure you'll get a lot of ideas from people....
Nov 18, 2008
Hiya! Another local chiming in. I can highly recommend Deborah Coleman, she's done three weddings for friends of mine and is both exceptional and experienced. I feel you on the TLC addiction, too. My current focus is on "Whose Wedding Is it Anyway," it's so ridiculous!
Nov 18, 2008
I'm getting married July 18th in Windsor so I totally know exactly what you are going through. Well, maybe not exactly, we have 85% of our guests flying in and everyone will be needing a hotel. *sigh* But I think it will all work out, at least I hope it will. Until then, I'm so excited to hear about your plans and know someone else has the same fears as me!
Nov 18, 2008
I could stand in as a seat filler (like at the awards shows!). I'm in the Bay Area and would love to meet you (and Moose too--you guys crack me up). We'll have already attended a wedding in July so we'll be able to exorcise all that bad wedding-guests-who-dance-drunk-on-tables craziness before we get to yours. :D
Nov 18, 2008
I second snippet & ink - http://snippetandink.blogspot.com/ - for inspiration and design ideas.
Just like MLE, I HIGHLY recommend the threads on Kvetch.indiebride.com for finding local, affordable vendors, including and especially photographers. Look for the SF Bay Area threads and do lots of keyword searches. Also, under "Anxiety" they have threads for people getting married within a few months of each other - it's really helpful for venting and brainstorming with other people who are in the same stage of planning.
I will make your wedding cake for cheap! Or, rather, so could another local baker starting their own business who wants to build up their portfolio. :)
Also, I would like to plug something else that I wished I had used form the very beginning. Martha Stewart (I KNOW!) has really great FREE online planning tools including a guest tracker where you can not only keep track of everything (invite sent, rsvp, meal choice, gift, thank you sent, etc.) but an awesome floor plan tool for the event that allows you to seat each guests and name tables. Then you can print out the chart and give it to vendors and people doing setup. Brilliant! We didn't have a wedding planner and this visual plan helped everyone on the day of immensely. I wished I knew about it when I was putting together my guest list and I would have used it throughout.
also, (and sorry this comment is so long!) my professional wedding planner friend said that the two hardest things about planning a wedding is deciding who to invite and where to seat them. So you are doing really well!
Nov 18, 2008
As you live in the Bay Area, you should go and book her: http://www.kuperblog.com/ - I totally love, love, LOVE her wedding pictures!!
Cheerio and best wishes and greetings from Germany, Charis :-)
Nov 18, 2008
I'm in the Bay Area and have acted as a professional chair filler at weddings before (professional as in: paid with food and open bar). Plus, I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself on the dance floor to encourage others to start dancing.
Although, I really think you'll be surprised by how many people will RSVP with "yes, they will attend"
Nov 18, 2008
One of the photographers who shot my wedding is from San Francisco. She's AWESOME.
http://www.ashleyforrette.com/
Nov 18, 2008
A few things:
-Style Me Pretty (*shakes fist) made me feel like an inferior bride. From the inspired, whimsical color palettes to the picture perfect backyard weddings complete with homemade signs directing you to the reception and mini-apple pie favors, it was as if they each had Martha at their beck and call during the planning. Amazing.
-I work in reality TV and not since Rock of Love have I been so proud of the genre as when I saw Say Yes. The father who starts a fight with the dress designer? The grooms who insist on accompanying their brides? The sister who refuses to say she likes any dress and just kind of smirks and offers half-hearted approval? Television gold.
-People will show up. I promise. Even in a gloom & doom economy. I feel like there's going to be a reverse reaction to the recession - people are so stressed about cutting Showtime (cough my husband cough) and waiting for Lean Cuisines to go on sale for $5 for 10 that it'll almost feel good to be able to splurge on a trip. And weddings are the best excuses for that.
Um, I totally should have put all of this in an email. Sorry for the novel.
Nov 18, 2008
Not to sound all Field of Dreams, but people will come. If one of my good friends is getting married across the country, I go. I mean, it is a wedding and people know ahead of time, so they plan accordingly.
Nov 18, 2008
I find myself logging into the bridezilla breeding ground that is theknot.com pretty much every day, just to be confronted by an ever-growing army of little red exclamation points. Oh, they're so angry. I think the entire site is going to explode if I don't check off a few items soon!
Everyone will come to your wedding. I promise.
Nov 18, 2008
I love your wedding posts! And asking a photographer to choose the photographer makes it infinitely more complicated. Instead of just picking the one with the prettiest pictures, I had to make sure that their style matched mine and their processing wasn't too overdone and trendy and oh my god, can I just shoot my own wedding already? But I ended up finding someone I loved and so will you! I actually found this site to be really helpful in sorting through prospects: http://www.wpja.com/
Also, I total (and quite shamefully) second the Bridezillas addiction. Whenever my fiance catches a glimpse he falls all over himself thanking me for being so sane.
Nov 18, 2008
Oh, cute Holly. OF COURSE people will come to your wedding! People LOVE weddings! Plus also, people LOVE San Francisco! When you add that it's you and Sean as the starring couple, it's like you've hit the trifecta and people will positively flock to be with you as you take your vows!
Worry not, my dear. It will be perfect.
Nov 18, 2008
Phooey to The Knot -- I planned my wedding in five months. We married five months and 12 days to the day we got engaged. And I planned it from the other side of the country from where the wedding was held. Our wedding was beautiful, meaningful, and budget-friendly.
The most important thing you can do for your potential guests at this point is pin down a date. That way, if they do wish to come they can start planning, saving money and vacation days, etc. in anticipation of such a big trip.
Check out http://snippetandink.blogspot.com/. She has some really lovely ideas and features gorgeous real weddings. Knowing your views on certain issues I would advise against Wedding Bee, as the site is now owned by eHarmony, a company that discriminates based on sexual preference.
Nov 18, 2008
I LOVE stylemepretty. Have you checked out snippetandink.blogspot.com? It has similar color boards and real weddings.
I felt the same way about the food at my wedding as you guys are with the photos - if only I could do it myself, as I looove to cook and people come to my parties just for the food! But that would be too much stress, so I am catering my rehearsal dinner instead. I had to admit that we can't afford phenomonal food on our budget, so we are getting a pretty decent buffet instead and I'm sure no one but me will even care.
And you want a photog dilemma? I've had one booked for about 15 month and just found out yesterday she had us down on her calendar for the WRONG DAY and has already agreed to do her best friend's wedding on our actual contracted day. So she CANCELED. Isn't that just awesome?
Nov 18, 2008
Instead of a "webinar" (excuse me, I just got full body hives from that word)... you could have a WEDDINGNAR. Webcams are cheaper than plane tix! This would save you a lot on food and beverage costs, and everyone could wear, eat, and drink whatever they want.
Nov 18, 2008
Cherise is right, you need to get your butt over to snippetandink.blogspot.com
I love the weddings featured there and there's always a link in Kirtsy. I'm moving to SF in a few days, so my hubby and I would be more than glad to attend your gorgeous wedding (see, I already know it's going to be gorgeous, you have awesome taste for everything).
Nov 18, 2008
If you need more wedding guests, I am planning on moving to the Bay area in the middle of next August...so...you know...
Say Yes To the Dress? I AM TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH THAT SHOW. And I'm not even getting married, which makes it sort of pathetic, I guess, but still--really good show (in the really-bad-but-great way).
Nov 18, 2008
Heck, I'D fly down if I were invited.
Wedding planning is stressful, but before you know it the craptastic stuff will be over and you will be a glowing bride.
Nov 18, 2008
I continue to watch Say Yes to the Dress, even though I've been married for 5 years now. Wedding dress shopping is completely unlike any other shopping experience, EVER. I can't wait to hear about yours.
And hey, if you need to add to the guest list to make it a solid 100 people, Dave and I would be happy to attend. :) I've never BEEN to San Francisco - and I'd be happy to force him to take me. Don't worry too much, Holly, in another few days, you'll move on to something else, like: Will everyone get food poisoning if we pick the wrong caterer?
(They won't, incidentally. That would never happen.)
Nov 18, 2008
We are winding down the wedding planning - 60 days to go - but I have spent all of 2008 doing what you are doing. It genuinely does really suck at times. However, people will come. They have enough advance notice and know to prepare. Plus the crappy economy means you should be able to get good deals - including potentially hotels for your guests.
Others have already recommended snippet and ink, but i've also loved brooklyn bride, once wed, and elizabeth ann designs. They have been such great resources and inspirations. On EA Designs they have a directory of vendors for every city/state - that should be a huge help, because they are GOOD vendors and not some of the horrible stuff you find on theknot.
Good luck!
Nov 18, 2008
If you think Style Me Pretty is bad, check out www.weddingbee.com -- it is a group blog and their archives are an amazing resource - esp for photogs and local such. There is a massive range of budgets, styles, what have you - I think I learned more from that website than from my married friends!
Wedding p*rn is a dangerous thing, though. It can take all your free time AND make you feel inferior at the same time. Just take the helpful stuff, ditch the rest, and have a BLAST. It will all come together and be amazingly beautiful - PROMISE.
Also, people will come. We got married in the Caribbean and did have fewer guests than initially expected (35 as opposed to ~50), but we wouldn't have had it any other way. It was everything we wanted it to be in the end!
Nov 18, 2008
I bet you'll have to hire a bouncer to keep the uninvited out of the reception.
Nov 18, 2008
Well, if all else fails, the neighborhood crack whores could come.
Kidding! Honestly, I don't think you have anything to worry about. It's probably going to be more like "Father of the Bride" where they keep opening RSVPs and they all say YES and they're going out of their minds that the wedding was going to be so huge.
I get the idea than you and Sean are pretty much beloved by a whole lot of folks, and there are definitely going to be butts in the seats, even if those butts have to fly in from Asia.
Nov 18, 2008
I am not engaged, not even in a relationship and I have a folder on my computer with all sorts of wedding idea pictures saved. Subfolders include cakes, dresses, favors, invites, and picture poses.
I am a maid of honor in an upcoming wedding, but the folder dates back much further--it did grow significantly after this whole maid of honor thing came up. I have an illness and I hope all my potential suitors don't read your blog comments.
Nov 18, 2008
I am sure people will make the effort to come to your wedding, just sure to give them plenty of notice. Invite those from abroad now and that way they'll have time to save. I'm still touched at the distance some people travelled to Scotland for our wedding. Good luck.
Nov 18, 2008
Ooh! If theknot says you're behind, my mom can totally pick up the slack! She did all of the hard work planning my wedding, and, I must say, it was smashing. And besides, with my wedding & pregnancy over, she needs a new project to obsess over:) The pics are here if you want to scan for ideas:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/twoturnips/sets/72157600674053347/
And I live on the peninsula, so if you need any seat-fillers we would be happy to join you. Besides awesome gift, we will bring cute baby. Because babies in fancy wedding britches = squee
Nov 19, 2008
Two wedding photography blogs that I obsess over are jasminestarblog.com and beckersblog.com. They are both amazing wedding photographers and bloggers as well so you guys will have something in common! They are both based in SoCal but travel anywhere for weddings. (Wow, they should hire me!) But you have to check them out, so good!
Nov 19, 2008
If you plan it, they will come! Send a save the date as soon as you have a confirmed place and then everyone can start planning, saving and organizing themselves to come to SF to see you both join the ranks of the newly married.
If you need tips or suggestions - I am a bona fide events planner (with lots of wedding experience) and would be happy to provide any long distance advice that I can.
Nov 19, 2008
I totally know how you feel! When I was planning my wedding it was the same thing. I don't think my poor husband could take another episode of Yes say to the Dress, A Wedding Story, or Bridezilla... good thing is it'll all go away once you have your perfect wedding! :)
Nov 19, 2008
OK, I vowed I would keep my mouth shut with the wedding advice stuff, but hey, I do happen to know a pretty darn good wedding photographer. He's in Santa Cruz, and would gladly travel bay-area-wide. Here's a sample (set to music, no less) of a recent wedding shoot they did:
http://redbatphotography.com/saraandmatt/
No idea about rates and such but website/contact info is here:
http://redbatphotography.com/blog/about/
Hope this helps!
Nov 19, 2008
I just saw Blitzen Trapper in Baltimore last night and they were awesome! The bassist had a crazy little Dollar Store bird call noise maker thing to make the bird chirps in Furr. I loved it...
Nov 19, 2008
This is the very reason I chose to elope, much to everyone else's dismay!
Nov 19, 2008
I've taken the opposite approach and I'm in the second week of my 7 week engagement! So much easier to make decisions when there's no time to dither. We just pick one in the budget and go with it!
Nov 19, 2008
I know you've had a litany of people sharing their ideas on wedding photographers, but can I add to the madness?
http://www.kimberlyjarman.com/weddings/index2.php
(She is an acquaintance of mine from-oh, long story, but-many years ago.)
Nov 20, 2008
I had all of New York City to choose a photographer from and, in the end, went with this guy:
http://www.apheller.com/weddings/weddings.html
I mention this not because I'm the one on the second page getting out of the checkered cab, I swear it, or even because I think you could/should/could use him (although he's freaking fabulous, handsome and gay (somehow that makes it, I don't know, less creepy??) and hip and soft spoken, would definitely fly out to San Francisco, shoots exclusively with hasselblads...sorry I could go on forever) because, at the end of it all, pictures are all you have left. That and you're going to be naked with this person.
And case you didn't get enough (hah!), there's more here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/amymalia/sets/72157603072133416/
There's little way around the fact that portraits are lame, but check out the candid shots from the reception. By far by far the best.
Nov 20, 2008
Ooh, I've been wondering what you guys were going to do about a photographer. So much more stress when you have not only high standards but personal expertise in the area! If I get any good leads, I'll let you know. (Sadly, most of the photographers at weddings I've been to here have been so subpar that MY photos have ended up among the best of the day, which is really, really sad as I have no idea what I'm doing (which Sean can attest to, having seen me in action).)
And I really wouldn't worry too much about not having any guests show up. You guys are both so lovely and loveable that I have no doubt people will go out of their way to attend your celebration. And besides, you're giving people an excuse to come to the Bay Area--it's not like you're asking them to fly somewhere totally lame and for a couple who is horrible and nasty and unattractive. I have a feeling you'll be surprised at how many people will be honored to witness your wedding in person.
Nov 20, 2008
When I got engaged, I became obsessed with the show Bridezilla. I just had to watch!!! Watching horrible behavior like that helped me keep the important stuff in perspective (no matter what disasters that could have happened, at the end of the day the important thing was getting married).
Nov 21, 2008
I have become obsessed with wedding blogs. I love Style Me Pretty. Oh my, I just counted the wedding blogs in my Google Reader and there are 26. In my defense, not all of them update on a daily basis.
Nov 22, 2008
I always feel a little strange recommending the photography company I work for to people I don't know (just 'cause I don't want it to seem like that's the only reason I'm recommending it? Or maybe I'm just weird?), but check out bellapictures.com. They started in San Francisco and have some truly amazing photographers on the team here. I've been on the sales side of things there for the last year but next week I'm moving into screening photographers and actually helping to match photographers and couples, which I am SO excited about! It will be my job to make sure you love your photographer, which I find awesome. If you have questions, just shoot me an email!