Anger Management

A woman was rude to me last night and it made me so angry that I had to go into the shop next door and buy an expensive sea salt shower gel to make myself feel better. And I did feel better, for about five seconds, but then I kind of felt worse again, because what kind of person needs to buy an expensive sea salt shower gel to make themselves feel better? Hmm, me, I guess, that's who.

(Um, reading that paragraph over again, I realize that it kind of sounds like the woman said I smelled bad or something, thus prompting me to go and buy the expensive sea salt shower gel. Which is totally not what happened, and besides, I smell quite lovely, actually, and even lovelier now that I have this expensive new sea salt shower gel. The crux of the matter, I'm afraid, is that this woman was just kind of a bitch.)

So I bought the expensive sea salt shower gel---which I have been lusting after for almost a year, after the mini one I took from one of the two bathrooms in my fancy hotel in Detroit ran out; the horrible woman was merely a catalyst for me to finally treat myself, so HA, horrible woman, I WIN---and as I walked home, I started to feel a little more calm. And then I thought "well, at least I bought a shower gel instead of going home and inhaling a pint of ice cream or shoving a whole pizza in my mouth, eh? No emotional eating for me!"

But then I thought about the horrible woman again and how, actually, a falafel sandwich from my favorite falafel sandwich place would totally cheer me up. And an Orangina too. And maybe some jellybeans, shoveled into my mouth in handfuls in front of my DVR-ed episode of the Hills season premiere. So I went and did that, and that made me feel a bit better too, until I realized that I'd  spent, like, twenty-five bucks trying to get over this stupid woman's careless comment, which was a really crappy waste of twenty-five bucks. Also, I'd just subjected myself to half an hour of Spencer Pratt. Voluntarily, no less.

Why do we let people get to us like that?

I could have (should have) shrugged the whole thing off and kept going with my regularly-scheduled evening, instead of letting that horrible woman's snarky remark sting at me. But I am a member of the thin-skinned brigade. Look at me wrong and I'll crumble. Snap at me and I'll crack. I know that I shouldn't care what people think of me, but I do care, oh, I care so much. And people who really don't care what other people think of them are either very brave or very good liars, I've decided. Either way, it's an admirable quality to have.

(By the way, this morning I can barely even remember what she said to me. Talk about a waste of energy worrying about it! On the upside, at least I've finally got my fancy new sea salt shower gel. Score one for me, I guess.) 

1
trinity67
Aug 22, 2008

I am the EXACT same way so it's good to meet another member of the Thin-Skinned-Brigade.

2
Houseofjules
Aug 22, 2008

Holly, You can never go wrong with some great shower gel, I'll be the first one to attest to that. On the other hand, being armed with The Best Way to Tell Someone Off™ is a good thing to keep in your bag of tricks, you know, for the next time. You're welcome. :)
Jules
House of Jules

3
Raven
Aug 22, 2008

The far greater horror is the Spencer Prattness of it all. (I let what people say/think get to me way to often too) Most of the rest of it is all an upswing (save for the bad feelings of course) I mean, good food and good bath products are GOOD THINGS! But SPENCER PRATT? Never a good thing.

4
NothingButBonfires
Aug 22, 2008

Oh, House of Jules, that was brilliant. I totally should have said that to her. I'll keep it in my arsenal of insults for next time.

YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY, SIR!

5
Gwen
Aug 22, 2008

There are advantages to not caring what people think about you (too much; and I'm an awful liar), but then you miss out on falafel sandwiches and sea salt shower gel. So it probably all balances out in the end.

6
Camels & Chocolate
Aug 22, 2008

Haha, Holly, I'm totally the same way. And this incident reminded me of a little occurrence in the West Palm Airport with the Smug Marrieds and their blatant line cutting. Only, then we indulged in sub-par salads from Chili's instead (though that was actually because that was the only restaurant in the terminal).

7
ydnew
Aug 22, 2008

Actually, my sister is a member of the thin-skinned brigade and my brother and I are not, and I've come to the conclusion that it's biological. The good news for the thin-skinned side is that it's much easier to make friends when you actually care what people think. The flip side of crumbling when someone is mean is the charm and sensitivity and liveliness that makes you such fun to read (and, I'd think, fun to hang out with.) The flip side of truly authentically not caring what people think (not bravery, not lying, just actually not caring) is being terrible at all the social graces that make for a quality sociable life. So appreciate what you have! And if they ever offer a Ritalin for thin-skinned-ness, turn it down.

8
Nathan
Aug 22, 2008

It's amazing how the Internet makes people into mean ten year olds, although admittedly my own negative comments and e-mails involve people saying things like, "Don't you DARE come down to Mississippi."

Um. Noted.

9
NothingButBonfires
Aug 22, 2008

This woman wasn't even on the Internet! She was in real life! And STILL acting like a mean ten year old!

10
Nathan
Aug 22, 2008

Oh!!!! Well, all I can say is, she'd better not come down to Mississippi.

11
Anne & May
Aug 22, 2008

Yeah, mean people in person are the worst. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count how many times I have been wrongfully yelled at and then burst into tears in the privacy of a bathroom stall.

I think you handled well, actually. I always do the same thing.

12
hillary
Aug 22, 2008

But what did you think of the premiere? The whole I was watching I wanted to smack Spencer (more so than usual.) Isn't he supposed to be so overcome with joy that he's back together with Heidi that he, you know, doesn't act like a douche to her?

13
slynnro
Aug 22, 2008

I recently let someone who rudely offered to take my groceries to my car put me in a day long funk. Two of a kind we are.

14
sizzle
Aug 22, 2008

I take people's careless comments too seriously. It's something I am trying to work on but it's hard!

No one has said anything snarky to me today and yet, I want a falafel sandwich.

15
Houseofjules
Aug 22, 2008

Holly: I'm so glad you liked it! Use it early & often, especially in person! I have used it a handful of times and it's even MORE satisfying when said to a female because of the whole "sir" thing. Happy to help!
Jules
House of Jules

16
kia (good enough mama)
Aug 22, 2008

I care too much, too. It sucks. Life would be so much easier if I just didn't give a damn. I also do the self-soothing shopping thing. A LOT! It's dumb though, and expensive.

Unlike you, I would remember what the woman said and take it to my grave, worrying for years if there was some truth to her comments or insinuations. I'm a loser. Uh huh.

17
NGS
Aug 22, 2008

Retail therapy is my solution for all rude people/bad hair days/car accidents/mean comments/problematic conversations I'd rather not have. In moderation, of course!

18
wwcutie
Aug 22, 2008

Is this emotional awareness day? Moose in the Kitchen was talking about emotional eating, and now you hit on something very similar.

Is The World trying to tell me something? Perhaps that I shouldn't have had those Oreos?

19
Moose
Aug 22, 2008

We should form a Thin-Skinned Brigade. Subtitled: Please Don't Make Us Cry.

This is one of the reasons I tend to hide behind the potted plants at social functions.

By the way, SHE SUCKS AND YOU DESERVE FANCY BATH SALTS.

20
savanvleck
Aug 22, 2008

Gosh, it must be in the air. I blogged today about an email I received from my, gee is this a term, niece-in-law; where I will be out-of-town, but by her and they invite my mother over and I am so NOT invited. But, ever so politely. At least on the internet, I can think all day about what to say, even if I never say it, instead of fretting all day about what I DID say.

I think I deserve some fancy sea shower gel; guess I'll settle for dark chocolate.

21
Linda
Aug 22, 2008

Sorry about this long comment, but this reminded me of a zen koan I heard from an ex once and that at the time I really wanted to live by, because it spoke to the dwelling on it part that really gets through the skin. It's this, which I found through a search during which I could pretty much only remember the words "zen," "river," and "carry" (thanks hawaii.rr.com!):

"Two monks are on a trip. They are members of an order that vows not to touch women. As they are walking along they come to a river. There is a very attractive young woman standing by the edge of the river trying to figure out how she's going to get across the river. As they approach her, one of the monks says, "May I assist you across the river?"

She says, "Oh, yes, I'd be terribly appreciative if you would. You can usually walk across here but the water's too high right now." So the monk gathers his robe around his waist, picks the woman up in his arms, carries her across, and sets her down on the other side. The other monk tucks his robe in, walks across and they go on. She then goes on her way and they go theirs.

Hours later, the second monk finally says, "I just can't stand it, I've got to say something. You touched her! How could you do that? We have vowed not to touch women."

And the first monk said, "You know, you must be very, very tired. I set her down on the other side of the river. You have been carrying her all this way.""

22
anna
Aug 22, 2008

Is it wrong that I'm just fixated on what kind of shower gel you bought?

23
Keely
Aug 22, 2008

Ohhh this is my life. Someone says something rude and I run off to cry or sulk somewhere. Then I let it get to me and end up eating an entire pan of brownies. Or buying $100 worth of makeup and soap on Sephora. Does skin ever get thicker?

24
NothingButBonfires
Aug 22, 2008

This is the shower gel. Don't tell my mother how much it costs. http://tinyurl.com/6nbnsj

25
Gretchen
Aug 22, 2008

I've gotten a lot better about not being upset by people's rudeness, but it took me a lot of years. As I tell my kids, if someone wants to act like an asswipe to you, then they're the one with the problem, not you.

I have to check out that shower gel. I've been hooked on Philosophy shower gel for years, especially the Pumpkin Pie scent. Did you know that a survey showed that men prefer the smell of pumpkin pie above pretty much any other smell?

26
Phil
Aug 22, 2008

If you think of anything else you're dying to buy, I can probably come up with something snarky to say!

27
Angella
Aug 22, 2008

My skin is so thin it is almost transparent. Both literally and figuratively. Sigh.

Trolls make me shaky, and real life people with comments make me nauseous.

Why can't the jerks just move to a different planet?

28
Jerri Ann
Aug 22, 2008

I told a cashier off today for the first time in my life. And, the sad thing was, he was the shift manager. But, before I finished with him, the store manager was at my side. I brush stuff off without every thinking twice most of the time, butt this man, he did something that affected one of my kids and we all know, you mess with a woman's kids and...you deserve what you get...

29
Jerri Ann
Aug 22, 2008

His name was Turtle so that made it easier for me to pick on him after he picked on my kid, lol.

30
Kelly
Aug 22, 2008

I so feel for you, I'm the same way, emotional shopping is always a good way to get over it, I think.
xx

31
jill
Aug 22, 2008

people. they're the worst.

32
anna
Aug 23, 2008

That shower gel does look cool. I got a mean comment on a post this morning, maybe I'll go buy some too. :)

33
Kaili
Aug 23, 2008

Spencer is SUCH a wiener!!
I also "therapy" shop, AND am part of the thin skinned club! Oh gee!

Glad you bought the shower gel!

34
Leah
Aug 25, 2008

Here's what I say: If you've been thinking about that shower gel for an entire year, you NEEDED it. So thank you, Cranky Woman, for allowing Holly to get something she needed so much and just didn't know it.

35

I'm laughing because I would totally do the same thing--be so upset about what the lady said and then forget what she actually said. Ha. :)
I usually take a nap when my feelings are hurt. I should shop, it's so much more productive.