Mrs. Kennedy For President

The other day my sister told me that she didn't like the picture of me at the top of this site. She said---and I quote---"it looks like your nose is dripping off your face."

So right after I'd found my Christmas list and changed "Susie: silver BMW convertible" to "Susie: lump of coal and Riverdance DVD," I decided that I should probably post proof that my nose doesn't normally look like it's DRIPPING OFF MY FACE in case, you know, anyone else had come to the same conclusion. Such a deformity would most certainly decrease my chances of luring Jared Leto and/or Matthew McConaughey into my clutches (or Peter Sarsgaard, or Jake Gyllenhaal or the guy who plays Luka in ER or, you know---whoever's free), which is, of course, THE MAIN REASON I STARTED THIS WEBSITE. Don't you know you can find anyone on the internet?

So here is another picture of me! With one eye! And strangely wispy hair! I don't know WHAT was going on with my hair that day but I'd appreciate it if you'd disregard the wispiness and imagine that in real life it is strong and luxurious and that you could climb up it like a rope if you ever needed to. Like if you were, say, the prince in the story about Rapunzel.* Or MacGyver.

Notice the wry smile! Notice the jaunty angle! Notice the spoils of spending college as an English major in the background! (Don't you love how George Eliot is next to Hunter S. Thompson and Anne Sexton is next to Ovid? Imagine THAT dinner party.) Most of all, notice the fabulous t-shirt I received from Mrs. Kennedy ALL THE WAY BACK IN JULY and have only just now got around to photographing. I wear it to work often, and it helps prevent me from throwing heavy things when I'm angry about the incorrect use of apostrophes (as I often am.) Apparently, it's also supposed to do something marvelous to THE GIRLS, but I'm afraid you can't see that in the photograph. Though actually, perhaps I should rethink that. Because you know what? I bet it would bring Matthew McConaughey to my site just that little bit more quickly.

*God, thanks a LOT, Jeeves. I thought you'd at least be able to find the prince's name.

Gretchen C.
Nov 20, 2005

Oh bloody hell, could you just lay off being so goddamned young and gorgeous for a minute? Don't you know the English are meant to be pasty from all that fog and chill, and to have bad teeth? (Of course you understand I am totally being a bitch for the sheer fun of it, and that I think you're the coolest.)

I was an English major too, and my bookshelves have the same odd juxtapositions -- Douglas Adams next to John Irving next to Anne Tyler next to Chaucer. I also see some Joseph Heller lurking behind you, which gets you a thumbs-up as well. I can't see most of the rest of the titles because I've got flies in my eyes.

Nov 20, 2005

It only looks like it's dripping because I've seen the Exorcist. For others, who may NOT have seen the Exorcist, your nose looks defined and dainty. Not, of course, as defined and dainty as mine. Because I have the best nose in the family. And anyway, it was a Porsche Boxster convertible, not a BMW.

Nov 20, 2005


Though for all you Vince Vaughns and Ashton Kutchers out there, I don't.

Nov 20, 2005

Gretchen took the words right out of my mouth. You're so young and hot that I now must hate you a little bit. Only a little, but still. I wish I could have a wry little smile with lips like that. Bitch.

Nov 20, 2005

'The fact that Rapunzel's suitor is a prince adds romance to the tale. The prince doesn't have a name in the traditional versions of the tale, although various modern interpretations have provided names. Donna Jo Napoli names the prince Konrad in her novel, Zel.'


Thanks Google...

Nov 20, 2005

I would so do you if I were single (with your permission, of course). But since I am not, I just have to hate you instead for being so damn cute.

Other items of note:

1. You said "the girls." Yeah! Isn't it a fun phrase?

2. Don't miss Jake Gyllenhaal in that hot new gay-cowboy movie. Unless, of course, you and the girls aren't into that kind of thing.

Swedish Girl
Nov 20, 2005

Vilken pingla, as we would say in Swedish! I think it translates into "what a babe" but that sounds weird and sleazy in English and lacks the cute retro 60-ness of the Swedish compliment...

Nov 20, 2005

I've ALWAYS thought your nose looked like it was dripping off of your face. We talk about it all the time, that and your Girls. Actually, I do talk about your Girls all the time, but that's usually to your face and doesn't count.

Nov 21, 2005

OK, when you've got lips like a freakin' rosebud, anyone who is looking at your nose needs to have their eyeball license rescinded. They don't deserve them.

YIKES! Jeez!

I'm getting almost as worked up about this as I do about inappropriately placed apostrophes.

- M

Nov 21, 2005

the lips!

the eyes!

the cheeks!

the punctuation!


Nov 21, 2005

I had assumed you were aping the iconic Streisand pose in the orignal pic (sans aquiline hook of course), but the new one definitely resolves any doubt about nose dripping. Ah sisters: mine told me she liked my photo because I was doing the "clown smile."

Nov 21, 2005

You don't even have dark circles under your eyes, which would be only natural thanks to that obnoxious neighbor of yours.

Nov 22, 2005

I was going to mention that I would kill for your cheekbones and lips but then I thought that might sound creepy considering this is my first visit here and I don't want to leave a bad impression and it appears I have a problem with run on sentences ::::gasp::::

Nov 23, 2005

Nice books, baby.

Nov 23, 2005

I don't think your nose looks like it's dripping off your face. But I am terribly jealous of your good profile shot.

Nov 23, 2005

You look gah-jus, dahling. Don't give it a second thawt.

Sarah Downing
Dec 13, 2005

Hi Holly,

Thanks for proving that not all British girls are dogs with bad teeth! I HATE this stereotype, particularly as I am myself British and not a canine in serious need of a visit to the dentist.

Compliments on your blog - Most of it is really amusing!

Take care and good luck!