If You Jumped Off a Cliff, I'd Probably Jump Off a Cliff Too

Sean is waiting for Barack Obama to email him. Every time his iPhone buzzes with a new email message, his hands fly to it immediately, nervous as a teenage girl. "Is it Barack?" he gasps. Sadly, it has not yet been Barack. It has only been a bunch of junk mail and maybe one $10-off coupon at Overstock.com.

Did anyone else sign up to be emailed the minute Barack Obama announces his choice for VP or is my crazy boyfriend the only one? A friend at work actually signed up to be text messaged by Barack Obama, which I think is even more exciting. Can you imagine the people you'd impress like that? "Oh hang on, I've got a text. I wonder who it's from. Eh, it's just Barack again. He's always texting me---I think he's on the 100 Free Texts a Month plan or something and wants to get his money's worth."

Welcome to 2008, eh? I will remain in awe of being texted or emailed by Barack Obama until someone tells me Barack Obama IMed them to tell them his vote for the VP candidacy. Or Skyped them. Or Facebooked them. Or maybe sent them a private message on Twitter.

Speaking of Twitter, by the way, I....well, I've got a confession. I used to talk a whole bunch of smack about Twitter. It was mostly in my head, but still: I'd say things like "what do I care what you're doing every five minutes? Why do you feel the need to broadcast it? Honestly, I think I can go a few hours without wondering what you ate for breakfast or saw on TV."

But then---and you know this is coming---I succumbed. After the BlogHer conference, when you couldn't see the podium in the panel rooms for the sea of Twitter screens in front of you, I thought I might just have a look. You know, just to see what all the fuss was about. After much to-ing and fro-ing and mental inventorying, I signed up for a profile---nothingbutbonfires didn't fit, so I'm just hollyburns, thus condemning myself to a lifetime of being Googled by potential bosses, who will then discover what I ate for breakfast or saw on TV---and now wham, bam, I'm a fully-fledged Twitter junkie, following along with the best of them.

I think that's kind of what bothers me a little about it, though: the lexicon. I'm not sure how I feel about "following" people, or having "followers," or having to actually request to follow the more private among us. (Pardon me, may I stalk you?) Isn't it just a little bit....cult-ish? Couldn't they have come up with a word a little less menacing? Woooooooohhhhh, don't look behind you, I'm FOLLOWING YOU. I'm on to you, pal! Look alive! Sleep with one eye open! Etc etc etc.

On the other hand, it's really bloody addictive.

Do you Twitter, by the way? I sort of hope you say you don't. That way, at least I know I'm not the last person in the ENTIRE WORLD to get a profile.