Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

So Sean and I bought this thing for the cats: it's called the Furminator and it's amazing. I'm kind of obsessed with the Furminator, actually, and it's starting to prove a little disturbing.

Remember the Child Snatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, how he was always trying to lure those sweet little children into his creepy carriage with the promise of lollipops and cherry pie? Well, I've started to turn into the Kitty Snatcher, and the bulk of my evenings are spent trying to persuade my cats to jump into my lap, so I can get them nice and comfy and settled in and then ATTACK THEM WITH THE FURMINATOR because, oh, it is just so satisfying, pulling out clumps and clumps of hair and knowing that this hair, at least, is never going to end up on your good black pants three seconds before you walk out the door for work.

When I say "attack," by the way, I don't really mean attack; I'd obviously never do anything to hurt my cats, and I scrutinized the Furminator literature about four hundred times before I became well and truly convinced that a Furmination wasn't going to cause them any pain. Being Furminated feels just like being stroked, apparently, and I've got to say that my cats seem to love it, at least if their contented purring and sighing is any indication. And this, of course, makes the Furminator pretty much a win-win situation for all involved: the cats feel like bonafide VIPs because Mama is suddenly spending some good old-fashioned QT with them, and Mama, in turn, can stop drinking before noon because FOR ONCE there isn't a thin veneer of cat hair covering every surface in the house, so help me God, I'm sure I just cleaned this yesterday.

(By the way, don't Furminate yourself. Sure, go ahead and laugh, but you just try not looking at that thing and thinking "hmmm, this would be so much easier than trimming my bangs with the nail scissors." The things Sean and I tried to Furminate on the glorious first eve of owning the Furminator included our own heads, each other's heads, each other's forearms, and our own jean-clad thighs. None of these things worked, by the way. Best not to embarrass yourself by trying.)


Speaking of unwanted hair (weren't we?), here is a little story for you, and the moral of the story is READ THINGS A LOT OF TIMES. Even if you think you've read something correctly the first time? You should read it again. Trust me. In this way, you will find that you spit Diet Coke out of your mouth a whole lot less.

Part of my job, you see, is to answer travel-related questions from people, and this morning I was browsing through a whole bunch of travel-related questions when I glanced at one that made me stop in my tracks. I looked at it. I looked at it again. It said "How can I get a Brazilian without having to get both my parents' signatures?"

My mind, of course, screeched immediately to a halt and then proceeded to run directly through a series of thoughts including (but not limited to) "what?", "what in the---?", and "well, I know you have to have your parents' permission to get your ears pierced, but....really? For THAT? Can that be true?"

And then, of course, I read the question again and realized that whoops, my brain had totally neglected to register the word "visa" after the word "Brazilian," and OH WOW, THAT IS SUDDENLY A WHOLE LOT LESS WEIRD, I GET IT NOW.  PLEASE HAND ME SOME PAPER TOWELS TO CLEAN THIS SPAT-OUT DIET COKE OFF MY KEYBOARD.


By the way, we are going to Seattle at Thanksgiving! It was booked today and now I can't stop talking about it, and yes, I do realize that Thanksgiving is still approximately eight hundred years away, but throw me a bone here, I didn't get a Thanksgiving last year because I was in England, nor the year before because I was in Singapore, and this year, I am going to do that bee-yotch up right. And it doesn't even matter than I'm not even American! In fact, that just makes me want to celebrate more! Anybody want to have me over for Thanksgiving dinner in Seattle? I'll bring the finest sweet potato casserole money can buy.

Jun 25, 2008

I have heard ALL GOOD THINGS about the Furminator. So much that it makes me think about getting a dog. But I think my landlord would have something to say about that, Furminat-or-not!

Pass the paper towels... that Brazilian thing made ME spit out my water.

I LOVE sweet potato casserole. Why don't you swing through Chicago on your way to Seattle (it's only a few miles out of your way!) so I can take some of that off your hands?!

House of Jules

Jun 26, 2008

OMG! The FURminator looks awesome! I'm pretty sure I'm going to die if I don't run out and buy one tomorrow. And by die, I mean wake up gasping for air when my lungs are clogged up with shedding cat hair.

Jun 26, 2008

Seattle is fantastic. (Not as fantastic as Portland, of course, which is where I will be. Maybe next year?)

I find that "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" is a milestone movie for all of my British friends, and my American friends barely recall seeing it, if they ever did. I once had a five-minute conversation with a British friend about whether the Neuschwantstein castle is, technically, "The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Castle" or "The Disneyland Castle." I'm sure King Ludwig would be horrified.

Jun 26, 2008

One of my cats loves the furminator. Loves it. The other will take your hand off at the wrist if you try to use it on him. You can only use it on him if you simultanously pet him and furminate him, which I find diffcult to say the least (I also can not rub my belly and pat my head at the same time).

Jun 26, 2008

WOW..your timing is unbelievable. At this very moment, I'm awaiting a visit from the rescue center lady who will be accompanied by a supercute little Pekingese whom I will probably not be able to resist adopting..and having had Pekingese all my life, other than the last 5 years, the shedding was my biggest fear!

Thanks Holly! You are GOOD..

Jun 26, 2008

I haven't even finished reading the post but I had to immediately say holy crap we just ordered a furminator on amazon last night!! I expect it to solve all my car hair woes. We have three cats who are shedding like they are ten cats. I can't wait to try it. (We have a dog, too, but we're mean and keep him pretty much shaved.)

Jun 26, 2008

Oh! I have the Furminator too. It is rad. Poor Elroy has a love hate relationship with it. He wants me to brush his FACE with it all the time... he hardly has any hair on his face! Weirdo!

All Adither
Jun 26, 2008

If only I still had a cat to use the Furminator on. That thing is crazy amazing.

Jun 26, 2008

I love both the Furminator for my two beastly kitties -- it really does cut down on the layer of ginger fur I find stuck to everything in the hosue -- and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for childhood nostalgia. (Of course you realize that I will now have the Chitty Chitty theme song and Toot Sweets stuck in my head all day.)

Jun 26, 2008

My sofa, my chairs, my duvet cover, and my clothes all sincerely thank you for this mention of the Furminator. I had never heard of it before and every.single.thing. in my apartment is covered with black cat hair. I must order one today.

Jun 26, 2008

I covet the Furminator, it is tops on my christmas and birthday list this year, which is really sad considering it is a pet brush....

We are in Seattle, and short of potentially having a one week old new baby for thanksgiving we'd love to have you. Of course our meal this year might consist of chinese take-out (which surely goes well with sweet potato casserole, no?), so I guess you might want to consider other offers. If you want any advice on what to see and where to stay, drop the line. I've been a true Seattlelite for all of my 32 years.

Renee from GA
Jun 26, 2008

I tried a cheaper Furminator wannabe because they looked almost identical in the store. The Bamboo Care Cat FurBuster has worked very well. I could build another cat with the hair I remove!

Also, riddle me this - how is it that I wear a lot of black and tan, and I have a black and tan tabby, and the black hairs end up on the tan portion of my wardrobe and the tan hairs beeline for the black portion??!! My cat color selection strategery = EPIC FAIL.

Jun 26, 2008

I first heard about the Furminator from Schnozz and promptly went out and bought one for my mom. She has a golden retriever with insanely dry skin and massive amounts of hair. They've even banned her from certain areas of the house (i.e., their bedroom and their offices) in an attempt to avoid drowning in shedded hair. (Is shedded even a word?) She says that the Furminator works fantastically. However, she is like myself, in that we are almost terminally lazy. She doesn't use it nearly enough. I think you are supposed to use it a couple times a week, not maybe once a month.
Yay for making your Thanksgiving plans already!! I have no idea what we're doing for Thanksgiving, but at least Christmas and New Year's have been decided. Brazil here we come!!

Renee from GA
Jun 26, 2008

P.S. Love Luke's song!

P.S.S. Why does the comment form object to my not filling in the website field with the address of the website that I do not, in fact, have?

Nothing But Bonfires
Jun 26, 2008

Argh, I don't know. That bugs me too. I keep meaning to ask Sean. Hey, let's all ask him and then maybe he'll change it.

Jun 26, 2008

Do they make a furminator for dogs? If they do, sign me up.

As for Seattle, we live in Gig Harbor, which is a cool little town across the Sound, but you are more than welcome for Thanksgiving, if you feel like getting out of the city.

We do have a 1 year-old who will most likely want to show you all her toys and share her mashed potatoes with you, however.

Jun 26, 2008

How Internet-stalkerish is it of me to be excited that you'll be in our neck of the woods for Thanksgiving? It's not Seattle proper, but if you want to see the 'burbs of Seattle, you're very welcome in Kirkland!!

We Seattlites can offer up the list of Must Eats when the time comes closer. Because leftover turkey sandwiches aside, what good is something involving an airplane if it doesn't also involve some very tasty local cuisine?

Jun 26, 2008

hahah. the idea of asking my parents permission to wax my nethers is killing me. hahah.

Jun 26, 2008

I have the furminator for my dog and love it just as much as you have described.

Jun 26, 2008

Seattle is a great place to celebrate Thanksgiving! I am totally biased, of course. ;-)

Jun 26, 2008

We use the furminator on our dog and it's great! I've tried to talk other people into getting one, but they just look at me like I'm crazy for getting this excited about a brush for the dog...

Jun 26, 2008

I've been obsessed with the prospect of the Furminator for some time now. I've not heard a single bad review of it from an actual owner. I've also added the Peticure to my recent pet grooming tool obsessions. But will my 70lb. dog that required 3 vet techs to hold him down the last time his nails were clipped, really sit calmly, as if receiving a spa treatment, like the commercials suggest?

Jun 26, 2008

The bit about the Brazilian just killed me. Too bad you didn't draft an answer to the question before rereading it -- now THAT would have been comedy gold.

If a girl has a Furminator, does she even NEED to get waxed?

Jun 26, 2008

And I have some friends in Seattle.
It's so nice there.

Jun 26, 2008

Well my dear, make sure you bring a warm sweater, a coat maybe and a cute scarf/hat. We moved to Bainbridge Island (20-25 ferry ride from downtown Seattle) three years ago from a cute little coastal town in central California. I thought, hey, I'm used to foggy, gray, wet winters this won't be a problem. No one told me it actually snows up here. Oh sure, the first winter everyone said snow at sea level was a fluke. Well, three winters later, it's snowed every winter. Last winter it snowed 5 (yes, FIVE) times. So I'm not buying the "fluke" stuff. There are many fantastic restaurants to choose from...of course, you're welcome to come to our little abode if you can deal w/two corgis, two cats, and two kids. It's a houseful. Definitely take a ride on the ferry though, it's fun and makes for great downtown Seattle photos!

Anne & May
Jun 26, 2008

Aw, man! I was hoping it was going to look like the Flowbee! I got all excited and google the furminator but then was let down.

You should go ahead and get a Flowbee just to amuse me.

jennifer in sf
Jun 26, 2008

I've been on the Furmintaor fence, so to speak, and I think has pushed me over the edge. So thanks!

Jun 26, 2008

you and sean are SO welcome to our thanksgiving!! my friends and i are mostly separated from our families by several states, so for the past two years, we've had a mish mash of mostly people our age (mid-20s to early 30s), each bringing a dish - we usually say bring your favorite dish from family thanksgivings. we have tons of food, lots of wine, and a really great time. i'm lame, but i secretly think we're like the gang on friends, and it makes me really excited. several of my friends work in web-based journalism/photography as well (it's hard to explain when you don't want to be specific!), so i think we would all have a lot in common!

at the very least, i can tell you where to have a great drink - chapel in capitol hill ( its' a converted mortuary (bruce lee was cremated there!) with a spooky cool vibe that serves KILLER martinis. my favorites are the hibiscus, lavendar, and bloody mary martinis.

anyway, let me know if you guys want to join us for thanksgiving - i'll tell everyone about your blog, and we'll be one big nbb fan club gathering! :)

Jun 26, 2008

Maybe I'm just getting old, but I'm thinking there might be an age at which you should have to ask your parents about getting a Brazilian. I'm just saying.....

Jun 26, 2008

If I asked my mom to sign so I could get a Brazilian I'm sure she would but she would think I was hiring a new pool boy or something.

Jun 26, 2008

Oh my gosh! I am obsessed with getting a Furminator!! It's all I can talk about!! More than baby gear! I must have one!!

Jun 27, 2008

The Furminator is the best thing ever. I shut myself into the bathroom with the cat -- so he CANNOT ESCAPE, bwah ha ha -- and Furminate him until he gets so mad he's about to rip my face off. But in that amount of time, I am able to reduce his body weight by about half from the amount of hair removed. I only do it about once a month, but it is OH so satisfying every time.

Lady S
Jun 28, 2008

I look at the Furminator every time I go to the pet store. I am so tried of vacuuming up half my cat. I now may be able to convince my husband to get one now.