The Day I Almost Met David Beckham

Alright, so I didn't really almost meet David Beckham---well, unless we're being very, very vague on the concept of "almost," and, come to think of it, on the concept of "meeting" as well---but I did kind of almost see him last week, and that's something. 

What happened was this: my friend Kristin had been asked to interview him while he was at Macy's in San Francisco promoting whatever he's promoting these days (the benefits of being really, really good looking, perhaps?) and when she told me this, I begged her to take me with her. "I'll be your assistant!" I said. "I'll hold your purse! If you run out of pencils or breath mints, I can hand you one!"

When it transpired, however, that Kristin would be out of town and would therefore have to turn the David Beckham interview down, I disowned her as my friend tried to convince her that we should pull a Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield on old Becks instead: she'd pretend she was going to show up and then at the last minute send me, masquerading as her. It was perfect! As for the fact that we weren't actually twins and I'd need to acquire, among other things, a long blonde wig and an American accent? Well, I'd figure that one out on the fly. 

Sadly, she didn't go for this idea, which was a terrible shame. Honestly, the world does not have enough people pulling teen fiction-inspired switcheroos on famous soccer players in retail department stores, if you ask me.

So I figured I'd just go to Macy's on Thursday anyway---you know, just hang out, see what I could see, maybe get a glimpse of David Beckham through some shrubbery or something, possibly bring one of Sean's insane paparazzi-style telephoto lenses, perhaps. It was on my walk home from work anyway, I reasoned, and it's not like it could hurt. Besides, my sister Susie---who, by the way, did have an actual David Beckham shrine in her bedroom between the years of 2002 and 2004---had given me a secret weapon. "Just tell him you're English!" she said. "English people secretly love to talk to other English people."

(When she said this, I had a sudden vision of myself calling out over the tops of everyone's heads: "David! Londoner in the house! Important question! How do you feel about British banks being accused of boycotting Cuba? Also, what's your favorite flavor of Monster Munch?")

As it happened, however, I never got a chance to impress David Beckham with the amazing coincidence that we'd both been born in the same country, because I got the dates wrong. While I was planning the perfect "Accidentally Run Into David Beckham" outfit for Thursday, he was actually appearing at Macy's on Wednesday, and so it was that Sean and I happened to stumble upon a huge crowd of people hanging out in Union Square as we were making the tired and sweaty trek home from work on Wednesday night.

As we elbowed our way through the masses towards home---a laptop bag makes a good battering ram, by the way, should you ever need to do this yourself---the crowds parted across the street, and before I'd even had a chance to swipe another coat of lipgloss across my mouth in preparation, there he was, David Beckham himself, being led by stern-faced bodyguards to a large black SUV while a chorus of teenage girls called out his name.

The good news is: the iPhone has a camera function.

The bad news is: David Beckham walks really fast.

The other good news, I guess, is that I now have a picture of a large black SUV should I ever want one. Hell, I have two.

(And in case you were wondering, yes, he was so much smaller in real life. Isn't that always the way?)

1
mary
Jun 22, 2008

This entire post had me chuckling but I have to say:

The bad news is: David Beckham walks really fast.

That was my favorite. So sorry you missed him and YES, much MUCH better than P. Diddy!

2
Camels & Chocolate
Jun 22, 2008

Dude, had my editor actually been smart enough to get the dates right, I would have actually been there WEDNESDAY to meet and greet with Becks, as opposed to suffering that horrible run-in with the cop in Monterey County who LIED and gave me a ticket for going NINETY-FOUR instead of the SEVENTY-SEVEN I was doing (still, speeding, yes, but a lot less harsh of a violation).

I will be fuming about this for months. Or at least until I pay off this exorbitant traffic violation. (Do you think this was the way the universe was repaying me for REFUSING AN INTERVIEW WITH THE WORLD'S SEXIEST HUMAN?)

Next time, come hail or high water, you and I both will be there to greet him with open arms/lips. No Wakefield maneuvers necessary.

3
LA Blogger Gal
Jun 22, 2008

aw man, so close, but yet so far. I hate it when that sort of thing happens. I for the record, I totally think the SVH-like stunt would totally work!

4
houseofJules
Jun 23, 2008

Ahhh, Sweet Valley High! I used to love that series. These days David Beckham would make a really, really great substitute.
Jules
House of Jules

5
Kirsten
Jun 23, 2008

I am a happily married woman. But that man, damn that man! I don't like tatoos, and not much into sportsy types. I am much more of a geek girl myself. But that man, damn that man. Any chance to see him in the real life flesh should be celebrated. You ran into him by chance, which is far better account than one that is planned. Kudos to you! Let me know if you run into Christian Bale. He is the number #2 man that I drool for.

6
First Rough Draft
Jun 23, 2008

Hilarious. My girlfriend is obsessed with David Beckham and probably would not have been content to take photos from afar. She'd probably be sitting in a jail cell right now -- arrested for running after him.

Also, I loved the SVH reference. I always wanted to have a twin was identity swaps.

7
Sarah
Jun 23, 2008

I spent quite a bit of time last year outside of London and heard them interview DB on the radio several times - he might be quite nice to look at, but he is somewhat lacking in the brains. Kind of a turn off. Now I just cross my fingers he won't talk, and I can forget about that and focus on how pretty he is!

8
jennieB!
Jun 23, 2008

well it could have actually been Thursday - they were still in town looking for things to do... Case and point:

like me, you could have watched your cubemate silent scream back into the phone when a friend calls her and tells her that David Beckham (and Posh and kids) are late-lunching in the very window-filled restaurant that sits oh-so-conveniently on the lobby that your elevator comes and goes from...

I sadly don't have a thing for Becks, but there was quite a stir on Thursday and some girls did go down and sit in the bar of that restaurant trying to reason with themselves that the dude just wanted to have lunch with his family undisturbed. Then they walked around the outside of the very window-ful restaurant to get a slightly closer look.

9
Constance
Jun 23, 2008

A Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield! Well holy cow (and I don't use that phrase lightly), I haven't heard those divine names referenced in far too long. Please tell me part of the plan was to wear purple. Well done.

10
Ari
Jun 23, 2008

It's 6 Degrees of David Beckham!

My Dad lived in the same building as the Beckhams in Manchester. I never saw them - they were in Spain by then, but I did end up in an elevator with Gary Neville once. I was also hit by one of those scary telephoto lenses outside the building. Those paparazzi fellows have their eye on the prize, let me tell ya.

11
Bethiclaus
Jun 23, 2008

Almost celebrity sightings are the best. And you can never have too many pictures of black SUVs.

12
Shamelessly Sassy
Jun 23, 2008

haha. I had forgotten about Jessica & Elizabeth Wakefield completely. I might go dig them out of my garage. And by them, I mean the books..not the Wakefields.

13
Operation Pink Herring
Jun 23, 2008

For the record, I absolutely would have suggested the same SVH-type switcheroo! Becks wouldn't even have noticed your accent, I bet. He would have just thought you were the best sounding American he'd ever met.

14
Melanie
Jun 23, 2008

I was JUST talking about SVH yesterday! You totally should've tried the switch.

I saw Becks ONCE, and he took off his shirt.

*drops on floor from memory, picks self back up*

My husband and I saw Real Madrid play in Chicago a couple years ago and had second row seats behind the goal. I was happy watching him score (*drool*) but THEN... everyone took off their shirts! I had no idea they swap shirts at the end of friendly games. Did YOU know this?

Needless to say I sprinted through the stands to get as close as possible & take a picture with my phone.

*falls down again*

15
Marguerite
Jun 23, 2008

Aaaah, david beckham! We had this huge Armani underwear campaign with him wearing briefs (that's what they're called, right?) a few months ago, I am still not over that! And also: the European Soccer Tournament is on right now, and now that my team has lost, I am watching only because of the shirt-swap at the end. But don't tell my husband!

16
chiada
Jun 23, 2008

First off, this totally reminded me of the scene in Bend It Like Beckham at the end when they're at the airport and Keira Nightley yells out, "Oh my gosh, Mum, Dad! Look, it's Becks!"

Then when you talked about Susie saying to just tell him you're English, I couldn't help but picture the scene from Austin Powers 3 in my mind when Austin Powers sits down with his father, Nigel Powers (Michael Caine) and they speak in English English: "Oh the one that was all sixes and sevens? Too right you!..Why not just have a jay arthur?...The bobby and the lawery..she shat on a turtle!"

Lastly, I've always thought that he must be rather small because he really doesn't look all that much bigger than Posh, and we all know how tiny she is.

In conclusion, either my life is a movie quote, or yours is. :) Cheerio!

17
Jordyn
Jun 23, 2008

I must say, this whole post was awesome, but the best part? "Alright, so I didn't really almost meet David Beckham---well, unless we're being very, very vague on the concept of "almost," and, come to think of it, on the concept of "meeting" as well"

Haha. Hahahaha.

Man, I wish I had someone to pull a Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefeild with.

18
kat
Jun 23, 2008

my coworkers and i discovered on the day of that he was in town but alas it was too late. otherwise you know that us women would have hightailed it to see him. ah. so gorgeous. but really? shorter than you'd think? how much shorter?!!

19
slynnro
Jun 23, 2008

What is it about people with similar accents and how they must chat? I always want to chat up southern accent folks all around the world. Even though I don't have one. But I'm from Texas.

20
Kerri Anne
Jun 23, 2008

The half-naked man adorning the Macy's wall in the first picture you posted? Even if that's not David Beckham, that still pretty much makes the shot for me.

21
jennifer in sf
Jun 23, 2008

Did you see Macy's when it was completely COVERED with the giant Becks in underwear ads?? I almost just fell right over.

22
Northwest Girl
Jun 23, 2008

I'm still hoping Seattle gets an MLS team!

23
alisa
Jun 24, 2008

hello:

I recently stumbled upon your blog from a link in another, and just wanted to compliment you on how conversational your writing is. it reminds me of the way a very old and dear friend of mine speaks.

so thanks!

-alisa