Whenever I have to turn my cell phone on---and this is often, because I'm forever forgetting to charge it and so it dies a slow death, complete with desperate mewing sounds, which I guess are actually warning beeps, and then I realize that no-one's called me for a whole day and start panicking that I have no friends and no-one likes me, before I realize that my phone has just shut itself off because the battery's dead and PLEASE, I need to stop being so neurotic---it has a message for me. (Which is not "stop writing insanely long sentences," surprisingly.)
The message is in black type on a white screen and it says this: "Be safe. Be courteous." And though I know it's just Cingular's way of saying "Don't you dare call to check your bank balance while you're balancing a cup of hot coffee in your lap and trying to shift into fourth gear and then sue us when you have a crash, and also please for the love of God, don't be one of those annoying wankers who answers their phone in the movie theatre, EVEN IF IT'S JUST DURING THE PREVIEWS," I still like to read a little more deeply into it. You know, like the universe is sending me a message, and so today I will be extra safe! And extra courteous! It's a cross between always having a horoscope that makes sense, and constantly having my mother watching over my shoulder to make sure I'm minding my Ps and Qs. Which is helpful, I think.