A Few Things That Probably Aren't Okay:

Roughly 60% of my motivation for attending yoga is that the (rather attractivc male) teacher gives shoulder massages afterwards.

I've started using Swiffer and Dyson as verbs.

Someone found my website by googling "walked in on girlfriend peeing." I sort of feel sorry for him---one can only assume he was looking for advice on dealing with the embarassment of the situation.

When Sean and I talk to the cats, we refer to ourselves as Mama and Papa.

With French accents.

One of the local radio stations hosts an annual Boxing for Boobs event, wherein girls fight each other for the grand prize of a breast augmentation. Tonight they're also hosting a Lingerie Ball and a Naked Lady Pumpkin Carving Competition. If I were 30 years older, I'd probably say something like "and this is what we burned our bras for?" But I'm not, so I'll just say "my god, WHO in the world would ever go to a ball in their underwear? On purpose?"

1
Susan
Oct 31, 2005

I get a surprising number of hits from people searching for things like 'mommies with small boobs' and (my favorite) 'sexy latte drinking mommies.' What the hell is wrong with these people?

They are probably the same ones who go to see a naked lady carve a pumpkin, yes? (I find that so very disturbing. And potentially dangerous.)

And Swiffer IS a verb.

That is all.

2
Lynn Moran
Nov 01, 2005

I went to the same male hairdresser for years because he gave me the most awesome neck and head massage when washing my hair. The haircuts were terrible.

3
alice, uptown
Nov 19, 2005

Dyson is just an upmarket method of hoovering.