Roughly 60% of my motivation for attending yoga is that the (rather attractivc male) teacher gives shoulder massages afterwards.
I've started using Swiffer and Dyson as verbs.
Someone found my website by googling "walked in on girlfriend peeing." I sort of feel sorry for him---one can only assume he was looking for advice on dealing with the embarassment of the situation.
When Sean and I talk to the cats, we refer to ourselves as Mama and Papa.
With French accents.
One of the local radio stations hosts an annual Boxing for Boobs event, wherein girls fight each other for the grand prize of a breast augmentation. Tonight they're also hosting a Lingerie Ball and a Naked Lady Pumpkin Carving Competition. If I were 30 years older, I'd probably say something like "and this is what we burned our bras for?" But I'm not, so I'll just say "my god, WHO in the world would ever go to a ball in their underwear? On purpose?"