Come On, I Bet You Guys Were All In That Program For Gifted Kids When You Were Younger

I'm having trouble coming up with a tag line for the new design of my site. There's some lovely real estate up on the header just waiting to be filled with something witty and pithy and fun, but man, all I do at my regular job is think of lines that are witty and pithy and fun, and by the time it comes around to being creative OFF THE CLOCK, my head is as empty as Paris Hilton's....uh....head, I guess. I was trying to go for something a little cleverer there---Paris Hilton's bed? Nope, that won't work, certainly not---but exactly, there you go, you see what I mean? I'm all tapped out on the creative front. Case in point, I guess.

I really want a tag line. I really want it to be funny. I really want it to say something about my site. And yet as I tried to put my brain to task on the elliptical machine at lunch---when I wasn't shooting evil glances at the homeless man standing outside the gym, just STARING AT ME for a full twenty minutes while I worked out, like buddy, this glass between us may be tinted for you, but IT'S NOT FOR ME, I CAN SEE YOU, AND I'M TOO SWEATY TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT---I just couldn't think of anything simultaneously hilarious and meaningful. And non-cheesy. And relatively short.

An idea I've been batting around is "For best results, read in a British accent," but am I just plagiarizing my own About page if I say that? (MOTHER OF PEARL*, that thing needs to be updated; so many things have changed! I mean, I don't even count Ben Affleck among one of my "dislikes" any more, for one thing! Have you seen Gone Baby Gone? It was excellent, and Ben Affleck himself directed it. I think I shall forgive him his butt chin for that.)

And what about "It's all happening"? Do you hate that? Is it ridiculous? (That's what the line "Nothing but bonfires" means though, really, or at least what I interpret it to mean). And then there's "Didn't we have a time?" which is another idea I've been batting around, although I fear I may be letting my obsessive My So Called Life fandom show a little there. (BUT STILL! THAT IS ME! EMBRACE ME! DVD BOXSET AND ALL!)

Maybe I don't actually need a tag line. What do you think?

Perhaps I'll sleep on it, and you sleep on it too, and if any brilliant ideas occur to you amidst those dreams of Ewan McGregor, warthogs, and your fifth grade gym teacher, you could drop them in the comments box below. And if not, no worries at all; I have not forgotten---mainly because Sean has never let me forget it---the ill-fated tag line contest I ran while we were away in Burma for ten days, and then ....uh....forgot about. I even bought a Burmese prize for the winner and everything! But somehow lying on a beach in Phuket got in the way of, you know, FOLLOWING THROUGH ON MY PROMISES, and I never got around to actually choosing a winner. I'm sorry to all of you whom I may have disappointed with my flakiness. Seriously, what am I, the Girl Who Cried Tag Line?

But this time will be different, I swear. If you can think of a Nothing But Bonfires-appropriate tag line---I mean, you know, just if one occurs to you or something, no pressure---then please feel free to pass it on. Let's not call it a competition---because you know how good I am at that---but if I do end up choosing your tag line to fill that horribly sad empty space on my new site, I shall be totally indebted to you forever and a day. What would you like me to do for you? Shall I send you flowers at work? Should I call your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend and pretend to be the doctor with the chlamydia test results? Shall I give you a break from blogging one night and write a guest post for you? Shall I furnish you with some excellent San Francisco/London/Bangkok travel advice? Shall I leave your outgoing voicemail message for you in a really hilarious British accent? I mean, I'm yours, man. Just send help. And puns. And humor.

*(Over the weekend, Sean bought this truly fantastic Cowboy-style shirt that totally brings to mind the stylings of the late Ennis Del Mar. Yet the one thing he isn't so keen on is the way the buttons are made out of some sort of faux mother of pearl-type substance. I think the buttons rock, but what I think rocks more is using MOTHER OF PEARL! as an exclamation, particularly when very surprised, in pain, or annoyed. Seriously, it's fun. You should definitely try it.)

1
sgazzetti
Mar 13, 2008

I don't have a tagline to suggest, but I think all of your ideas are cute/apt/not horrible. I think asking readers to suggest others is likely to bear lots of fruit, and you may have as much difficulty deciding on one from that pool as you're having committing to one of your current candidates. So why have just one? It should be trivial for Sean to install a randomizing engine so that your tagline could change. That way you wouldn't have to have one little phrase do all the heavy lifting, or have to agonize over it. As more lines occur to you, you could add them in. No one gets bored, surprises daily, everybody wins.

2
Sher
Mar 13, 2008

Not your average Guy Fawkes site

3
Monica
Mar 13, 2008

Since I'm in the same predicament myself (revamping my web page and placing a witty tag line)... I got nothing, not even a suggestion... which can pretty much tell you how empty (sort of like my gas tank right now in the car!) my brain cells are right now. But I do like the idea of having a different one each month, as suggested by sgazetti. Now if I can only find myself a boyfriend with the skill at web designing that Sean has....

4
Monica
Mar 13, 2008

Since I'm in the same predicament myself (revamping my web page and placing a witty tag line)... I got nothing, not even a suggestion... which can pretty much tell you how empty (sort of like my gas tank right now in the car!) my brain cells are right now. But I do like the idea of having a different one each month, as suggested by sgazetti. Now if I can only find myself a boyfriend with the skill at web designing that Sean has....

5
Marin
Mar 13, 2008

I like the "best results" one. Unfortunately, my brain seems to be fried, so I'm not good for much else. Sorry. :)

6
House of Jules
Mar 13, 2008

My love and appreciation for My So-Called Life is boundless! Mother of Pearl, I miss that show. I even met Wilson Cruz in real life when I lived in NYC. It was all I could do to not scream, "RICKIEEEEEE!" Luckily I controlled myself.

I think you could add the word "like" and a dramatic pause or two in whichever tagline you choose and people will (pause), like, just know.

Here's my submission:
"My So-Called Blog"

I'm ignoring my own advice in that suggestion though, so maybe my submission should be: "My So-Called (pause), like, Blog."

Jules
House of Jules

7
Catherine
Mar 13, 2008

Pearl snaps! Nothing else is even remotely authentic.

8
wwcutie
Mar 13, 2008

Why yes, I WAS in the program for gifted kids! If everyone is gifted, does that mean that no one is?

9
Dingo
Mar 13, 2008

I like Nothing But Bonfires. No tag line needed, in my opinion. So much is contained in those three words. But if you MUST have a tag line, I will try to think of something. :)

10
DiaryofWhy
Mar 13, 2008

I think that, like tattoos, there's no need to run out and get one if you don't have something very specific in mind, just for the sake of having one. What I'm trying to say is I think it's fine to not have one. But then, it's ok to have one, too. Maybe your tagline could be, "Taglines: Less permanent than a tattoo." Obviously this wouldn't work forever, but maybe as filler, while you're waiting to find that one perfect thing. Good luck!

11
tiff
Mar 13, 2008

I was, it was called TAG - talented and gifted! But sadly, I didn't take the "come up with a tagline" course. Also, my tagline changes rather frequently, so maybe it's better to go without?

12
Anne Bradshaw
Mar 13, 2008

Hello there! I, too, have a British accent.

How about "No Smoke Without Bonfires" or "Bonfires Smoke" or "Bring on the Bonfire" -- or "What a Bonny Fire" (just kidding).

13
Mir
Mar 13, 2008

What, no "sweet cracker sandwich" in the running? ;)

14
martina
Mar 13, 2008

I'm getting on the sgazzetti bandwagon and putting in my vote for a tagline generating function. Check out Defective Yeti... he has one and his taglines are both random and hilarious.

Alternatively, just looking over the past post there's approx 17 possible taglines right there...

For instance...

simultaneously hilarious and meaningful. And non-cheesy
Or
Letting my obsessive My So Called Life fandom show a little
Or
The Girl Who Cried Tag Line
OR
Tthis time will be different

15
Carly
Mar 13, 2008

Oh, I like what Martina said. I already love that your current blog design pops up a new header each time you refresh. Maybe your new one could do the same but with new taglines.

Nothing But Bonfires: The Roaming Gnome's Got Nothing On Me

Nothing But Bonfires: Keeping Out The Riff Raff Since 2008

Nothing But Bonfires: It's Nothing A Little Penicillin Can't Cure

Nothing But Bonfires: My Boyfriend Is Hawt

Just a few suggestions.

16
Maureen
Mar 13, 2008

How about, "Insert witty tagline here"?

Of your own suggestions, I like "For best results...", but I do not really like "It's all happening" very much. Can't say why. But I *would* like it in a different language for some reason. I'm trying here to translate it into French, but of course, I can't remember how. Um. "Le tout se passe" maybe? You should probably check with someone who actually speaks French if you go with that idea, because that probably says the equivalent of "All is happen."

17
Kristin
Mar 13, 2008

Oh, I totally say Mother of Pearl!! as an exclamation! I think that would be an awesome tagline! (Make sure to use an excessive amount of exclamation points!)
I was also in the gifted program... but I can't think of anything else clever enough for you.

18
vague
Mar 13, 2008

I love "mother of pearl" as an exclamation. I may just have to steal it.

On the tagline front, I have no suggestions for the line itself, but I will tell you that I change mine about once every few weeks, because something will seem brilliantly funny and clever for a while before it just starts feeling stupid. You might try rotating them, or something. Actually, I have seen a couple of sites that have a different line every time you load the page. I bet Sean would know how to do that. Anyway, good luck!

19
Magpie
Mar 13, 2008

Have blog, will travel. That's all I got. You can use that one too. lol

20
angela
Mar 13, 2008

To steal from Dingo, your tag line should be:
Nothing but Bonfires: No Tag Line Needed

21
bg
Mar 13, 2008

I love your category "Best!Things!Ever!" and celebrate a little everytime I read a post marked with that category. It just cracks me up. I think Best!Thing!Ever! would be a great tagline.

22
Chelle
Mar 13, 2008

I quite like "the girl who cried tagline" myself. Magpie and Carly also had great suggestions though!

23
Nothing But Bonfires
Mar 13, 2008

Oh BG, you just wait.....

24
ambika
Mar 13, 2008

I like 'mother of pearl' as an exclamation as well. Plus, it's not truly a cowboy shirt without mother of pearl snaps. Even the designers at the Gap know that.

I honestly think you could steal a page from dooce and rotate your header on a monthly basis. Of course, not being at all informed about design or html, that could incorporate a lot of work so feel free to disregard.

25
Diane
Mar 13, 2008

Celebrating a tagline free 2008 or
Home of Secret Bachelor Tuesday (Wednesday...)

Am at work so of course my creativity has been sapped by the evil corporate forces. I of course will go home, crawl into bed and just before I fall asleep think of something incredibly witty, forget to write it down and it will be gone forever!

I like "the girl who cried tagline" the best.

26
Cobwebs
Mar 13, 2008

How about:
If all the world's a stage, I want to control the trapdoor.

or possibly:
If it's not one thing, it's a BUNCH of things.

But "Sweet Cracker Sandwich" does have a ring to it.

27
Nothing But Bonfires
Mar 13, 2008

Sweet Cracker Sandwich is copyright of my friend Jemima -- it's not mine at all! I just stole it. So I should not lay any claims to it.

And yes, I'm all about switching the tag lines out every so often, but I just need one amazing one to start!

28
kate
Mar 13, 2008

Along the MSCL theme, "In my humble opinion." or "Guys don't have a monopoly on thinking about it."

Okay, now I just want to sit down and watch them all again.

29
Kristen`
Mar 13, 2008

I think "Mother of Pearl!" should be the tag line!

30
beth
Mar 13, 2008

I like "best read with a British accent"
However, I don't know about you, but I have to admit that few things annoy me more than an awful redenition of a fake accent....
So maybe,
"where there's smoke, there's..." Nothing But Bonfires
But that kinda sounds like you're an arsenist or smoke a carton a day. Sorry!

31
Lori
Mar 13, 2008

"Impressively Brilliant Without the Baggage!"

32
patricia
Mar 13, 2008

Mother of Pearl!..... been using that for years. Had to find some other way of swearing in front of the nieces and nephews. (there was a tv commercial years ago that sent around on the web and in it a guys says "Mother of Pearl"). Mother Trucker is my other favorite kid-friendly "explitive"

33
Sara
Mar 13, 2008

You could take a cue from fashion which bans VPL (visible panty lines) and continue without one, thus having no VTL (visible tagline).
Nothing But Bonfires: No VTL
Yeah, maybe not so much... Never said I was gifted or brilliant. I leave that up to you and your posts.

34
Catwalker
Mar 13, 2008

idea #1: for the first month's tagline you could put "Watch this Space" and then have a new tagline each month.

idea #2: "If you blogged here you'd be home" (a joke about the signs you see on apartment buildings along the commuter roads in LA)

idea #3: "Wet Paint" (since it's a new site and all...) and then update monthly.

35
B2G
Mar 13, 2008

Remember your Club for Ladies Club or whatever it was? What about like... wait, I've actually got nothing. Man I'm lame. But I heart the word "pithy!"

36
Emily
Mar 13, 2008

I was just wondering if I could have the old design? Since you're retiring it and all. And now it's technically "vintage."

Send Sean over pronto. I'll even let you borrow Dave for a week. He can rig up something exciting for your car in return.

37
Shannen
Mar 13, 2008

Hi Holly! Sorry, I am not witty today and so I have no tag line ideas...I just wanted to say that "mother of pearl" thing is so funny because my 10 yr old daughter has called me that for years...I have NO idea where she got it but everytime she says it I'm like, "STOP calling me that!" And then I log on here and there it is! LOL

38
Linda
Mar 13, 2008

One of your commenters yesterday (Adele) had that line, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is English." Could you steal that and change the but to and? (Since we all need to change more of our buts to ands.) Mother of Pearl is also very funny.

39
She Likes Purple
Mar 13, 2008

I love Lori's! And I too was going to suggest "Sweet Cracker Sandwich" but I remembered it was something your friend said. So apparently I have nothing original or new to offer. But of your choices, I just love "Didn't We Have a Time"

40
Raven
Mar 13, 2008

I like Lori's or your own plagiarized bit about the accent. Everything is better with a british accent. Even a fast food menu!

I think I might have to change my own to "it's all down hill from the gifted class" because I was in fact one of the gifted kids and what the hell happened to that, I wonder.

41
beth beth
Mar 13, 2008

You should definitely use “Simultaneously hilarious and meaningful” because you make me laugh and cry in equal amounts. I often have to stop reading your blog at work because bursting into spontaneous laughter is as difficult to explain as crying at my desk. But I love your writing, and I think that tagline captures it.

42
Maureen
Mar 13, 2008

Ooo! Ooo! I know I already left a suggestion, but how about "The ladies' blog for ladies"? Although, that might turn off your male readers.

43
Gretchen
Mar 13, 2008

"Mother of pearl" is an expletive used in the SpongeBob cartoons. (Sorry, my momness is showing.)

Tagline: Where Holly REALLY Burns. Remembering that old post where you set yourself on fire.

44
Moose
Mar 13, 2008

I'm excited to see your new design! I might even be guilty of hitting refresh on a regular basis to see if it's up yet. (I have hobbies. Really, I do. They include obsessive web surfing and hiding my wallet in new and creative places so I can't be tempted to sneak out and buy a donut.)

I've been hinting to M. for months that his next gift to me should be a Slinskyfied blog design. I think I'm being too subtle. Instead of sighing heavily and saying, "GOSH, I wish I knew web speak so I could fix this heinous sidebar of mine," I should be yelling "Pay Sean to design me a web site!" and hitting him over the head with a whiffle bat. (Gently, of course.) (Wouldn't do to break him before he could write Sean a check.)

45
Renee in GA
Mar 13, 2008

I vote for the British accent tagline, because sometimes I forget to remind myself to read your entries in that manner for the best possible (i.e., most hilarious) results. An alternate tagline is one of my favorite sayings, ganked straight from your site: "Sweet Cracker Sandwich!" Though there may be an entire land somewhere whose populace has been using this exclamation from time immemorial, I have always given you credit for it. Finally? Ewan McGregor……YUM.

46
Adele
Mar 13, 2008

I'm still in that program for talented kids. I hope to graduate by the time I'm 35. Dang, those 8 year olds are smart.

Re. straplines. I like your idea for the British accent one a lot.

Or maybe you could try and get the word brouhaha in there?

"Brouhaha from a Brit Abroad"

"Brouhaha from a broad who's a Brit abroad" (ok too complicated)

"Brouhaha with more or less of the Ha Ha, depending on my mood"

Anyway...I think I'll go and lie down with a wet flannel on my face.

(that last one wasn't a strapline...but you know, feel free....)

47
Heather
Mar 13, 2008

"caught between tomorrow & yesterday"

48
Leah
Mar 13, 2008

You know, the first thing that came to my mind was something about how the site must be read in a British accent. Because it really does make all the difference.

49
Simon
Mar 13, 2008

Nothing But Bonfires: "Where we pronounce the 'T' in "Water."

That's the best I can come up with, taking Leah's comment to heart.

-Simon

50
Alyce
Mar 13, 2008

borrowed from your bio
NBB: pretty much everything you thought it'd be

NBB: lifts and boots and jumpers oh my!

NBB: where fog and good hair peacefully coexist

NBB: flogging a dead horse since 200? (whatever year you began blogging, or the year of your birth)

51
amy
Mar 13, 2008

At last (cue dramatic Etta James intro, you know the one, with the super duper violins, that's right), I can leave you a proper comment and tell you, properly, how much I heart you and your blog, and all this fabulous pinkness. And brown (and don't you DARE listen to Allure and their whole "pink is so 2005" because as far as I'm concerned 'Petal' is here to f-ing stay. Much like Journey albums).

Anywho.. I should say though, for reasons I cannot explain, every time I come here, I get routed to some other post you left on (usually) same day but like three months prior. Because, apparently, your blog is haunted. Which makes it EVEN MORE AMAZINGLY AWESOME.

52
katie
Mar 13, 2008

Nothing But Bonfires: Pass The Marshmallows.

And because I couldn't remember mallow was spelled mallow or mellow, I had to look it up, and guess what? I think this definition of marshmallow is apt: often marsh mallow Botany: A perennial plant (Althaea officinalis) native to Europe and naturalized in marshes of eastern North America, having showy pink flowers and a mucilaginous root occasionally used as a demulcent and in confectionery

that's all i've got. and now i have to look up demulcent. happy cha-cha-cha changes!

53
Jessica
Mar 13, 2008

"It's okay. I laugh at me too".

54
Anne in SC
Mar 14, 2008

I LOVE "Pass the Marshmallows". If you chose that one, you would definitely have to include the definition.

I also love the revolving tag line idea.

I have always thought that you named this site (my whole 4 months of reading) NBB because (in the little world I created before I ever read the first post here)everything around you was getting out of control. Or "popping up Bonfires". Kind of like the Midas touch, only with fire.

Maybe that could be one: "Like the Midas touch, only with Fire".

Or other dorky things like:
"NBB...and no way to put them out"
"NBB...Life's Bright Spots. They Sometimes Go Up in Flames."
"NBB...and too many to put out."

You have the creative mind, I'm sure you can come up with something great from all of our suggestions. If I come up with something else (I feel like it's right in the back of my throat)I'll re-post.

55
metalia
Mar 14, 2008

I like the "For best results..." also. Or! You could use the tagline to brag about your mad ANTM pool skillz. :)

56
Michelle
Mar 14, 2008

"Flakier than momma's piecrust"

(because for a baker that's the BEST compliment ever!)

Or

"Now with more follow-through"

57
Teri
Mar 14, 2008

NBB: Bursting Into Flames Since 2005

58
Adaora
Mar 14, 2008

Distill in River Thames?

Shaken Not Stirred?

Light My Fire?

Don't Fight it, Light it?

59
Maya
Mar 14, 2008

I'm with Raven-they called us the "G.A.T.E. Kids" (gifted AND talented education) apparently the nearsightedness and habit of reading the dictionary weren't enough, so I got the added fun of being nicknamed/made fun of. It made a fun six years or so. Siigh.

Ok, taglines: NBB: Now with Regular and decaff Burns" (I still laugh about the Regular Burns thing) or:
"NBB: Taking San Francisco by storm, one Jello salad/boardgame at a time"

60
Telaine
Mar 14, 2008

Inspired by your "Incapable of Making a Decision" post:

Nothing But Bonfires -- Just one perfect tagline, because all the others fell short.

61
katie
Mar 14, 2008

Rad that I was in GATE, but still had to look up marshmallow.

62
Alexandrialeigh
Mar 14, 2008

"Dusting off my sealegs since..."

Wait. No. Bad idea.

I just wanted to stop by and let you know I posted something on my blog that includes a memory I have of working with you at that blasted business newspaper we both used to slave at. Funny!

63
Mego
Mar 14, 2008

I really liked the ones Martina pulled from your post:

"Simultaneously hilarious and meaningful. And non-cheesy."
and
"This time will be different"

64
Nancy Moore
Mar 14, 2008

No Tag Line... no worries at all!

65
lauren townsend
Mar 14, 2008

how about "A Girl as Mad as Birds" or "The Moon is Disgusting, It's Made out of Cheese" or "It is Most Mad and Moonly" -wait that's the name of the blog ive abandoned...ill think of more later...

66
Sheyenne
Mar 14, 2008

How about "Nothing But Bonfires- no crack whores allowed."

67
gina in sc
Mar 14, 2008

sheyenne, rofl. we dont want to offend the crack whores round here!! HAHHAHAHA sorry.

i like the one about the less permanent than a tattoo-what a good analogy

68
Jenine
Mar 14, 2008

Your "Nothing But Bonfires" quote made me think of something different too. Amazing how we all have a different take on it. (Something smart about Shakespeare's polymorphic language here.) It sounds like everything's come right and we're having the hugest party to celebrate. It makes me happy. But I don't have a tag line for you.

69
Rachel
Mar 14, 2008

How about "Nothing But Bonfires: Rockin' the Sprinkler since 'insert birth year here"

Yeah, sorry, I've got nothing but I thought I would at least try and work for the London travel advice.

70
Sandra
Mar 15, 2008

"It's all in here, unless it's not."

Heard it in an old episode of Law & Order yesterday and thought it might make a good tag.

71
missbeegail
Mar 15, 2008

Given that a) your site is named Nothing But Bonfires" and b) your last name is Burns and c) you occasionally light yourself on fire, I think theme for your first tagline is obvious. How about:

Nothing But Bonfires: The best possible Burns.
Nothing But Bonfires: Burns brightly.
Nothing But Bonfires: Burns all over the world.

Okay, I could go on, but I think you get the point.

72
Todd
Mar 15, 2008

How about one of these:

'all bonfires, all the time'

'if it's a bonfire, you'll probably find it here'

'better than the best thing ever, and then some'

'single-handedly disbanding crack whores since [year]'

You're welcome. :)