It Takes A Village

Whoa, Internet, stop what you're doing! We have an emergency. Specifically, we have a hair emergency. And you know that's the most serious kind.

A few weeks ago, when I was despairing of my hair and how I would ever get it to do anything vaguely normal and attractive-looking, I made an appointment to get it all chopped off. This is exactly what I said in my mind: I hate this stupid hair! I'm going to get it all chopped off! And I honestly believe I would have walked into the salon that day and let them have at it with a razor blade and some gardening shears if they'd told me to come on in. I was so fired up about it. Short! I decided, I would go short! I would go really short, like maybe Gwyneth-in-Sliding-Doors short!

But what I hadn't counted on was the stylist I wanted to see being super popular and the earliest appointment with her being TWO WEEKS AWAY. And that rather let the air out of my tires a little, the wind out of my sails. And so I sighed and said sure, I'll take it, and wrote it in my diary and promptly forgot about Going! Short! and maybe sort of half-heartedly browsed through some back issues of Us Weekly to look for some styles that I liked, but didn't find anything and figured I'd just wait for inspiration to strike. My appointment, coincidentally, was set for the day before we leave for Ecuador next week, and that was added incentive to perhaps not do something quite so drastic as I'd initially thought. Because if there's anything worse than an unfortunate haircut, it's an unfortunate haircut that ruins your vacation. And if there's anything worse than THAT, it's your boyfriend going "it looks fine! I don't know what you're complaining about! Surely they meant to give you a rat's tail like that! Now come on, let's go and do some sightseeing!"

So I had plenty of time, a whole week in fact, to figure out exactly how ballsy I was going to be in the hair department. (Um, whoa, that sounded wrong. Didn't it sound wrong?) But then yesterday morning the salon suddenly called me and said they'd had a cancellation on Saturday afternoon, THIS Saturday afternoon, and did I want to take it, and in my panicked state---panicked because I was trying to talk very quietly in my cubicle, as I'd forgotten to turn my cell phone off and had just serenaded the entire office with the theme tune from (appropriately enough) The Office---I said yes. And this meant that I had approximately a day and a half to figure out what I wanted to do with my hair.

What does one do when one needs to figure out what one should do with one's hair? One e-mails Whoorl, of course, she of the luscious locks and the gallery of Good Hair Days. "I have NO IDEA what I want to do with it," I wrote to her, "just that I'm sick of the length and the wispiness and the screaming fits every morning, and I want it to be short and cute and choppy and sort of show my face rather than hanging in it, and not get blown about by the wind and stick to my lipgloss, and kind of have a vaguely Parisian thing going on as well. Also, I want it to look good with headbands."

Internet, the woman should run some kind of hair consulting business, I am not even kidding. She is a hair genius, a very compassionate hair genius, who wrote back "Holy shit. We've got a highly-charged situation here! SATURDAY!?"

(Unless, of course, you are her mother. In which case I was totally lying and she wrote "holy guacamole" not "holy shit.")

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that she GETS hair. Even after the only direction I'd given her was "a sleek, mod, bobbish sort of thing, with some swoopy bangs. But not a Posh Spice haircut! And not too boyish!", she instinctively invested in my hair and scoured the Internet for some suitable pictures. And frankly I am a little in love with them. Do you see them? Do you like them? What do you think?


I'm pretty sure I like the one on the left the best, even though I never in my life thought I would bring a picture of Ellen Barkin with me to the hairdresser. But this is sort of good, I think, because so often when I see a haircut I like in a magazine, I realize afterwards that it's not actually the haircut that I wanted, but rather the face of the person sporting the haircut. This is really particularly tricky when, say, Natalie Portman goes short.

However, Ellen Barkin's face is nice and all---and really, I can only pray to the Hope In A Jar gods that I'll look that smokin' hot when I'm 53---but I'm pretty sure I don't want it. I'm pretty sure I only want her hair. Emily Mortimer, there, on the other hand, is just as cute as can be, and I'm really trying very hard to distance her kickass haircut from her kickass cheekbones and sparkly kickass eyes. (Also, I'm slightly worried that I just really like the name Emily Mortimer, and that's why I'm considering this sort of haircut. But I do also really like the fact that you can see her ears. I don't think my ears get enough play.)

Here is the thing, though: have I had these haircuts before? I'm thinking I actually might have---or at least I might have had something similar. I've sort of found that pretty much every stylist I go to---from Charleston to Singapore to San Francisco---gives me the exact same cut, and this leads me to believe that perhaps I just describe what I want the same way every time, and maybe I need to stop that. Also, I really don't want the bangs section of my haircut to be too short, because I've been there and it doesn't really suit me; my face starts to resemble a donut. Or a bagel. If bagels didn't have holes. Which I guess would mean they weren't bagels, but anyway, it starts to resemble something round and doughy. The bangs definitely need to swoop.

I have high hopes for this stylist---my first time with her---because she comes very well recommended by Wood, and also because she has possibly the coolest name you've ever heard in your life, and also because her salon is right opposite my favorite British grocery store, so I'm figuring that if it all goes pear-shaped (um, not literally---a pear-shaped haircut? That would be awful!), at least there will be chocolate HobNobs in fairly easy reach. And in all likelihood, I will probably present her with both of the photos above, plus maybe another one of AB Chao---confidental to AB Chao: I am so sorry to keep taking pictures of you to hairdressers! I swear I am normal!---and see what she can do.

But, as always, since I am incapable of making a decision---especially in times of EMERGENCY! like this---I'd appreciate your two cents. One of the two photos above or something entirely different instead? What do you think? Any other pictures I should look at?

And sweet cracker sandwich, I swear to god, next time I'll post about important current affairs or something.


Ooooh, what about something like this? Which is also kind of the same as this. That woman is Natalie Imbruglia, and I took a picture of her to my stylist in 1998 and ended up really liking the haircut. (You can see me with the, um, blonde version here: scroll down until you see me sitting in front of a car in a turquoise top. Please ignore the fact that I am blonde; it wasn't my finest moment.) I do really like this cut, but am sort of worried about going back to a style I had when I was EIGHTEEN. Which was IN THE NINETIES.

Aug 24, 2007

Definitely Ellen's do. The other one is nice, but you'd be pulling your bangs behind your ears all the time, and honestly, there isn't anything more irritating than watching a woman fiddle with her hair every 5 seconds. You see it on TV shows all the time, they're flipping it out of their eyes, or putting it behind their ears and I'm sorry, but it drives me BONKERS.

Whew, sorry, go for Ellen's, it's classic and looks easy to manage too!

Aug 24, 2007

I scoured the internet and even had to google Jenna Jameson because she has a bob now (never google her! Especially if other people are around!) but you seem to have the best pictures, I like the one on the left too, but you could just as easily take in an old picture of yourself, because its rather the same! But the same works, ooh maybe you should get more choppy layers, like Keira Knightley!

Aug 24, 2007

Current affairs next time? Forget it. THIS is a current affair, and a fairly important one, might I add.

I like the Barkin. The Mortimer looks like it has the potential for mullet-izing in short time.

Aug 24, 2007

1) I love Mandy Moore so I'm biased buuuut I really think this is a very cute style that she didn't have very long and I got it from google search not from seeking it out.

2) I think it kind of takes both of your picks and melds them together, and I think the loose waves are good because unless you have super-straight hair you'll have to flat-iron your hair for ellen's look and who wants crispy hair in 4 months?

3) you could get the bangs more swoopy on the forehead than this cut but I think the longer layer on top over the ears but shorter in the back is nice.

THIS picture came up when I googled "bob with bangs" and I think witnessing that gives me at least an extra half of a point than everyone else. :p

Aug 24, 2007

grr! the picture didn't show much for the "ease" of hotlinking. ;)

Aug 24, 2007

This is one of my favorite sites for hair. You can browse through for free but with a credit card, a digital photo of yourself, and a couple of hours, you can try on thousands of hairstyles...

Hope that helps.

Aug 24, 2007

Ellens would be best, because I think the other one MIGHT look like a mullet on those inevitable bad hair days.

Aug 24, 2007

I don't have any advice on the haircut, but I thought it would please you to know that when I initially glanced at the photos above, I thought that the photo on the left was the haircut you'd gotten and the one on the right was you, showing it off. Because I've never heard of Emily Mortimer (and according to I have never seen a single one of her movies, as I am less than hip-and-with-it), but apparently you look sufficiently like her to be mistaken for her at a glance. At least by me.

Aug 24, 2007

Well, I think that essentially they are just about the same haircut, one being pushed behind the ears, the other obviously not pushed behind the ears. I would be careful with bringing in the AB haircut though, the bangs are much shorter and choppier and it sounds as if you definitely want the swoopy bangs.

JB at Twice Five Miles
Aug 24, 2007

I think I vote for the Emily. The Ellen looks great and very sleek and all, but I'm guessing it probably takes a lot of time and effort to get it to look that way, while the Emily seems more day-to-day achievable.

But I have curly hair, so both of these are entirely out of the question for me!

Burning question: How do the bangs stay 'swooped' like that? I cannot imagine how this works.

wood from sweetjuniper
Aug 24, 2007


I don't have any advice to give you, because I never know what I want and I always end up with the same thing, which is fine. After a week or two it's going to be in a ponytail 80% of the time, so that's really what I should say: give me a cut that makes a cute ponytail!

anyway -- bring some pictures, put your trust in jubs, and she'll do a good job. Beware that her cuts take a week or two to be at their best (which is how it should be) so don't freak out at first. Just relax. you are gorgeous and so is your hair.

Aug 24, 2007

This photo of you kind of looks like those above. So while they are fantastic haircuts, it does seem as though you've "been there done that". But why mess with a good thing? Go for it again!

Aug 24, 2007

Oh my gosh! I can so relate to this post!! Whenever I get to this "I want to cut it all off" frame of mind, I can almost hear my wee group of friends groan, "Here she goes again." I get obsessive, to say the least, and e-mail picture after picture of cute hairstyles begging their opinions on each one. But anyway, here is one style that I do like a lot and I think it would suit you. Sorry for the ridiculously long and twisted url, but here goes:

Aug 24, 2007

I was reading MORE (a magazine for women over 50... I don't know why I was reading it NOT IMPORTANT) and I cut out a picture of Ellen Barkin's haircut because I adored it so much. So, I definitely think that is the one to have. For the world!

Aug 24, 2007

Okay, I think you should go for the Gwyneth or the AB Chaco. Short hair will be great on you.
I HATE deciding how to get my hair cut. This is totally a good post...I think we need more like this. =)

Aug 24, 2007

"I realize afterwards that it’s not actually the haircut that I wanted, but rather the face of the person sporting the haircut"

YES! That's exactly my problem! Thanks for helping me figure it out - maybe now I'll stop bringing pictures of Penelope Cruz to the salon.

(I say go for Ellen Barkin. btw)

Aug 24, 2007

Oooooooo I LOVE the Mandy Moore!

Aug 24, 2007

However your hair turns out, it can certainly be made better with a chocolate HobNob. How I long for a little blue can of those babies.

Aug 24, 2007

Not to toot my own horn, or anything, but I am in love with my latest haircut, as it's pretty short in the back, but long enough in the front to pull back into a cute headband look. You can see it here, if you like:

I've never received more compliments on my hair than with this cut. And it's easy! Five minutes to dry, five minutes to straight iron (because I have this weird flippy cowlick on the left side).

In any case, good luck to you. Can't wait to see it!

Aug 24, 2007

I am so unqualified to give advice since my own current haircut was a result of telling my stylist "sort of shoulder length and flippy and layery and NO BANGS." Fortunately, I love it and after I moved the new stylist was able to replicate it pretty accurately.

But I did want to say that I love how the only reference to Sliding Doors I have ever heard anyone make is to that haircut and it surprises me how often I hear it. It was a damn fine cut though.

JB at Twice Five Miles
Aug 24, 2007

Oh, I'm back and I love the Mandy Moore too! I know that wasn't one of the options. Write-in vote?

Burning question #2: What is a chocolate HobNob?

Aug 24, 2007

Is Gwyneth-from-Sliding-Doors-short out of the running, because I think it's a gorgeous cut and I think you have the face for it.

I'm also loving Katie Holm - er, Cruise's new "you don't own me, Tom" haircut.

Between the two above, I'm loving Ellen Barkin's cut but I feel like you may get that disappointed feeling when you leave the salon, all "no one is even going to notice the difference because it's very similar to what I already have." That happened to me yesterday (and, oddly enough, I picked up a Crunchie bar to make myself feel better.)

Nothing But Bonfires
Aug 24, 2007

While I do like the Mandy Moore, it's not quiiiiite as sleek and bobby (Bobby?!) as I wanted. And I do have very fine, very straight hair.

To answer Burning Question #1: To get the bangs to stay so swoopy, you comb them over your forehead when they're wet (hot!) and blowdry them first, raking your fingers through them rather viciously. Then you push them to one side and blowdry the rest of your hair (or if you're me, get lazy and let it air dry.) I'm sure you're supposed to use some sort of product or something.

To answer Burning Question #2: Chocolate HobNobs are only the most delicious English biscuit in the universe. If you have a British store (or a friend making the trip across the pond), you should definitely try and sample one.

Aug 24, 2007

I vote Ellen Barkin! It does look like another version of your current haircut, but then again I think your hair is adorable and every time I look at a picture of you on your blog I think, now, Kristin, why can't your hair be that cute and manageable and less resemble a horse's mane with its unruliness factor and curls that somehow just appeared at random one day after 18 years of stick straight, never had to use a blowdryer locks of perfection?

And I LOVE Chocolate HobNobs. My least favorite thing about moving back to the States from the UK was the absence of HobNobs, McVities (chocolate AND caramel, YUM) and, of course, Cadbury. Sigh.

Aug 24, 2007

Being ballsy in the hair department is not so bad as being hairy in the balls department.

Aug 24, 2007

My take? Go with Ellen.

And you're coming to Ecuador next week! Yay! I so want to welcome you already, I don't care if you're not here just yet :)

Please please please don't do only the typical tourist trail during your visit. Don't know how many days you'll be here, but since I know you will be reporting back everything through Travelocity, take some time to go to the coastal beachy side of the country. It's just beautiful.

Shoot me an email if you need any assitance!

Andrea Jolene
Aug 24, 2007

To the left to the left. It's more feminine and the second looks sort of "boyish" which was one of your first "I don't want this" rules. I'm getting my haircut today. I chopped 3 inches off last time (what? it's kinda of a lot!) - and after a very stressed week - decided I liked it. :) So, I'm going back for the same - a little "clean me up it's getting fuzzy and "big" (as in thickening lions mane) again." good luck. There will be pictures I know :)

PS: LOVE HobNobs! Rated #1 Best London Study Abroad Find 2004!

Aug 24, 2007

Katie Holmes, Katie Holmes, Katie Holmes.

Aug 24, 2007

You can get McVities at Whole Foods and World Market, at least in SC.

I LOVE sliding doors..and the haircut. I'd go with it!

Aug 24, 2007

You've already had the Ellen Barkin 'do haven't you? Or at least something very similar.

I like the Emilty 'do, personally and it's a change. Hair grows back and you'll look gorgeous no matter what because you have that sort of face.

Aug 24, 2007

P.S. Candy Floss by Wilco is an EXCELLENT choice. One of my favs!

Aug 24, 2007

I had the Gwyneth Sliding Doors cut and I LOVED it, even though my hair is wavy and I had to straighten it every 9 seconds. Still--it was a fun cut and got great reactions.

Of the two pictures I like Ellen's better. But maybe only because Emily's has that whole, "I just got out of bed and ran my fingers through it" look that I am incapable of achieving.

Aug 24, 2007

Here's the thing - you are absolutely stunning, so either cut will look fantastic on you. However, I'm partial to the Ellen.


More styling time? Perhaps, but you have the time right now. (Unlike me, who has to get ready while the toddler is yanking on my pants.)

I can't wait to see the results!

Aug 24, 2007

My honest oppinion? You have a face that could handle pretty much any cut!
My 2 cents? I like the AB Chao cut the best for you and totally think you could pull it off!

Carol Snider
Aug 24, 2007

You're already adorable, so whatever you do will be great. I like the Mandy Moore cut in the link someone posted.


Heather B.
Aug 24, 2007

And much like whoorl you would look good with a paperbag on and bald. That said, I like the Ellen Barkin look.

(totally ignoring that part about Ecuador and you not being around next week. tra la la)

Aug 24, 2007

i like the mandy moore or the AB Chao. :)

Aug 24, 2007

I recently had a big hair disaster at a hair stylist who cut the bangs too short and for days i had to pin it up!! so might wanna go a little easy on the bangs and make sure hair stylist is concentrating on them when cutting those bangs, full attention, no distraction!!
good luck

Aug 24, 2007

I like the first one in the update! Please no Natalie, talk about 1996!

Aug 24, 2007

Unfortunately Whoorl learned holy shit from me, her mother. But I will try to use holy guacamole in front of Wito.

Aug 24, 2007

i have the ellen barkin cut right now and love it. the only thing is you have to round brush the ends under everyday if your hair is anything like mine...stick straight and flips out or curls under in various spots if not round blown under. which makes travel all the more interesting if you bring a hairdryer and converter and round brush and hair goo, etc. i'm a fan of the natalie and mandy looks.

Aug 24, 2007

I've met Whoorl's mother; she's totally fine with "holy shit."

Pictures, please, as you leave the salon.

Aug 24, 2007

Speaking of Natalie Portman, I think this pic is so funny Why do David Byrne and his lady friend look so bored??

Aug 24, 2007

Ahhh!!!! The haircut Juliette Binoche had in Chocolat. All swoopy, light, but so sexy beautiful! I can't find a picture of it though. And DO NOT look at the dvd cover and think that's what I'm talking about. Go to the video store, rent it, and put it in tonight to see the hair in all it's glory for the entire movie. You will be awed, and it looks good with a hairband, I swear! She does it! Or maybe it's a doo rag, but well, if it can look good with a doo rag... And if you hate it, well, it will give you some inspiration to go make some thick hot chocolate with a little spice. (and dream about Johnny Depp)

Aug 24, 2007

I'm going to be completely unhelpful here and say that whatever you do will look stunning because you! are stunning! and your hair! is so shiny and lovely! Please believe me, even though I only get a haircut once a year (just a trim, please, and here is my ten dollars).

Aug 24, 2007

Two haircuts ago, I actually took a photo of Ellen Barkin with me to my stylist and said that I wanted her hair. Her hair is fabulous! Especially with the little Ocean's 13 flip thing going on, like this:

You are gorgeous. Whatever you do will be fabulous. Really.

Aug 24, 2007

i like the natalie cut, and i say that only because i always think if i go super-short again, the best way to do it and still feel feminine (for my face, anyway) is to keep the bangs as LONG as possible, the longest part of the cut almost. i think with longer bangs you can still do behind the ears, swoop over the eye, make different parts, etc.

my second choice is the ellen pic.

good luck!!!

Aug 24, 2007

I don't think you will be happy with Ellen Barkin. I think it's going to have too much hair in your face & you will end up pulling it back in barretts and bands, which defeats the whole purpose of getting a short & sassy cut. I think the AB Cho is a definate no too. It looks too well... chopped... like, Mom forgot to put the scissors away, chopped.

Aug 24, 2007

I love the Natalie Imbruglia - who cares if you had it in 1990-whatever, it's retro now! Or not. Either way, it's adorable.

Aug 25, 2007

First of all, your hair always looks lovely. Having said that, do the Ellen! I know exactly what you mean whenever you write about your hair, so I can tell you with reasonable confidence that neither Natalie cut will make you happy--the bangs are too long in the first and you will have to fight to make them look swoopy and French and not sullen-teenagery and hang-downy. In the other, the sides are too short.

I just got a cut like the one in the Ellen picture, and I'm in love with it. Embarrassingly, checking-myself-out-in-car-windows-on-the-walk-to-work in love. So that might be why I'm posting a comment for the first time after reading your blog for over a year.

Good luck!


p.s. Don't be dismayed if you have to put your hair through bangs boot camp for a few days afterwards.

Aug 25, 2007

Um, how cute is it that my mother commented? Love her.

I can't STAND the suspense. Good luck tomorrow!

Aug 25, 2007

I know this won't be too entirely helpful, but I justed wanted to chime in to say: I like all three cuts. You could totally rock any of them.

Aug 25, 2007

No don't do the Natalie Imbruglia one, short side bangs need to be present!

Aug 25, 2007

The first natalie picture is the one I like best of the two, very cute. :)

Aug 25, 2007

I change my hair all the time, but I always come back to the same cut: a modified Sliding Doors Gwen cut. It's cut in close at the neck BUT it has longer, swoopier bangs than the Gwen. It's sort of Mod-ish and makes me look like have cheek bones. The best part about it is if you don't have a blow dryer because you are in Ecuador, the cut looks fine air-dried with some pomade or paste for texture and hold. Also, when you roll out of bed and are late for mountain climbing or turtle watching or whatever people visiting Ecuador do, you really don't have to comb it. A quick finger run-through does the job beautifully.

Aug 26, 2007

(Pacing around anxiously down in Cupertino, waiting, waiting for updated post with photos!)

Aug 26, 2007

i hope you haven't posted pictures yet because you've had a lovely saturday frolicking around san francisco and not because the new cut is terrible.

JB at Twice Five Miles
Aug 26, 2007

Ooh, I am flying through Heathrow next week! I shall scour the airport shops for any sign of Chocolate HobNobs. Hooray!

Aug 26, 2007

i know it's awful short - but i think it's the one for you.....

Aug 27, 2007

I like the brunette a whole lot better -- more modern, more edgy, less "I go to the mall a lot."

Aug 27, 2007

Still hopefully pacing around the computer...leaving town tomorrow for ten days...wondering, will there be pictures before I have to turn off the 'puter? Hmm. By the time I come back, it won't be "new" any more, and they'll be all off in Ecuador (say Hi to the iguanas for me, will you? :-) and, and...

(pouting a little tiny bit now even as I pace)


Aug 27, 2007

Oooh, oooh -- I found the pictures! It's great, Holly!! Absolutely perfect for your face and frame. Go you!!!

Smieszne filmy
Sep 03, 2007

Smieszne filmy...

Smieszne filmy...