The Crunchy And The Smooth

"But all love is strange,
And you have to learn to take the crunchy with the smooth, I suppose."

--Billy Bragg, "Walk Away Renee"

Living Room

The Smooth: I think I finally got the living room in our apartment the way I want it. Or close enough.

The Crunchy: This morning, in broad daylight, I looked out of the bedroom window to see a man LIGHTING A CRACK PIPE on the street below. We live on the first floor, which means the man LIGHTING A CRACK PIPE (and I think I need to tell you again that he was LIGHTING A CRACK PIPE) was approximately ten feet below me. When we're talking about the distance between you and a crack pipe, that's not a lot of feet.

(My sister, assuming that I was being an alarmist when I told her about the man LIGHTING A CRACK PIPE outside my bedroom window, asked "well, how do you know it was a crack pipe?" Dude, first of all, I've seen Half Nelson. Second of all, I used Google Image. Never underestimate the power of Google Image when you need to double-check what a crack pipe looks like. Honestly, how did we ever live without the Internet?)

1
Elgoodo
Aug 06, 2007

This may or may not make you feel better, but I live on a pretty nice street on the Noe/Castro border, but there's a staircase at the top of my street shaded by lovely trees and edging a big patch of dirt and grass where I used to throw a tennis ball for my dog now and then -- until his running unearthed a syringe not 6 inches from my hand. This will either make you think, "Oh, that makes me feel loads better about what happened in my neighborhood," or, "Man, maybe San Francisco is a dump." Come to think of it, you'll probably come down somewhere in between.

2
Nothing But Bonfires
Aug 06, 2007

No, it definitely makes me feel better -- thank you!

3
Jillian
Aug 06, 2007

I could tell you some interesting stories about army housing. It's a wonder what you find on the empty floors ewwww.

4
elise
Aug 06, 2007

Aaand, your living room looks like it came straight out of a magazine. A really trendy, Asian-inspired magazine. Lovely!

5
velocibadgergirl
Aug 06, 2007

Eek! Sorry about the crack pipe (CRACK PIPE!), but take solace in the fact that Elise is right and your living room could easily be in the pages of a classy magazine.

6
chris
Aug 06, 2007

gorgeous living room. Who took all of the photos you have framed on the wall? I love the arrangement.

7
Erin
Aug 06, 2007

I live in a pretty nice neighborhood and I have a crackhead for a neighbor. It happens everywhere I suppose.

8
Wacky Mommy
Aug 06, 2007

Pretty living room. Nice contrast with the mental image of the crack pipe so nearby. We have pitbulls and meth-makers right down the street from us, but luckily for me they don't read blogs so I can write about them all I want.

9
Nothing But Bonfires
Aug 06, 2007

Chris -- Sean took all those photos while we were traveling in Asia last year. Thank you!

10
Chiada
Aug 06, 2007

Love the living room. You have some sweet decorating skills. Good colors and accent pieces.

11
Saucepan Man
Aug 06, 2007

Hmmm, I read the title and, for a moment, thought you were going to tell us about a new dish to rival 'porncake'. The Crunchy and the Smoothie sounded really promising....

(I think you need air-filters on those windows)

12
Jennie
Aug 06, 2007

I love that your first instinct was what mine would have been: run to Google and demand pictoral proof. But, I don't love that you live near crack-pipe lighters. I'm sorry!

13
tiff
Aug 06, 2007

ooh beautiful! I found you via some Blogher clickin and I'm already smitten. This living room is down right perfect.

14
ScottsdaleGirl
Aug 06, 2007

Love your living room!!!

At least it wasn't a tranny hooker giving some guy a blowjob.

Right? Right?

15
Molly
Aug 06, 2007

Stumbled across you today and am smitten. BEAUTIFUL room!

16
Josh
Aug 06, 2007

I always hear it as "but oh, love is strange". More wry, I think.

Huston once smoked crack on a night bus (apparently). I think it was an 'accident'.

17
jen
Aug 06, 2007

ack. Your living room; divine. I live next door to a cop. Put that in your crackpipe and smoke it.

18
Nothing But Bonfires
Aug 06, 2007

Josh, I like your way better.

19
barbie2be
Aug 06, 2007

um... YIKES!

but on the other hand... will you please come and decorate my living room after i finish painting it the color of your couch. and can i have those pillows because that reddish color is our accent color. :)

thanks, you're a doll!

20
LOD
Aug 07, 2007

We haven't seen any crack pipes, but we've seen plenty of cracks. Mostly of the dudes taking leaks between parked cars.

I'm raising my children in an enormous toilet.

21
fancythis
Aug 07, 2007

I've decided that I hate you because you're living room is PERFECT. And by hate I really mean wish I decorated as wonderfully as you.

22
manda
Aug 07, 2007

How did I ever live without google image? Seriously. Crack Pipe in that proximity = frightening.

23
Melanie
Aug 07, 2007

At least if the crack pipe guy looks in your window, he will be impressed with your Mad Decorating Skillz. Maybe you could lead him to a crack-free, Ikea-filled life. Your living room is gorgeous, and I'd take a crack pipe at my window to have my couch look like that any day.

24
Caitlyn
Aug 07, 2007

Holy crap, your living room is lovely. If it is any help, I used to live in this beautiful, quaint town in Maryland. I had a two bedroom place with a full back yard that my puppy romped in every morning. One day I was driving home from a friend's place when I saw a group of boys, probably about 20 or so all in white t-shirts kicking something. I thought that they were playing soccer in the street or something until I realized that they weren't kicking someTHING, they were kicking someONE. I jumped out of my car to help the men (yes, jumped into a gang fight) and realized that the man had been stabbed in the stomach. I'm pressing on the man's stomach while screaming at these apparent gang members until a friend happened to see it while driving home and called the cops.
A year before that a man was shot over drugs three blocks from my place.

25
GHD
Aug 07, 2007

Any distance to a crack pipe that can be described in FEET is too close.

You living room is lovely! I love the collection of photos on the wall and the sofa looks so deliciously inviting.

26
christina
Aug 08, 2007

Hey, is that the LACK coffee table from IKEA?

27
Nothing But Bonfires
Aug 08, 2007

Yes!

28
Trigger
Aug 09, 2007

Just so you might feel a wee bit better - meth is a whole lot cheaper and more easily obtainable than crack rocks, but can be smoked out of the same paraphernalia. So it's entirely possible that the character outside your window was smoking METH in his CRACK PIPE.

Not sure if that helps. ;)

29
Trigger
Aug 09, 2007

And for the record, I only know that because I had a similar close-proximity with a crack pipe at a bus stop on my way to work one morning - when I called my city-wise older brother flipped out about it, that's what he told me....