This Is Your Life

In case you were thinking about moving to San Francisco, or visiting it, or missing it, or in case you were suddenly struck by a bolt of jealousy when you remembered that we live in a place where this is part of Sean's daily commute to work...

...I would like you to know one thing. No, wait, please get out a pen and write this down in the records because this has never happened to me in my life before and I'd like to be reminded of it some day when I feel like I'm missing this place, with its H&Ms and its exceptional Vietnamese food and its proximity to an IKEA. Are you ready? Write this down. You're going to love it. Here we go: Yesterday was the first day of August. AND I WORE TIGHTS.

Yeah, your 80% humidity doesn't look too bad now, does it?

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The other day, I met Sean at the grocery store after work so we could pick up a few things for dinner (a package of Hersheys Nuggets with Toffee and Almonds was one of those things, DON'T JUDGE), and we walked around the whole store, putting things into the basket, which means we must have been in the store a good twenty minutes before we made it over to the check-out line. And as we were standing in the check-out line (we always choose the one with the bagger whose nametag reads Ting Ting Lay, because, well, really, wouldn't you?), I noticed that not one BUT TWO of Sean's shirt buttons had accidentally come undone. It was this shirt:

...the one I bought him in H&M in the hopes of making him look like the sort of 1970s-era guy you always see in the corner of your parents' old photos and kind of wish you could have dated (you know, if you hadn't been A ZYGOTE and everything), but also sort of like Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain, and ANYWAY, the two buttons that were undone were in ADDDITION to the top two, that was SUPPOSED to be undone, and therefore my boyfriend had been walking around the Cala Foods for twenty minutes with FOUR OF HIS SHIRT BUTTONS UNDONE, which is WAY TOO MANY SHIRT BUTTONS and WAY TOO MUCH CHEST EXPOSURE, and oh my god, if that isn't enough to make one break out the caps lock, WHAT IS?

Ting Ting Lay, for the record, thought it was hilarious.

And Sean did say "well, it could have been a whole lot worse. It could have been you."

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Speaking of Sean, why are boys so weird about having dinner with other boys? When Sean told me he was going to have dinner with his friend Barry tonight, the one who we went to see get married in San Diego, I asked him where he was going to go. And he said "I don't know, probably just Bang San." And I said "but we went to Bang San on Sunday!" And he said "yeah, but I want to go somewhere really low-key. He said he wanted Asian food and so I was thinking of suggesting that Vietnamese place I went with my co-workers on Polk Street, but then......eh, I don't know." And I said "what? Why wouldn't you suggest that Vietnamese place you went with your co-workers on Polk Street?" And he said "It's just....well, it has tablecloths and polite waiters and a wine list and stuff. What if he thought I was trying to ROMANCE him?"

And I said "Sean, why would he think you were trying to ROMANCE him? Apart from the fact that he got married last month and you've had the same girlfriend for the last eleventy billion years, you've been friends since at least 1998; I mean, if you were going to ROMANCE him, wouldn't you have done it by now?"

And he said "Yeah, I know. Still, I think I'll just suggest Bang San."

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Speaking of Sean AGAIN, the boy went to five baseball games last week, TWO OF THEM BY HIMSELF. Next week he plans to go to three more. I swear to god, our cats are never going to be lawyers or doctors, because Sean will have spent their college funds trying to be there when Barry Bonds broke the home run record.

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Oh and check it out! I met the Sweet Junipers! I had to try very hard not to pick their perfect child up and put her in my purse and take her back home with me, so sweet and well-behaved was she, but since it was crammed full to bursting already with all the Bliss products I'd, um, "liberated" from the housekeeping trolley (those Bliss products are so oppressed! The man is keeping them down! Someone had to do it!), she had a lucky escape. THIS TIME, AT LEAST.

(I swiped this photo from Leah's Flickr Stream. Did you know how easy it is to do that? It's pretty easy. They should really make it harder. But thanks, Leah!)