"If You Leave The Coffee Pot Low, You Fail At <em>Life"</em>

My mother once told me that one of the best things about getting married and moving in with my father was that she didn't have to write her name on the food in the fridge anymore.

Although I haven't lived with roommates for a few years now, I do remember the myriad dramas that would arise from the accidental purloining of the last few inches of milk or the suspicious disappearance of someone's only poppyseed bagel. If you could somehow take a time machine back into the various kitchens of the various houses I shared with university and post-university friends over the years, you'd see a mass of black marker covering every item in the refrigerator and cupboard, names scrawled in proprietary capital letters, and usually accompanied by multiple exclamation marks.

When things got bad---dishes weren't done, toilet seats weren't put down, bills weren't paid---we left notes on the community whiteboard, notes that couldn't help but hint at the deep irritation the author of them was trying to stifle. You know the deal: "hey guys, if you wouldn't MIND wiping the countertops when you've finished cooking, that would be great. I'm sure you haven't NOTICED that they're disgusting, what with being so busy and all, and maybe you didn't hear me when I talked about it in the kitchen the other day, but if we could all keep things clean around here, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks! Smiley face!"

Now that I'm living with Sean, our chalkboard is more likely to hold a loved-up e.e. cummings quote than a pissed-off missive, so imagine my delight when I stumbled across PassiveAgressiveNotes.com. This website is pure genius, and I have spent the better part of my evening reveling in every single one of these horribly wicked (real life!) notes left by roommates, co-workers, and apartment dwellers. I particularly like the one that says "Those that don't fill up the ice trays AFTER emptying them should be taken out and shot." I'm also a big fan of the rather poignant "Whoever drank all the milk last night is a git. You stopped four people from having breakfast before five hours of lectures without a break. It was bought last night for that purpose, and the Coco Pops weren't even yours."

The sad thing is, given half a chance, I probably would have written both of them myself.

(The title, by the way, comes from my absolute favorite one on the site.)