Now That's Just Cruel

Of all the things I miss about my fancy gym in Charleston---which, let's not forget, bills itself memorably as "Charleston's only upscale adult health club"---this is it: not the Aveda products in the showers, not the scrupulously clean machines, not the breathtaking view of Charleston harbor. Not the smoothie bar, not the occasional parties with excellent snacks, not the validated parking, not the welcome lack of pervy men, not the steam showers, nor the individual saunas, nor the scale in the women's locker room that was always tipped five pounds in your favor.

No, what I miss most about my fancy gym in Charleston now that I attend the grubby 24-Hour Fitness in the basement of my office building, is the television set on the wall that was always tuned to "VTV," a sort of faux MTV that ran only in the gym and consisted mostly of Bon Jovi and Joan Osborne videos. Because VTV, being internal, had no commercials. And what that meant, of course, was that when you were sweating it out on the elliptical machine with one eye half on the episode of Judge Judy playing on the gym's overhead TV, you didn't have to look up---sweat coursing down the backs of your lycra-ed knees, the only thing to look forward to a swig from a lukewarm water bottle---and suffer through the indignity of an ad for Sara Lee Individually Wrapped Chocolate Fudge Brownie Cups, in all their chewy, gooey, chocolately, calorific glory.

Screw the steam showers, I will pay good money to belong to a gym where I don't have to see commercials for baked goods when I'm trying to work out.

Wacky Mommy
Jun 18, 2007

Thank you!

Jun 18, 2007

I actually watch the Food Network when I'm working out at the gym. Weird, I know.

Jun 18, 2007

I know! Although it's the greasy ones that get me. Anything featuring french fries or some sort of chicken strips and buttery toast drenched in gravy.

Ugh. SO unfair.

Jun 18, 2007

My gym plays Food Network, too -- Good Eats while you're on the treadmill is just not fair!

Jun 19, 2007

Argghh! The last thing I want to think about, when working out, is food. I tend to watch CNN, or close my eyes and listen to the iPod.

Jun 19, 2007

That has to be some sort of abuse punishable by law. You can't be forced to look at brownies while you sweat! Next they'll start handing out cookie samples so that they can keep your ass fat and themselves in business. (Not that your ass is fat, Holly, that's the universal "you". Or else, my ass, which is totally fat.)

Jun 19, 2007

I recently wrote a whole post about watching the Food Network: Battle of the Wedding Cakes (or something) for a full hour on the treadmill. Note to self: Don't do that.

Jun 20, 2007

You can always join the Sports Club at the Four Seasons on Market. I used to belong to that gym and I was quite pleased that they had individual screens attached to the excercise equiptment. There weren't many channels, but enough so that you could choose to watch something like CNN or Three's Company. No Aveda shower products though. And you will have to choose a machine that faces away from the windows (Eppler's bakery is clearly visible across the street.)

Jun 20, 2007

My gym has a Coke machine and a candy vending machine. It's total BS.

Jun 25, 2007

Friday Weddings:

"Hello I'd like to hire your venue for my wedding on Saturday the DATE of MONTH please".

"Certainly, that will be $10000 please"

"You what!?"

"Well it's only $3000 to hire it on a weekday..."

Ta dah!