Multiple Choice

Appropriate responses to our cranky French neighbor who came down to our apartment on Saturday evening and dourly said the following: "You leeeeesten your music too loud! I have a 'eadache. I am tired. I 'ear it when I am trying to sleep."

a) "Are you kidding? It's six o'clock in the evening! We're sitting on the sofa, having a glass of wine, and chatting to each other. How can our music be too loud if we're TALKING TO EACH OTHER OVER IT?"

b) "Lady, we know loud. We really, really, really know loud. This is not loud."

c) "And besides, it's not like it's techno or anything! It's just some low-key white-boy geek rock with a few acoustic guitars and some deliberately sensitive lyrics. This cannot possibly offend you. It barely even has a beat, let along a bass line."

d) "I mean, honestly! I've heard louder music in an elevator!"

e) "And also, you live in an apartment building, where people occasionally play their music at six o'clock in the evening when they're trying to unwind. We're not talking Dance Party USA at one in the morning here! Take a Tylenol and go buy a house in the suburbs!"

f) "Oh sure, sorry about that. We'll turn it down."

g) "Oh sure, sorry about that. We'll turn it down," followed, upon the closing of the door, with the mocking repetition of "you leeeeesten your music too loud!" for the rest of the evening, soon accompanied, also, by "you drink your beer too loud!" and "you eat your Thai food too loud!" and "you clean your teeth too loud!" and "you write your blog too loud!" Because god knows, she and her bionic ears could probably hear all that too.

Approriate or not, I think you know which response we picked.

Jun 05, 2007

I sure hope you picked the last because it made me snort with laughter.

Jun 05, 2007

a friend gave me the link to your blog, and I just wanted to say I quite enjoy your writing.

and cranky french neighbors.

Jun 05, 2007

i've been reading this blog long enough to know that you and sean are definitly "g" type of people!

Jun 05, 2007

it's gotta be g...because that's 100% what i'd do!

Jun 05, 2007

I am going to go with G because 1) it made me snort out loud in a business cafe at a boring conference with laughter and b) that is exactly what my lovely husband and I would do.

Then every once in a while I would rebel and turn the music up waaaay loud just to be annoying...

Thespian Libby
Jun 05, 2007

Sacre' Bleu!!!! Refer her to "I've Got Your Miami Sound Machine..."

Jun 05, 2007


Of course. No other answer would do.

Just out of curiousity...what white-boy-geek-rock were you listening to? I'm a huge fan of soft acoustics with deliberately insightful lyrics...

Katie (The Yap)
Jun 05, 2007

That is so hilarious! One time our neighbors called the cops on us for loud music. And, it was only us two. The cop was kind of confused as he was looking past us into the house for the keg and loud partiers. Of course, that might explain my hearing loss....

Jun 05, 2007

I'd go with option G myself! And next time I have to complain that my upstairs neighbors too loud late at night, I will use a French accent to do it :)

Jun 05, 2007

oh, i so would have picked "g" so i know you did too. :)

Jun 05, 2007

You two are definitely 'G' people. Aye yi yi... that's the crappy part about apartment living.

Jun 05, 2007

Yeah, had to be g. Apartment life can suck. Fortunately our apartment walls seem to be somewhat soundproof.

Jun 05, 2007

Definitely "G"

Because that is what we all would do. The first time she complained. The next time I would be going with option B or C. The third time she complained I would hit her on the head with a baguette.

Jun 05, 2007

Hee! I am wondering which white-boy geek band, too, since I am enamored of the original white geek, Elvis Costello. Gotta love those misunderstood, angry young men.

Jun 05, 2007

OH YEA! I forgot to leave a comment on that post where you mentioned returning from the Arcade Fire Concert stating how jealous i was. I am SOOOOOOOOO jealous! Actually SOOOOOOOOO doesn't even begin to describe how jealous i am!

I loved arcade fire, just listening to thier cds. But after seeing them live a couple of years ago, i FELL INLOVE! Win Buttler's intensity sends shivers down my spine! They played 2 shows in Toronto a few weeks ago, but both concerts sold out in seconds...*sigh*

So how was it? Who opened? (when i saw them, The Stars opened - another one of my most favourite bands). Did they interact with the audience? The time i saw them they walked through the audience left the venue(like a marching band), and came back for the most awesome version of WAKE UP i've ever heard! *sigh*

Did i mention how jealous i am?

Chaos Control
Jun 05, 2007

I vote for leaving a package of ear plugs in her mailbox.

Jun 06, 2007

Well without a doubt, G, because you're nice people. Who are also quite funny. Make sure you tell her, "You eat your crepes too loud! and "You breathe too loud!"

Jun 06, 2007

PS Who is asleep at 6 pm?

Wacky Mommy
Jun 06, 2007

I recommend a bit of NWA. Straight Outta Compton. Which is what I played loud turned up to 11 the other day out the kitchen window when the neighbor kid refused to walk out to the driveway and turn off his car alarm.

Followed NWA with Jane's Addiction.

Then the Dixie Chicks.

I confused him, if nothing else.

Jun 06, 2007

You very politely didn't tell her where to put the aspirin for her 'eadache. "G" was definitely the way to go. In New York, every apartment lease says 80% of the floor has to be covered with carpeting or rugs. Suggest she try that, along with directions on where to insert the aspirin.

little white liar
Jun 06, 2007

Given all of the nationalities involved, you could have also gone all, "You teamed up and defeated me in the Revolution too loud!" Too history-nerdy? Probably.

Jun 06, 2007


Jun 06, 2007

GGGGGGGGG I wonder! H sounds kinda good too though Jemima! :)

Terri B.
Jun 06, 2007

Did I ever need that laugh! Thank you for some wonderful Wednesday afternoon entertainment.

Jun 07, 2007

Zees ees total, ow you say it? Bullsheet! Zere is no need to mock ze way that we speek. Oui, ze french do not like zis loud music. Mais zoot alors! What does one expect from...comment dit-on? Surrender Monkeys, no?

Jun 07, 2007

you know what i forgot to tell ya, is that sunday morning, she and her chitty chatty husband were up earlier than me making coffee, listening to NPR really loud. I ALMOST went up there just for kicks!! Thanks again for having me..Charlie was so sweet. Great to see you guys..


I wish had made her your bitch, and added, "now get upstairs and bake me some baguettes and some pain au chocolat, before I sublease to a six-member tranny tuba band."

Jun 11, 2007

Of course the last one - which is the way I'd have done it, too.