Things To Do In Target When You're Bored

First, let me clarify: I am hardly ever bored in Target. I am, after all, human. There are far too many racks of cheaply-made skirts in Target for one to ever get bored (I bought this one this weekend! In "Tendril Green"!), and also the candy selection is fairly bitchin'.

However. When one has visited two Targets in less than seven days---say, if one's mother has just revealed herself to be a raging Targetoholic---one can start to find the merchandise pretty repetitive. (PS: Just so you know, the Target in Novato sucks. I ended up loving the Tendril Green skirt so much that I decided to buy it in Chesterfield Navy---I swear to god, I would give my pancreas to have dinner with the person who comes up with these names---and the Target in Novato did not have it! Women of Novato, why have you bought all the Chesterfield Navy skirts? I bet that gets pretty embarrassing when you all run into each other at the grocery store! Return the Chesterfield Navy skirts immediately! Particularly those of you who wear a size six! (Or eight. Or four. I can make it work.)

So when one is bored at Target---say, if one's mother is in the dressing room and has been for the last seventy three hours---I've found there's only one thing to do. For this you will need a willing accomplice, easy access to the hat department, and a camera to record each moment for posterity. Also, you may need to know how to cook steak and give backrubs, so that you can later atone for the embarassment you have caused the willing accomplice by posting his pictures on the internet. If you can place a check mark next to all of these things, I think you might be in business.

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Which is your favorite? Personally, I'm a big fan of look number three. I call that one "hot." No, wait, I think I meant "super hot."

1
Kate
May 16, 2007

I think you have successfully turned your man into Britney Spears.

2
Melanie
May 16, 2007

I like the green one! What is the name of the color? I hope you checked, because after Chesterfield Navy and Tendril Green, anything that shade must have a really kick-ass name.

3
Horrible Warning
May 16, 2007

I have to say that I love #6. But that may be because I have an unhealthy interest in the Luke character on Gilmore Girls, which incidentally just aired its last episode tonight (*sniff*).

Yep, I dig scruffy backwards hat guy.

And am overly emotional about TV.

4
melanie.in.utah
May 16, 2007

#1 looks a bit like something Kevin Federline would wear. I'm rather partial to #5 though. Looks vaguely Cuban.

5
sgazzetti
May 16, 2007

I vote for number four. Because it looks like his out-of-frame hands might be holding an RC Cola and a pickled pig's foot.

6
annie
May 16, 2007

YES! THANK YOU - the Target in Novato IS terrible. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks so. I made this discovery after hearing from colleagues about the wonders of Target's maternity section. Um...yeah....it's a *wonder* why I even bothered. I still go, almost weekly, for necessities; however the two in Daly City are more worth your while.

7
Chiada
May 16, 2007

#3 is awesome - that was my first thought. But I LOVE the look in his eye in #5. Then again, #4 reminds me of a quote from the movie Splash (you've seen Splash, haven't you? Oh, come on!): "Yup, it's the moron twins." Not that Sean is in any way shape or form a moron.

What a guy to put up with all that. I'm the one who would be running away and hiding if my guy pulled the camera out on me.

8
laurenkie
May 16, 2007

so...much...of...funny.... NUMBER THREE!

9
geepeemum
May 16, 2007

#3 definitely. I love that people in America put on-line reviews of clothes. Books, yes. CDs, OK. Clothes? How weird is that. And "my husband actually used the word adorable when he saw me in this"???? in a review? That's just adorable.

10
Sheila
May 16, 2007

That last one scares me a little.

11
Kelli
May 16, 2007

What a good sport Sean is.
I spent almost 1/2 of my Sunday in Target and while I found 2 cute dresses and a lovely polka dotted skirt (for $14.99) I did not stumble upon the cute Tendril Green skirt! How did I miss that?!

12
CharlestonGirl
May 16, 2007

This was inspired hilarity! :) #5 is my favorite, you must imagine a bit of a bad B movie German accent "You have been very naughty!". Yea, I know, I need help. Thanks for starting my day off with a fit of the giggles!

13
Diane
May 16, 2007

Nothing says 'super hot' like a man in a straw hat! I snorted out loud at my desk when I saw the pictures of Sean at Target. I also am a big fan of number 5.

Thanks for the Wednesday giggle!

14
Superfantastic
May 16, 2007

I have been strongly considering the tendril green skirt over my past several visits to Target. I think I'll go ahead and spring for it. I also realized that, thanks to a wedding rehearsal, I can totally justify this: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_7/602-7426915-8902265?ie=U...

15
barbie2be
May 16, 2007

three is cute, but i like five. he has that devil may care look in his eye. :)

16
reluctant housewife
May 16, 2007

I like #3 because his pose is so similar to the one of the professional model in the background. He could be in pictures!

17
Ashley
May 16, 2007

I actually like #4 the best...but perhaps that is because I have a thing for surfer guys and that is what this hat reminds me of.

Either way, Sean is a good sport. And good for you for biding your time in Target without spending $200 or more. Because I? Am unable to accomplish that.

18
Stacey
May 16, 2007

So I'm watching Australia's Next Top Model and I swear I thought it was Sean taking the photos...not this guy. Perfect comment for this blog.

20
liz
May 16, 2007

am i alone in my irrational fear of stray hairs and head lice? i don't know what sort of clientele frequent the novato target and try on the entire hat selection, outside of sean of course, but i'm getting a little itchy just looking at the pictures and thinking about who might have tried them on before him.

21
smoness
May 16, 2007

liz, you are so not alone. That was my first thought, too! The pictures are rather fun and quirky and I enjoyed them immensely... but, but, the hats! They could be diseased.

22
Jane
May 17, 2007

Trying on hats in a store is the BEST way to get lice.

Don't mean to be a kill joy. It happened to me.

23
msdarby
May 17, 2007

I was unaware of the truck-driving redneck element in Hawaii. Good to know. And, of course, my vote for best look. (#4, I believe)

But, I am a sucker for, uh, well...I live in the South.

24
ali
May 17, 2007

whatever....we don't have target. i'm hating you just a little bit right now... :)

25
sfshar
May 17, 2007

The Novato Target is the ONLY one I go to. I suddenly feel like I need to expand my Target horizons! Thank you for the insight!

26
hank
May 17, 2007

Someone is just a leeetle, teeensy-weeensy bit in love with the words "tendril green", aren't they?

I mean, who wouldn't be?

27
Chiada
May 18, 2007

I don't know if you did this on purpose, but when I read the title to this post, I instantly thought of a song line:

"Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead"

by the late Warren Zevon.

So I read the title out loud to Hub-E and asked him if it made him think of anything, such as a song line.

He said, yeah, Warren Zevon's "things to do in Denver when you're dead".

"Hah! I'm not alone!", I thought. So, Holly, I was just wondering if you had thought of that too as you were typing the title, or if it is just a fluke, pointing to the fact that I am officially an old married lady now who has the same tastes as her husband?

28
Anna
May 19, 2007

Five is my personal fave - dashing yet funky at the same time.

29
Nothing But Bonfires
May 20, 2007

Chiada, I think I was thinking more of the 1995 Mike Meyers movie of the same name but yeah, I was definitely referencing Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead...