Now Qualified To Answer All Questions About Bouquets

Alright, enough whining already---and by whining, I mean my whining. Is there anything more irritating than a person feeling sorry for herself? Yesterday, after the afternoon's allotment of self-pity was over, I did what I always do when I'm feeling a little down in the dumps in a strange city, and went and spent a large amount of money on British chocolate. What, you didn't know that sugar and fat and artificial flavorings aren't bad for you when they're manufactured across the pond? Shame on you! Why, you can have as many Crunchies as you like, my friend, if you buy them at three times what you'd normally pay for them back home. It's science. All the calories just drain from them somewhere during the import process, I think. Possibly they fall out into the Atlantic, who knows?

Regardless, I meant to tell you about this next thing yesterday, but I was so consumed with my subject of the moment---Why Birthdays Suck And How You Can Make Them Suck Less, Oh, Wait, You Can't---that I couldn't bear to be positive about anything. Now, however, I am all hopped up on E numbers and excitement, and look! Just look!

southern weddings

See?

Do you know what that is? That's the fruit of my labor! That's the product of my toil! That's the reason I couldn't go out on six consecutive weekends during April and May last year and also why I know way more about butler cards than you would ever deem imaginable, OR EVEN LEGAL. I know more about butler cards than the butler knows about butler cards. Also, I am highly qualified on the subject of the boutonniere. Any questions?

I'm immensely proud of the book, and how it seemed to come together from a bunch of words that I wrote at Sean's drawing table in our old living room in Charleston, gazing wistfully outside at the brilliant sunshine and turning down invitations left, right, and center, to something tangible and pretty and available on Amazon, something that was MAILED TO OPRAH and apparently well-recieved. Because I was working on it during the time I was getting ready to pack up all my stuff in Charleston and drive it across the country and then travel around Southeast Asia for six months, I am also pretty proud of the fact that I didn't have a nervous breakdown at some point, too. At the very last minute, it was decided that we should add another chapter, and this chapter I wrote FROM THE U-HAUL, with my laptop balanced precariously on my knees as Sean sped us through Kansas and Colorado. You will never know which chapter that was and I will never tell you. But maybe it will be the one where the typing goes a bit bumpy.

So if you see it in a bookshop, you should flip through it if you have a second, because it's absolutely beautiful inside. Which is really nothing to do with me as I was just the writer, but really, who among us can't admit that their day would be brightened just a little by a picture of CNN's illustrious Dr. Sanjay Gupta getting married? I mean, really! Does he have the kindest eyes in show business or what? Page 125, if you're interested.

1
Adele
Feb 02, 2007

See? You're already a published author.

And you have the kindest eyes in Blogdom.

Congrats!

(Love the Crunchies...please send Double Deckers...)

2
jaz
Feb 02, 2007

Beautiful book, Ms. Burns!

There will be many more in the future, yes? Perhaps one or more travels-in-Asia inspired?

3
lisa
Feb 02, 2007

Congratulations! Oh, and if I have questions about butler cards (and who doesn't?) can I e-mail you or are you going to be all, "Buy the book, cheapskate!"?

4
Melanie
Feb 02, 2007

Oh, wow, that's so awesome!! Congratulations!

5
Sam
Feb 03, 2007

Ooohhh, maybe you could have a wedding advice column - you could be like Amalah and makeup, except your specialty could be weddings!

The book looks gorgeous. I can't wait to check it out at a store near me, and hopefully it will be displayed prominently as I am in the South. The cover is really cute - love the flower collar for the dog!

6
Daily Tragedies
Feb 03, 2007

Congrats! And don't worry too much about the birthday...27 was my best year yet. And nobody expects you to save the world until you're 29 or 30 anyway! You've got time.

7
meritt
Feb 03, 2007

YEAH! Congrats!!!!!!!!

8
redzils
Feb 03, 2007

Beautiful!

Also, what are butler cards? Obviously my education has been sorely lacking.

9
Aliza
Feb 03, 2007

WOW! congrats on the first of many, i am sure!

10
Aliza
Feb 03, 2007

do you get a picture in the back leaf where you get to mention all the amazing things you've done in your 26 years?

11
Lissa
Feb 03, 2007

Congrats! That is so awesome. I'm very happy for you.

12
Meepers
Feb 03, 2007

Butler cards are KEY, Redzils, KEY. And I'm only Southern...California. Holly, that is a great looking cover and now I'm going to go and look/buy it and (best bit) I can WRITE IT OFF AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE. For my business. Yesss! Doggie floral collar v. cute - I trust those are organically grown non-toxic garden roses?

PS. Gupta's HoTT.

13
Sara
Feb 03, 2007

Speeding through Kansas whilst writing on a laptop is the best way to get through that state. It's a looooonnng drive. The book is a beauty. Congratulations!

14
smoness
Feb 03, 2007

That's awesome! Being southern myself, I'm definitely going to have to check it out. =)

15
citywendy
Feb 03, 2007

That's great -- congrats!

16
Meg
Feb 03, 2007

Brilliant, Holly. Huge congrats!

17
sgazzetti
Feb 03, 2007

I totally read that as BUTTER cards. And was all, like, so now they're making cards out of BUTTER? Sign me up.

Still holding out for the BACON cards, though.

Congratulations. Your name in print looks even better when it's on a picture of a book on the internet vs. just on the internet.

18
gina in sc
Feb 04, 2007

I am sooo proud of you!! i will buy the book and display it on my coffee table!!!!!!!!! woohoo holly!!!!!!!!!!

19
velocibadgergirl
Feb 04, 2007

Congrats!

20
Sheila
Feb 04, 2007

I, too, read it as BUTTER cards, only instead of thinking they were made of butter, like sgazzetti, I thought you had to have cards which explained the butter at every table. As if the butter was somehow special, out of the ordinary butter or something. So I thought, "Well, I didn't have butter cards! I didn't even serve special butter which needed explanation! What kind of hick wedding did I have, anyway? Will Holly ever let me read here again? I'm from Wisconsin, for Pete's sake! WHY DON'T I KNOW ABOUT THE SPECIAL BUTTER?!?"

And then I read on a bit, realized my error, and felt much better about myself and my wedding. Although I still don't know what butler cards are.

Well done on the book. If I ever have to get married again I will totally use it for reference.

21
meredith
Feb 05, 2007

Congrats Holly! I'm glad you finally got to see the book - look for it in Southern Living! :)

22
juliloquy
Feb 07, 2007

You'll be happy to know that the book is displayed prominently at the University of Pennsylvania bookstore (which is run by Barnes & Noble). It was propped up on an easel on a table in the main walkway. It's lovely--well done!

And Dr. Sanjay Gupta, well, raaawwwrr. Maybe I'll meet him in a future life, if I'm lucky enough to avoid being reincarnated as a goat.