Because "The Weekly Nerdly" Just Wasn't Catchy Enough

I've been meaning to tell you this for a while, but for the last few months I've been writing a column on online culture for a paper back in Charleston. The column is called The Weekly Geekly and you will remember that this very site was, at one point, featured in it, and the timing was awful because not only had I just had a fight with a man in a Wal-Mart parking lot, but then I'd gone right out and picked up some second-hand lawn furniture from the side of the road. And this was the week my blog was chosen to be mentioned in the local press! Hi, Mum, hi, Dad! You must be so proud!

Anyway, the guy who used to write The Weekly Geekly moved to Florida or Virginia or somewhere, so now every Wednesday sees a new column from yours truly. I doubt very much that anyone actually reads this column, since it's buried right in the middle of the paper and is virtually inaccessible from the website, unless you really know what you're looking for, but I'm having fun writing it all the same, because now when I spend hours online doing absolutely nothing at all, I can write it down as "research" in my obsessively anal-retentive List Of Things To Do Today, whereas before it was just plain "screwing around."

This week I take on the Craigslist swindlers. Those Craigslist swindlers are going down, man.

"You know those scams you're always reading about on the internet and doing your best to avoid? Like not replying to Heriberto T. Hendrix, for example, when he e-mails you about your awesome million-dollar lottery win? Well, now you've got another one to worry about — particularly if, like me, you're houseproud (or stupid) enough to put pictures of your apartment up on the internet. (But it was so clean! I had to show someone!)"

1
Erica
Jan 17, 2007

Are you getting paid for this? Also, please don't name your child Heriberto.

2
Nothing But Bonfires
Jan 17, 2007

Why, yes I am. I don't write for free! (Oh wait, I do. It's called a blog.)

3
wwcutie
Jan 17, 2007

So the former columnist moved to Florida or Virginia and abandoned his post, but you were in Singapore, then moved to California, and they're still letting you write about Charleston?

4
Erica
Jan 17, 2007

At least she's getting paid! I was thinking the geography thing was a bit off too, but if they're sending a check, don't question it has always been my motto.

5
Aliza
Jan 17, 2007

my favourite craigstlist categorty is missed connections because find it funny, sad and romantic at the same time. i mean it *must* be fate if you saw the love of your life, didn't do anything about it, later regretted it and so you wrote a posting knowing that chances were slim that she would check, but what if? What If she DOES check?!? And she *does* check, because she saw you too, in your black shoes, black jacket and blue jeans, and knew you were the one she was looking for all her life. *rolls eyes*

but it would be romantic if that did happen in real life.

6
Cora
Jan 17, 2007

Ooooh, so that means you won't be posting pics of your new place anytime soon, doesn't it? Too bad, the tiny spot by the window looked cute... the elephant chair thing is just brilliant.

7
DM
Jan 17, 2007

Wait, wait, wait. There's actually a missed connections category? Well, obviously this is where my true love has been posting, trying to connect with me. I mean, he has to be somewhere, right?

Seriously, Holly, you are amazingly funny and I am glad you are getting paid for this. I've read two of the articles so far and I can't believe you didn't tell us this before. Sheesh.

8
jaz
Jan 17, 2007

I read your column, Holly! I think that it is the second best column in the entire paper.

It would be number one, of course, but there are some rather catchy profiles in that "In the Neighborhood" column from time to time...

9
geofftech
Jan 17, 2007

jaz... now would that be "jason with a z", per chance? :-) Neighbourhood column, indeed...

10
Diane
Jan 17, 2007

Hmm, Heriberto. An interesting choice as a name, I can see it now... He would be getting in fights all the time because kids would make fun of him, giving himself a cool nickname and hating it when is Grandma calls him by his real name in front of his friends; hating the first day of school when his new teacher calls his name out and all the kids make fun of him (again); finding a girl who thinks Heriberto is a cool name and calls him that in front of her friends and he likes her too much to tell her to lay off; having to use his real name when he says his wedding vows.

Gah - the poor child is in for a lifetime of torture. However it is memorable and if he is as good looking as the two of you - it will become all the rage and everyone will want to name their child Heriberto.

11
Nothing But Bonfires
Jan 17, 2007

I wouldn't call him Heriberto. I'd call him Heriberto T. Hendrix. All or nothing, baby.

12
Chiada
Jan 18, 2007

My husband once picked up off the side of the street (before we were married) a hideous chair: old crumbling red velvet, with cream painted wood legs that were all dinged up, the seat was about 12" off the ground (short legs) and then it had a really super high back, and was very square-ish. He thought it was the awesomest thing because it was so unique. Um, how 'bout "ew-nique?" And in bachelor fashion, he'd use the chair to drape his clothes on instead of hanging them up. (Note: he also used the handle of his vacuum cleaner to drape clothes on...yeah.)

So one day I had the whim to tear the fabric off of it (which came off in bits and pieces and the foam underneath was all crumbly) so I could reupholster it... after he gave the go ahead. Then I never reupholstered it and it sat around all ugly for a long time.

Then we moved around for awhile and it came to live in a storage unit. Finally, when we bought our house and were moving stuff out of the storage unit, hubby and I had a fight and, in his anger, he smashed the chair into tiny bits and splinters. Bye bye ugly chair!

I wish we could find something as cool as your outdoor furniture on the side of the road.

13
Gretchen
Jan 18, 2007

Read some of the Weekly Geekly archive . . . is it true you're not on MySpace? Heck, even I'M on there, and you should have heard my 22-year-old howl with outrage when she figured that out. "Mom! EWWW!" Like I was using it to meet 17-year-olds (which, as far as I can tell, IS its main function.

14
Dawn S
Jan 18, 2007

Your first born's name made me snort coffee when I read the article. I just stumbled onto your website, it's great. But you've left me nonplussed since I'm looking for a new house via Craigslist and 4info alerts. Guess that means no accepting offers from any deaf-mute teachers, thanks for the warning.

15
Erica
Jan 18, 2007

I totally thought of this post last night when I was flipping channels and on WGN they were talking about a plastic surgeon trying to barter surgery for some NFL playoff tickets for this weekend's game on Craig's List. I immediately thought it was some nut job that would take the tickets, anesthetize the person, and later the person would wake up in a dark alley with scotch tape pulling their nose up and their eyes back, then they'd look n a mirror and see "so long SUCKER" written backwards on their forehead while the nut job was sitting in their expensive seats watching football. Luckily WGN followed up on the ad and actually talked to the doctor who has apparently bartered plastic surgery for other things in the past, one of the things was not, however, a soul.

16
Thespian Libby
Jan 18, 2007

The shoes! I have the shoes - I LOVE the shoes. (I don't however, have a "yahoo" account and cannot comment properly on flickr. oops.)

17
Claire
Jan 18, 2007

I'm more worried about "taint 24"'s personal ad to the left of your column than craigslist scams!

18
Angela
Jan 18, 2007

That's one of the more bizarre scams out there, isn't it? Although really, if someone is stupid enough to wire $1,500 to someone's account with the vague promise of being sent a key, then maybe they just deserve to lose that $1,500... Sort of survival of the fittest in the real estate world.

19
Sam
Jan 20, 2007

You are just endlessly funny, Holly, and I can't help but love you for that! Great column! I'll be entertaining myself by going back and reading the previous ones.

20
B
Jan 20, 2007

Wow, Holly. This article is a life saver! I was out with a friend last night who is moving from Boston to New York, and had found a 1-bedroom apartment in midtown (56th and 8th!) for $1000 a month! We both knew this was too good to be true, but I hadn't yet seen this entry. So as soon as I read this, I forwarded her your article, natch!

She just called to tell me that the woman emailed her back to say she lives in Germany, lost her hearing in a car accident, and that she'd need a deposit before flying out to show her the apartment.

21
Joan
Jan 21, 2007

Are you kidding? Of course we read your column in Charleston! Every week, sitting in Five Loaves cafe with soup and a salad we read your column.

22
OMSH
Jan 24, 2007

I'm with Angela - I would SO not wire someone money based on what? Pictures? Nuh-uh.