Balsamic Vignettes

"Whoa, look at all those grapefruits. I can't believe grapefruits still exist."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do people even eat grapefruits anymore? They just seem so ... retro."

"Yeah, actually, I do see what you mean. Like maybe they should have become obsolete when the 80s ended."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"What do you think of 'coagulate?' As a word?"

"I don't mind it. Why? What do you think of it?"

"I like it, but I didn't think you would. What about 'defenestrate?'"

"Ah yes, 'to throw out of the window.' I love that one. I love that at first it doesn't sound at all like what it means, and then when you find out what it means, it sounds exactly like that."

"What if you said autodefenstrate? Would that be 'to throw a car out of the window?'"

"I think it would be more like 'to throw yourself out of the window.' Auto, like autonomy."

"What about bidefenestrate? To throw two things out of the window?"

"Or biodefenestrate? To throw something alive out of the window?"

"Oh, good one! "

"Thanks. Good night."

"Good night. Wake me up if you think of any more."

"Will do."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"What exactly is going on with your hair?"


"The way it's brushed forward like that. It looks like your name is Blaine. Or Coby."

"And I live in Greenwich, Connecticut?"

"Yes, exactly. And you hang out at the country club all summer."

"And I am TOTALLY on the lacrosse team."

"Full scholarship."

"Got it. I'll get it cut. Today."

Jul 26, 2006

Wait -- if my name was Blaine and I lived in Greenwich and hung out at the CC all summer and was totally on the lacrosse team, would I *need* a full scholarship? Wouldn't I be swimming in shoals of cash like Scrooge McDuck? Which might explain the hair difficulties.

Jul 26, 2006

defenestrate is a good word. I need to use that word more often.

also: grapefruits - i looooovvvvvvvveeeee grapefruit. with sugar sprinkled on top. but only Ruby Reds.

Jul 26, 2006

I am antidefenestration if it involves either of you being thrown out of window. With or without the grapefruit. (antibiodefenestration)

You are too funny and definitely need to be fenestrated inside for your own safety.

Jul 26, 2006

Yay! IE wouldn't let me open your blog but Firefox did! I am utterly bored sitting in office hours before my class's final exam. No one is coming in to ask questions....
I'm glad to get your site open to find a discussion of words. I like amorphous a great deal. I still eat grapefruits but I live in Florida so we are forced to eat citrus 3 times a day.

Nothing But Bonfires
Jul 27, 2006

Sgazzetti, Blaine is JUST THAT GOOD at lacrosse.

Jul 27, 2006

Grapefruits? Retro? Hm. I live in Florida (fucking kill me nownownow) too, so maybe we're force-fed it.

I wouldn't have thought you'd like coagulate either. It strikes me as a word that would bother you immensely.

Jul 27, 2006

Those rich kids ALWAYS get the scholarships. Which is good, because they need their trust funds to make bail.

Jul 27, 2006

I'm fond of the concept of transfenestration, as described by Thomas Pynchon in his novel "Vineland" which is funny, improbable and interesting. It means, of course, to throw oneself THROUGH a window, as a character in the novel does once each year in order to keep his psychiatric disability checks coming in. (I'M. TOO MENTAL FOR MY MEDS. TOO MENTAL FOR MY MEDS. TOO MENTAL. and so on.)

Jul 27, 2006

(Semi-bi-auto-bio-mal-homo-micro-thermo-defenestration): n. the act of half-heartedly throwing one's living breathing self, twice (but badly) through the same, tiny, hot window.

Jul 27, 2006

Ahh, Gretchen, I've been debating attempting Vineland for some time now.... transfenestration might make it a worthwhile endeavor!

Jul 28, 2006

You people are all just too much for me. When my husband and I talk in code like that, it usually sounds something like this:

"Did you turn off the thing?"

"Which thing?"

"The one on the thingy by the, you know, the... oh, never mind. I'll get it in the morning."

"Good night."

"Good night."

And that's as much brain power as I have left.