This Is The Wonder That's Keeping The Stars Apart

Walking To The Bus

So Jemima got married and it was fantastic. No-one spilled anything, dropped anything, or spoke during the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit. Although one of the guests did take a wrong turn on the way to the reception and get the windows of his mini-van shot out. But that's South Carolina for you---the gunman was probably just disappointed that it wasn't the Wal-Mart delivery van, bringing him bags full of bullets and Ho-Hos.

Bustle Since it was my first real wedding, I didn't have any particular expectations---it would have been enough for me if the minister had just said "asunder," WHICH HE TOTALLY DID---but the whole thing blew me away anyway. Apart from the bit where I met one of Jemima's friends who sometimes reads this blog and introduced myself by saying "hi, this dress makes me look like I have two sets of boobs, one on top of the other," before knowing who she was---excellent way to make a first impression, Holly!---it was just lovely. I cried during the toasts at the reception dinner---especially when Jemima's father quoted the E.E Cummings poem "I Carry Your Heart With Me" to her---and I cried during the ceremony when a friend of ours choked up in the middle of her reading. I cried when Jemima's father shook her fiance's hand before giving her away, and I cried when she said her vows in a tiny, sweet little whisper and he said "I will!" in a big, booming, excited voice. I even cried when the bagpiper played as she walked in, although Jemima's father had only five minutes ago referred to him as "a man in a skirt carrying a bag of squawking cats." Luckily, I had a very good waterproof mascara and two pints of Ben & Jerry's at home in the freezer. (It was Buy One, Get One Free. I wasn't that emotional.)

When I wasn't crying, I was sweating. It was over 90 degrees and the tiny 18th-century church was at the end of a dirt road in the middle of nowhere, and didn't have any air-conditioning. I was placing silent bets in my head that the men in tuxedos would strip down to their skivvies by the time we'd said the ninth "amen." I thought Sean would probably be the first.

Sean and the Full Moon

Luckily, there was sangria at the reception and that softened the blow. Later, I bonded with Jemima in a way that will surely cement us for life, when I had to reach up under the back of her dress and lift 187 layers of taffeta for her so she could pee, while simultaneously running the water to decrease performance anxiety and shouting "I'm not looking! I swear I'm not looking!" as I covered my eyes. And there I was, thinking my duties as a bridesmaid would extend only as far as making sure the bride had enough to eat at the reception. Next time, someone needs to warn me about that. I mean, come on, I was only in it for the cake.

Me & Sean

Jun 13, 2006

Glad you got a little more out of it than just the cake.

a) that first picture is gorgeous
b) that last picture is even more sweet

Jun 13, 2006

Sounds lovely.

(Except the part about the guest getting his window shot out. That's just creepy.)

Jun 13, 2006

Lower those flowers. I want to see all those sets of boobs of yours!

Nothing But Bonfires
Jun 13, 2006

Different dress! I wore the Two-Sets-of-Boobs dress to the rehearsal dinner. It's what we do in the South.

Irony Queen
Jun 13, 2006

I LOVE when the minister says "asunder"!!!! When (ok, IF) I get married, I'm totally making the priest use the asunder version of his little speech.

Also, on the bathroom thing? Be glad your bride only had to pee. My friend/bride, on the other hand...

Horrible Warning
Jun 13, 2006

You and Sean are one hot couple. Hard to pull off in wedding wear.

Wait until Susie gets married. You will bawl more than you ever thought you could. It got to the point where the matron of honor was making fun of me for welling up so much at my sister's wedding (I was a bridesmaid, and it rocked because she picked black for her color). No sweat, though...when she caught me during the daddy/daughter dance, I flipped her the bird. Oh yeah, we were on a stage and at the dinner table...I'm pretty sure the entire reception saw me. I'm classy like that.

Anyway, everyone looks amazing. Glad you survived it, and with grace!

Jun 13, 2006

Oh when I get married! I'll probably be the second person in our family to get married, unless Tom is doing it right now (which I don't think is THAT impossible to imagine). I like Jemima's dress with the blue ribbon! Also what's with the first picture, with the bus in it, being very 50s and The Secret Life Of Bees.

Sarah Brown
Jun 13, 2006

Oh, I love that poem! Once I drank too much wine by myself at home and wrote it out and mailed it to my boyfriend at the time.

Also, you're not officially a bridesmaid until you go up the bride's skirt. I've been there.

Jun 13, 2006

Girl, not to sound like a total brood mare, but: You and Sean would sure make some awesome looking babies. You understand you owe it to the gene pool, right? The gene pool needs more smart and more gorgeous.

Congrats to Jemima & her swain.

Also, Ben & Jerry's -- have you tried the new flavors? They rock. Not that I would ever sit down and eat through a whole pint without even realizing it, mind you.

Jun 13, 2006

Aww, come on now, you know any friend of Jemima's can handle a little double set breast talk. And if it's not too forward of me, your breasts looked great and quite like a singular set!
Yes, I did a little crying myself. I love it anytime Jemima's father speaks, he has the PERFECT southern drawl, don't you think?
It was great to meet you!!!

Liberal Banana
Jun 13, 2006

I'm glad you had fun! You guys sure make a good looking couple!

(Me? I hate being in weddings. I've been in three as a bridesmaid and if it never happens again, I'll be totally fine with that.)

Jun 13, 2006

that first photo of sean is very James Bond :)

Jun 13, 2006

Well, I just read that e.e. cummings poem and teared up at my desk. The idea of her dad reading it to her in a sweet southern drawl was simply too much for me on a Tuesday morning. But I closed my office door. Because I am a consummate professional.

Jun 13, 2006

Love the black & white shot of the girls heading to the bus. And I'm a huge fan of the e.e. cummings poem.
In the past two years I've been to ten weddings(!) and have cried. every. single. time.

Jun 13, 2006


You? Are so beautiful.

That's my second favorite e.e.cummings poem EVER and I would have cried too.

Were you being serious about someone getting their van shot up?

This? Is the stupidest comment ever. I'm sorry, I'm tired.

Jun 13, 2006

I love love love the black and white picture of all of you taken from behind. I had to do the same thing at a friend's wedding--hold the dress up I mean. Boy was that something I never expected! Huge fan of the ee cummings poem, def. a tear jerker. And the pictures of you and Sean are so cute, I wish there was a shot of the shoes though!

Jun 13, 2006

Formal wear in 90 degree heat? I can't believe no one passed out. Seriously, there's at least one fainting per summer in my family, and I live in *Illinois*. (Midwest, represent. Holla? Should I say "Holla" now? I think I'm supposed to add a "Holla", in order to adequately big-up my region. Please advise.)

It's all so lovely. I think the best part is that Sean looks like he's been crying in some of the photos. Don't tell me that he just has allergies or something, because it will shatter my fragile illusions.

Jun 13, 2006

sweet cracker sandwich, could you and sean look ANY better? you people are making the rest of us mere mortals look bad.

glad you had such a nice time. the first pic of J and the girls is lovely!

Jun 13, 2006

I've been to that church - the architectural firm I work for wrote its historic structure report. What a gorgeous, gorgeous place, even more so with all you gorgeous people there.

Although I do distinctly remember swatting the hugest mosquito ever while there. One of those that leaves a bloody mark. Ew. I hope they passed out mini-bug spray favors.

And Elizabarracuda - hollaback, or whatever. From someone who has personally fainted at the St. Louis zoo and whose sister got married in a St. Louis greenhouse in July.

Jun 13, 2006

Chiming in on the "you guys are THE cutest couple evah!" bit - and also: a) those pictures are wonderful b) I love the term "bridesmaids' luncheon" c) has anyone ever said that Sean looks like the (MUCH YOUNGER) better-looking version of Sir Ian McClellan? He should totally be the new Bond!

Jun 13, 2006

Jemima should've gone with the nipple tassles and cowboy boots ... it would've been a lot cooler than taffeta.

Jun 14, 2006

Is it just me, or does Sean suddenly have a lot of hair? He has longer hair! Hair! Sean has hair!

And Jonniker! Has had WINE! And cannot speak or comment normally, because: wine.


I will so regret this comment in the morning, and it is TUESDAY, and so, drinking is REALLY PATHETIC, but one more time:

Sean has hair. Jonniker has had wine.

Hair! WINE!


Holly, you're beautiful.

Hair! Wine! Beauty!


Jun 14, 2006

Good lord, Holly...has The Gap approached you and Sean to do ads for them yet?

I'm also wondering about the alcohol consumed at the wedding and whether you have any new pics of Sean with his tie around his head. And maybe short one eyebrow.


Jun 15, 2006

Um, this is probably totally innapropriate, as I'm a happily married woman, and he's like, your boyfriend and stuff, but Sean is HOT. Especially all tuxedo'd.

And Holly, you are so pretty I can scarcely look at you, but it's not taboo to say that, so where's the fun?

(Really though, you're a dashing couple. And those photos are beautiful).

Thespian LLibby
Jun 16, 2006

If you are driving around that particular neck of the woods in a mini-van, for crying out loud, you are so entirely asking to have your windows shot out. Please.

Thespian LLibby
Jun 16, 2006

But of course we are very very glad that only windows were shot out. Absolutely.

Jun 22, 2006

Yeah, well, I'm the BRIDE here, and I can confirm that yes, Sean was HOTT in his tuxedo. Not as hott as Simons, but still...

AND IT WAS MY AUNT AND UNCLE WHO GOT SHOT!!! Can you believe that? THERE WAS GUNPLAY AT MY WEDDING! That deserved caps and exclamations, in my humble opinion. I didn't find out until the day after, but what in the hell was going on at that damned plantation? The bullet went through the BABY SEAT, people!

And thanks again for helping me find my own bottom parts under all of those layers of satin (TAFFETA, I think NOT!). If that self appointed wedding nazi had come into the bathroom, I would have had to slap her, and along with drive by shootings as things that shouldn't happen at weddings, brides shouldn't fight.

I can't believe that you're gone, Holly. When will I see you again? (sobs uncontrollably) And now I'll never get my Cadbury's. (wail of dispair)

Jul 02, 2006