Jemima's Last Hurrah

Much to the disappointment of Jemima's fiance, her bachelorette weekend did not involve any semi-nude pillow fights. Much to his relief---and also to mine---it also did not involve male strippers in firemen costumes. Instead, we drank champagne and pineapple juice on the beach, gave ourselves impromptu pedicures on the back deck, baked in the sun while reading terrible books, and periodically shouted out, "Oh my god, Jemima! This time next week you'll be married!" Then we set up a staged photograph for the fiance showing two of the bridesmaids pillow fighting in their pajamas while Jemima giggled in the foreground. We figured we owed him that much.

We stayed in a beach house just outside of Beaufort, South Carolina, which we reached by driving through The Kountry. And yes, it was definitely spelled with a "k". As well as passing Mustang Lane, Bible Camp Road, and 187 trailers adorned with confederate flags, we also done had to resist the overwhelmin' temptation to stop at a roadside stand whose spray-painted sign offered "home-brewed tropical beer."

I tell you something: it's a good thing I've quit my job, because with the whirlwind of festivities surrounding Jemima's impending nuptials---a celebratory garden party on Thursday night, the rehearsal on Friday afternoon, the rehearsal dinner on Friday night, the bridesmaids' luncheon on Saturday afternoon, and the wedding and reception on Saturday evening---I'm going to need all the time I can get to draw up a strategic timetable that'll allow me to rotate my two okay-ish dresses in such a way that the groom's mother won't notice that I'm re-wearing Thursday night's outfit on Saturday afternoon. What do you think---will a series of different cardigans cover it? Or should I wear an eyepatch to detract attention from my clothes?

While I work on that, here is a picture of Jemima's bridesmaids not yet wearing champagne shantung silk tents that cost $87 to alter, courtesy of an incredibly intimidating Eastern European seamstress who barked "No! That's wrong! You're making it look wrong!" when I asked if we could perhaps do a little something to prevent the gaping at the sides of my dress that may well have the congregation smiling at the bridal party for entirely the wrong reasons. I'm persuading myself it'll just be built-in ventilation. God knows, one needs some in Charleston in June.

Jemima's wenches

Melissa, Melissa (both pregnant!), me, Sabrina, Jemima, Amanda.

Jun 05, 2006

Ahhh! What a sweet, sweet bunch of lovely ladies! Y'all look jest radiant - I could pick Jemima out of a crowd with her extra-radiant smile. She looks ready for the altar - and you-all look ready for $87.00 Russian alterations. Completely off-topic: Did you SEE Chloe Sevigny on Big Love Tonight? Rrrowwwrr!

Jun 05, 2006

Wow,you guys look great!!

Just so you're prepared, I'm a friend of Jemima's from way back and I'm going to be there on this weekend, in fact, I'll likely be meeting you on Friday night. She's how I found your blog. Anyway this whole point of this don't know me but I'm going to be looking at you as a friendly face because I'm not going to know ANYONE!!!

Jun 05, 2006

Aye, the eyepatch is the logical solution.

Jun 05, 2006

freakishly good-looking bridal party, y'all

Jun 05, 2006

I'd say that the solution to the dress issue would be to borrow a non-pregnancy dress (or two) from the pregnant Melissa and Melissa. (I'm assuming they're your friends too.)

Or, an alternative solution could be what I did when I was a bridesmaid. I spilled my wine on the groom's mother. Yes, it went all down the front of her dress. At the rehearsal party. It totally distracted her from my dress I can assure you!

Jun 05, 2006

You guys look gorgeous in this photo! Was it a requirement of Jemima that her briday party be so beautiful? (I won't blame her: it was of mine, too.)

Jun 05, 2006

so, did Jemima pick her bridesmaids based on how good they will look in her wedding photos, because, wow! chantung silk be damned, you will all make her wedding a pretty place to be.

Jun 05, 2006

Beaufort. I love Beaufort. One of the few unaltered Southern beach towns.

Sometimes I miss living in South Carolina, and you will too.

Jun 05, 2006

Ooooh love your outfit.

Many congrats to Jemima and the wedding hotties....keep drinking the champagne!


Jun 06, 2006

Stop. Being. So. PRETTY. Sheesh!

Going back to normal-people land.... ;)

Jun 06, 2006

why did i fight it when my old boss tried so hard to get me to move to south carolina and work at the company HQ? oh, wait i know... because all y'all pretty girls would make me invisible. :(

what's a plain girl to do? geez....

Jun 06, 2006

Heh heh heh. Just read Jemima's post - VERY funny conversation related between her and Drunk Holly. (Although the stuff about her sinister, er, weird. I mean he sounds weird.)

Jun 07, 2006

Wait! You're already repeating outfits! Isn't that the gold top from New Year's Eve?

Jun 07, 2006

I vote for the eyepatch. Argh, matey.

Nothing But Bonfires
Jun 07, 2006

Well-spotted, Susan! It IS the gold top from New Year's Eve! Oh god, it's come to this: I can't ever repeat outfits again BECAUSE THE INTERNET WILL KNOW. I will have to buy stock in feather boas and large straw hats and, yes, eyepatches to hide the evidence.

Jun 08, 2006

That top would look totally cute with a feather boa. Or an eye patch!

Jun 09, 2006

awww...pretty lady!