Two Out Of Three Of These Things Are About Beer, Which Is Quite A Good Fraction, I Think

So I tried to order a keg yesterday for this party we're having tomorrow night---because, you know, I don't have eight million things to do before I leave the country so I thought tomorrow I'd spend the morning making 75 deviled eggs and the afternoon stringing Christmas lights from the trees in the garden---and I called a local grocery store because someone had told me they knew they did kegs. I was transfered between four different people before they finally put me through to the bakery, at which point I did think "hmm, the bakery, that's weird, but whatever---maybe they liaise with the liquor department." And then I had a ten minute conversation with the woman in the bakery about ordering a keg, and it was only when she asked me how I wanted my keg to be frosted, that I realized I'd just spent ten minutes ordering a CAKE.

Also, I discovered yesterday that Sean has spent all twenty-nine years and ten months of his life under the impression that cheapo beer Pabst Blue Ribbon is actually Pat's Blue Ribbon. And when I called him out on it---"but who is this Pat? And why does he have a ribbon?"---he was all "well, what's PABST? Why would it be PABST? That's not a word!"

Finally, I have an idea. It's a self-indulgent, lazy idea, but I think you'll find that that's me all over, so maybe it's really only fitting. I have a four and a half hour layover in Newark on Monday, and although I'm debating the idea of taking a cab to IKEA to pass the time, I'll probably most likely buy every tabloid with Lindsay Lohan on the front and sit in the airport lounge inhaling Starbust for the entire extent of it.

But there is an alternative! What if you helped me out? What if you gave me an assignment? What if you left me a question in the comments section, and then I swore I'd answer it, unless it was about, like, what I wear to sleep in or something, because that might kind of creep me out? What if we did that?

Go on! There must be something about me you want to know. And if not, just pretend there is. Pretend I'm a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a half-price cashmere sweater from the Banana Republic outlet. Ask away! And I'll write my answers from terminal 4 at Newark while I'm waiting for my plane to London. Then I'll post them like an FAQ, like I think I'm all important and shit.

1
ashleigh
May 12, 2006

1. where were you born

2
Carley
May 12, 2006

What is your biggest pet peeve?

3
geeky
May 12, 2006

where is your favorite place in the whole world?
if you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?
what is your all-time favorite movie or tv show quote?
given the choice, would you rather be OCD or schizophrenic?
what is the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you?
is it more painful to see someone abuse punctuation, or to see someone use words like irregardless and anyways?

4
lissa
May 12, 2006

Do you have dual citzenship?
This may seem way to personal but seriously what do you parents do? Are they in the mafia and is that why they move around so much?

5
lissa
May 12, 2006

I mean CITIZENSHIP!! (sorry for the misspelled word)

6
SportyChick
May 12, 2006

Ok, so spill the list of favorite words from your office wall.... dying to know.

Have a good flight!

7
Exiled to Canada
May 12, 2006

How many languages do you speak and what are they?

8
Kelli
May 12, 2006

Are you and Sean engaged? You always refer to him as your boyfriend, but in your 'About' section, you said you had dozens of wedding etiquette books scattered about?
(Sorry if this is obvious, I am a recent reader)
((And thank you for giving me this outlet, I've been dying to ask))

9
mothergoosemouse
May 12, 2006

I spit out my soda when I read the part about how your keg would be frosted. Wait, no - I spit out my COKE. No, not my cake. Or my keg. My COKE. No, soda. Soda, dammit, soda!

Ahem. Come visit. I wrote nice things about you (and the rest of my blogroll) in honor of Mother's Day. I know you're not yet a mother, but I wasn't going to discriminate against the non-mothers on my blogroll.

Anyway, here's a question for you: What word do you use to describe a sweet, carbonated beverage?

10
Liberal Banana
May 12, 2006

Hilarious!

Are you going to be inhaling "Starbust" or Starbursts (as in, the candy)?

One more: Everyone in the blogosphere is jealous of your awesomeness - leaving work to travel and then moving to a city you like JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN. So my question is...what are YOU jealous of?

11
Sheila
May 12, 2006

Sean has obviously never visited my fair city of Milwaukee, because Pabst is EVERYWHERE 'round these parts. There's the mansion, or rather, mansions, built by Captain Frederick Pabst for himself and most of his children, there's the neon Pabst Blue Ribbon signs in every corner tavern, on EVERY corner, there's the odd can or two strewn about carelessly on lawns of college students and third shift workers, etc. Pabst, Pabst, Pabst. It's everywhere--oh, except for the actual brewery. That closed down a few years ago after the multinational corporation which bought it from the Pabst heirs ran it into the ground, sold off the naming rights, and shut down the local production. So, anyway. Sean must only drink the good stuff, and may have never seen a Pabst label up close enough to read one. Good taste, that guy. However, my dad, a proud PBR drinker all of his life, would have loved to hear it called Pat's Blue Ribbon because you see? My dad's name? Pat!

My question for you: when is the first time you drank alcohol without your parents' knowledge? What was it, and how did you feel afterwards?

12
krista- the silent k
May 12, 2006

What happened to the blogads?

I wanted to click on the link to your man's photography and stuff.

13
Kelli
May 12, 2006

Hello there. I've been meaning to delurk so many times since I started reading...guess I just needed a good ol' Q&A session to finally get me to leave a comment.
So here goes -- and I'm borrowing these questions from James Lipton on Inside the Actors Studio (which, actually I think he borrows from someone else. But anyway.)

What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What is your favorite curse word?
What turns you on?
What turns you off?
A sound you love?
A sound you hate?
What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to participate in?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you reach the pearly gates?

I'm totally in love with your blog by the way -- and can't wait to hear all about your upcoming adventures!
Have a safe flight.

14
Eric
May 12, 2006

I'm going to tell you all a secret. It's not a really good one, mind you, I just like to build things up to a level of anticipation that they cannot possibly sustain. Here it is:

As a small child, for some reason, I seized on the word "Pabst" as the most fun word of all time, ever, and would walk around saying "Pabst" at every opportunity. "Pab-ssss-T." I think this phase only lasted a couple of weeks, but it was enough to scar my poor parents and convince them I was headed for alcoholics anonymous.

Now, for my question: Since you are (or will be) sitting in an airport, what is your favorite quirky airport? And what airport in the world is your favorite, whether because it's wonderful or spectacularly awful?

15
jes
May 12, 2006

a) Do you want to get married?
b) Do you want to have children?
c) If you knew before you got pregnant that your children wouldn't live past age 13, would you still try?

16
jes
May 12, 2006

And, hey! Why not BREW YOUR OWN BEER? That could TOTALLY be a good story.

17
Adele
May 12, 2006

Is this just a ploy to generate some blogads for psychiatrists? You are luring us into asking questions that reveal our deep oddities and need for therapy?

Anyway, how nice that you would think of us as a way to pass the time.
Let's see if I can come up with a question.....uh...

If you could have written any novel or poem (that is currently in existence) which would it have been, and why?

(Does that keep me safe from the little men in white jackets?)

Have a great trip!

18
Lori
May 12, 2006

Well, mine is tame compared to the others, but I've always wondered - what brought you to Charleston?

19
Sheila
May 12, 2006

Oo, exciting exciting, free rein to be inquisitive and things. Umm.. Aha! Of all the places you've lived, which was your favourite/least favourite and why?

20
Nic
May 12, 2006

Why do you suppose some authors write a fantastic novel (Gone With the Wind, To Kill a Mockimgbird, etc.) and then never publish again? Fear of a sophmore slump? That one story was so good that all their inspiration was used up? Or do you suspect these authors did secretly publish under another name?

21
Kara
May 12, 2006

As I secretly long to do the same, I want to know how can you afford to quit your job and travel for so long? Oh, please divulge your financial secrets!

22
Lindsey
May 12, 2006

Good! You know what I have been DYING to ask: How do you pull of quitting your jobs and taking this trip? I mean, did you have the idea and then save a years worth of income, or . . . yeah? How? And, if it isn't really too much to ask, how much do you estimate the whole thing will cost? Will you budget out daily? How did you decide where to go?

I clearly have more questions about this trip than I thought. Green with envy, and really excited to read of your adventures.

23
Velma
May 12, 2006

When you are sitting in the airport, surrounded by fellow passengers, I would like you to pick out three of them and come up with a scenario in which they are all connected. Or tell us their life stories, or where they are going, or what they will be eating for dinner.

24
liz
May 12, 2006

1) you are on a deserted island and can choose any one person (alive or dead, known to you or not) to join you...who would it be?
2) do you have any phobias? what are they?
3) you stumble across a magic lamp, complete with wish-granting genie... you are given three wishes; what would you wish for?

25
jenny lee
May 13, 2006

oh my gosh, Sheila ........i'm from appleton! (30 minutes south of green bay).
i can also tell you that there are about 9million pabst signs all over the place.
i think there might be a pabst blue ribbon river running thought milwaukee lol.

and let's just say right now, the cheesecake factory........over-priced.

26
jenny lee
May 13, 2006

oh, i didn't really have a question. ok, i just thought of one. does elle (is that her name?) need a replacement person to send lipgloss to? cuz i volunteer.

27
Susie
May 13, 2006

Who do you like better, me or Luke?

Have a safe flight!

P.S. Hello, a keg could totally be at the bakery! They both use anaerobic respiration and yeast!

28
Liz
May 13, 2006

Do you read alot, and if so, what are some of your favorite books?
Have a great tirp, you will make memories to last forever (trite, I know, but I travelled around the world 30 yrs. ago and hope to do it again soon!)

29
lisa
May 13, 2006

If you had to choose, would you rather have to always refer to yourself in the third person or always refer to everyone else as "Sweetie"? Why?

30
jonniker
May 13, 2006

How do you live so far away from your family? it's a fear I have, even though I live kind of far from mine, living in SC vs SINGAPORE is different. And doing what you're doing takes balls, I think, in a good way.

So I guess I'm wondering about how you feel about being away from your family, and if you ever plan to move near them? And really, what, are they in the CIA or something? Or, um, the English equivalent (because I am a dullard like that).

And um, I will miss you when you're traveling the world. I hope you write quite a bit and keep us posted.

31
Jess
May 13, 2006

I'll come up with a good one, but for now: What do you have AGAINST Ben Affleck?

32
Betsy
May 13, 2006

My husband and I like to play these games when we travel:

If you won the 75 million dollar lottery what would you do with it and how would the money change your life.

Five best movies of all time.

33
Jess
May 13, 2006

In case the flight got delayed (otherwise, choose one):
* What is the biggest lie you've ever told (and how did you feel afterwards)?
* What were you teased about when you were younger?
* What are you insecure about?
* Do you have goals set for your life or just go with the flow?
* How often do you feel the sheets need to be changed (ask around and hear the many different answers)

Have a wonderful trip!

34
Kate
May 13, 2006

Good luck on your travels Holly. Have a brilliant time!

My question is: Who will be looking after Charlie and Sadie whilst you travel?

35
Gretchen
May 13, 2006

Another reminder of why I love you: your use of the word "liaise". Deeeeelicious.

No one should ever drink Pabst beer, ever. Although there is a beer worse than it, which is Schaefer beer from Pennsylvania.

Here is what I want to know about you: The name of the person who made your virginity go byebye. Everyone remembers that! Mine was Myles Garrison. Sounds rather dashing, doesn't it?

36
PSUrob
May 14, 2006

Do NOT go to the IKEA near Newark airport. It is in a very bad neighborhood (Elizabeth). Just FYI.

37
JB
May 14, 2006

We were playing this in the office yesterday, so...

What are the five songs that you would say "define" you?

I know. It was a Friday afternoon...

38
Gallaudet
May 14, 2006

Oh Lawzy, I miss traveling without kids. Four hour layover without children=Starbucks and Lindsey. Four hour layover with children=destruction of everything in toddling radius. I am envying your tabloids!

Also excited to read your FAQ, to which I add: what did you like most about growing up all over the world as a child? What did you like least?

39
Patrick
May 14, 2006

I echo Jess's question, which, I think, *is* a good one: What's with the Affleck-hatin'?

I can think of five celebrities off the top of my head that deserve a good loathing more than Ben Affleck. That dude who was in "My So Called Life" and the druggie movie with Jennifer Connelly immediately pops into my head as a good f'rinstance.

Ben's been in a handful of weak movies, and there was the much-publicized Jennifer Lopez thing, but I never understood what he did to earn such universal derision.

(I ponder this enigma than any straight man I know)

(Jared Leto! I had to go look it up)

40
DM
May 14, 2006

How you want your keg frosted! Love it.

I'm thinking your layover isn't going to be long enough to get to all of these questions but I'll give it a shot.

How did you know Sean was the one? And have you ever had one of those completely great wondrous (but kind of cliched because of movies) kiss scenes in the rain?

41
Patrick
May 14, 2006

(I ponder this enigma MORE than any straight man I know)

- Is there some kind of internet-y word for editing/correcting a post after it has been posted?

That was was kind of a thinking-out-loud rhetorical question, and need not be answered in your (what is proving to be quite long) FAQ. Unless you, like, know the answer right off the top of your head.

42
stellalafayette
May 15, 2006

what would you say to president bush if you could speak to him for 30 minutes? (i know his attention span is much shorter....but just pretend!)

43
Jason
May 15, 2006

Oh, for Pete's sake. As if you will even continue reading this far down the list of comments...

Please name the literary character whose life most reminds you of your own.

Were you able to trade places with one character from literature, who would it be?

Either / or is fine. Rationale optional.

44
geepeemum
May 15, 2006

Some of these questions are plain weird. I'm delurking to ask one too though - so hope this isn't too weird... What are your favourite parts of London and why? [from someone who (kind of) lives in London (if you count extreme Suburbia) and who'd like to live further into London (if it wasn't for, you know, crap schools and no off-street parking and the noise) and who also went to UCL and, if this doesn't sound like I'm some crazed stalker which I'm not, thinks San Francisco is the best city in the world though I'm not totally sure I'd like to live there] So anyway - favourite bits of London. Please.

45
geepeemum
May 15, 2006

I got my homepage wrong. Sorry.

46
jonniker
May 15, 2006

Oh dude, PSURob, I've been to the Ikea near Newark in Elizabeth TONS of times. It's totally fine. There are about 20,000 tourists, so seriously, it's FINE. But don't go there, Holly. Answer these instead.

47
De-nile
May 15, 2006

So - moving to San Fran - why? I lived there and in St. Helena in the Napa Valley for 4 years so when I know people plan to move there without any game plan I get curious as to the motivation.

48
wordnerd
May 15, 2006

Soooo...my question is this. 46 questions later (give or take -- in all honesty, I didn't read to see if the comments all contained questions), are you sorry you took this on?

49
Diane
May 15, 2006

How did you and Sean meet?
Fave thing to do on an airplane?
Pet peeve from people around you on airplanes?
Why Singapore?

That was all I could think of that has not already been asked. I think that you have more questions than hours but looking forward to reading your answers. Have a great trip to London and beyond.

50
Eliza
May 15, 2006

This is not a question about you, but it's one I've been wondering about lately and am simply too lazy to find out on my own...

Does Australia have the same seasons as the US at the same time? Like, right now we are in spring moving into summer. Are they, too? So is it cold in the summer in Australia? Or is it winter in July in Australia?

(I ask this because I assume it extrapolates to other British colonies such as South Africa, where I will visit next October, and I would hate to be the fool praising the lovely "Fall" weathr, if in fact they call it "Spring.")

Thanks!

51
Meg
May 15, 2006

If everything involved beer, the world would be a much better place.

52
PJKM
May 15, 2006

What are the things you look forward to most when you go back to England - e.g. food, shops, scenery, TV, etc?

And please explain to Eliza that seasons are reversed in the Southern hemisphere ...

(Let me know if you want the name of a fantastic place to stay in Shanghai - I'll give you the owner's e-mail address.)

53
Free to Be
May 15, 2006

If you plan on having babies, will you have two in a row and walk around barefoot like Brittney and make Sean wear cornrows?

54
Josh
May 15, 2006

How do we contact you when you get here? I've only got your Charleston number and email!

55
Tony
May 15, 2006

How did you know he was the one?

56
Gretchen
May 15, 2006

Eliza, I know for a fact that iin Australia it's hot weather at Christmas time. I know this because my sons are into the Wiggles, who are Australian, and their Christmas DVD shows people going swimming and wearing hot-weather clothes at the Christmas holiday.

And Holly, let me ask you an alternate question, since everyone is going to have to miss out on the answer to my original. If you were a dog, what dog breed would you be?

57
Karin
May 15, 2006

Can you please show us a picture of the shoe after which this site was designed?

58
dk
May 16, 2006

Oh Eliza!!!
See, here in Australia, we think that Americans are 'cute' - in the "Awwwww... look at the American, can't seem to understand that there is a world outside of the US of A... ' sense of the word. You're not doing much to rectify that idea here :)

In the Southern Hemisphere, 'summer' is December-February and it is hot. June-August is winter and is cold (although not so much in SA and Aust - more New Zealand, Argentina etc). 'Fall' is what happens when drink too much; in English, the season between summer and winter is called 'autumn'.

Christmas is in summer and is a somewhat bizarre event - think 40C weather, complete with Christmas trees, roast turkey and images of holly, snowmen etc...

59
PhoenixHearse
May 16, 2006

Wow, that's a lot of questions to answer in 4.5 hours. Hopefully you'll find time to make it to mine, because I MUST know your stance on crotchless underwear! (I like to define my friends by their stance on crotchless underwear)

Really now, I just don't understand. Isn't the POINT of underwear to have a crotch? And if it doesn't, why waste the money on them? Why not just go commando?

In all my years, I've only ever found one good excuse for crotchless underwear. There is some religion (you'd think I'd have remembered it since this is so important!) that must be touching their underwear at all times...they even hold them in the shower. So hey, that makes sense, you could wear them while you showered and still wash all the important bits. But other than that, POINTLESS!!

So what do you think? Sexy lingerie? Or pointless waste of money?

60
juliloquy
May 16, 2006

My question: Does baby corn kind of freak you out a little?

61
misfithausfrau
May 16, 2006

OK, there are WAY too many questions for you to answer. I guarantee that you forgot about answering them when you landed at Newark and on the left hand side of the plane was the BIGGEST IKEA in the US of A with it's bright blue and yellow siding, calling, beckoning. The people are rude, you might spot a celeb, and it is RIGHT ACROSS THE FREAKING STREET.

Can you tell I miss IKEA? I am counting down the days until I am back in New Jersey!

62
Heather
May 16, 2006

Where did you work that looks so cool and has so many books and pays you enough to take off all this time travelling and employs pretty coworkers? Can you say? And what did you do and how did you get it? Because I totally want your job!

63
Heather B
May 17, 2006

Reading through all of the comments seems daunting right now, so forgive me if someone (or a few people) have already asked these questions:

(1) What do your parents do, that they live all over the country?

(2) What made you decide to stay in the States? Sean or was this decision pre-Sean?

(3) Are you about ready to explode from excitement over going to Asia?