What I Will Miss About Work: A Photo Essay

When I first got the idea to post pictures of things I'd miss when I left work---and when I say "got the idea," I actually mean "stole it from Amalah"---I thought I'd be a real asshole about it, and photograph things I hated, like the perpetually empty roll of toilet paper in the women's bathroom, or my constantly overflowing trashcan, or the huge red wine stain on the cream carpet right by the desk in my office. But then I realized that I shouldn't complain about stuff like that, and that no-one wanted to see pictures of empty toilet rolls, and also that the huge red wine stain on the cream carpet was actually totally my fault because I dropped a bottle of Merlot one day when I was leaving the office. Free Merlot. Merlot my boss had given me as a present.

So I hereby present to you without further ado:
Some Things That I Will Really, Truly, Genuinely Miss About My Office.

First of all, I will miss my wall:

I will also actually miss my whole desk. (Notice my banana! So healthy! Too bad I ate ginger snaps for breakfast instead! And notice the wall calendar still stuck on December! Also, if you look in the top left hand corner on top of the bookshelf, you can totally see the fake boobs we all share around the office. They're in a bright pink box and they're called "take-outs.")

Then I will miss my computer—more specifically, what I have taped to the bottom:

And also what I have taped to the top:

(Please notice how I have RhymeZone as one of my bookmarks! That's a rhyming dictionary, you know---could I be any dorkier? What, do I think I'm going to be writing raps all day or something?)

I will miss Pretty Coworker Elle and Coworker Andrew. (He doesn't have an adjective in front of his name, so what should we call him? He's kind of pink, isn't he? We could call him Pink Coworker Andrew. Also, once he had a story published in The New Yorker but that's by the by.)

I will miss the lipglosses Pretty Coworker Elle brings in for me every week. Look! I have rather an extensive collection! We really have to hope she keeps buying the wrong shade for herself, because it's exactly the right shade for me:

Speaking of Pretty Coworker Elle, I will miss the list of words we keep: the ones we love and hate. Why, just today she added "fisticuffs" to the Words We Love list. And I added "mung bean" to the Words We Hate:

I will miss Pink Coworker Andrew's cubicle, which we dubbed Fort Mosier, because it's the only cubicle in the office and, well, because his last name is Mosier:

A few weeks ago, Fort Mosier got deconstructed because they needed one of its walls for the sales department, and it stood in ruins for some time, before Pretty Coworker Elle and I took it upon ourselves to reconstruct it, facing a different way this time, so that Pink Coworker Andrew could actually conduct an interview without hearing the art department talk about photo shoots and Photoshop:

Speaking of the art department, I'll miss working with my boyfriend, the World's Oldest Intern:

I'll miss the ab exercises I never did on Pretty Coworker Elle's exercise ball (and also, gross, I totally have no idea what that disgusting stain on it might be, but you can't blame me because I never used it, and for once that's actually a good thing):

And I'll totally miss this chair, which I always swore I'd take with me when I left my job, but now am second-guessing because of limited space in the U-Haul. Also because I think it would probably violate some ridiculous Don't Steal Company Property rule, and I'm already skating on thin ice what with the red wine stain on the cream carpet:

The calendar I could probably get away with though, not least because I bought it myself at Staples. I can't see that it would do me much good though, unless I could roll it into a backpack and wear it for seventeen days in a row, or perhaps exchange it for a Cambodian bus ticket, or maybe use it to make international collect calls:

As it stands, I'll just keep crossing the days off---only two now!---until I leave the office forever. And then I'll sneak back on the weekend for that chair.

May 11, 2006

Love it! Your office looks fun.

Mind you, I'm sure it will be a lot less 'funner' when you are gone.

Maybe that's why Pink Coworker Andrew is so pink in the face.

May 11, 2006

1) I forgot about your handwriting and how much I like it. It's neat and perfect and yet has a slightly defiant and wayward air about it too. It should be a computer font.

2) You use a Mac at work! I don't know if this is a good or bad thing! Or even signficant!

3) Your office is like a house. A nice house. I like mine because we have sofas and goldfish, but there's absolutely no way it could ever be mistaken for anything other than a 1970s-built office block.

4) There is no 4). There is, however, a

5) "I think if I don't make myself go I don't go" has been dated as 12/14/06, which is either spooky, prophetic or a typo.

May 11, 2006

Great photo essay! I look forward to future ones taken in even more exotic locales! : )

May 11, 2006

I love it. Oddly, almost exactly as I pictured it.

May 11, 2006

I'd love to read your list of love 'em/hate 'em words (they're just a little too small on my monitor).

May 11, 2006

Aha! RhymeZone. You actually have it as a bookmark, as do I, but not in a so prominent place as you. And, just in case, I TOTALLY use mine to write raps. About the size of my ass.

May 11, 2006

You aren't allowed to steal any more ideas from me because you do them SO MUCH BETTER.

May 11, 2006

And I thought that I was the only one who could possibly have Rymezone on my bookmarks toolbar! It's so nice to know that I'm not alone!

May 11, 2006

oh my god, my friends give me crap about crossing off the days on my calendar as if i am the only one on the planet that does it.... i'll have to link to this entry now just to show that i'm not alone. :)

May 11, 2006

My favorite is the book on your desk that says "BOOTYFOOD"...and I also completely hate the word "discharge".

May 11, 2006

I could never do this. My office is just too boring.

May 11, 2006

Any office that has a merlot stain on the carpet is a good place to work, in my humble opinion.


I like that you have a book titled "Booty."

May 11, 2006

Ditto Dutch - what's the rest of that book title? The font color was too light to read.

I miss having a fun office. Although there's a cube here that has no chair, but an exercise ball instead. I've never seen anyone sit on it though.

May 12, 2006

Oh I will miss your office too! The time that I was the world's YOUNGEST intern, for a day, and all I did was make sure Charlie didn't leave. Oh and where will you put the picture of Emily and Florence, they are LADIES you see! And the summer that your office was just across the street so that you could sleep over! And also Sean's looking like he needs a haircut! He can't meet all my friends like that!

May 12, 2006

So, I'm thinking I need to work in a more laid-back environment. And if I lived in Charleston, I'd TOTALLY lobby for your job. And your pink house. And your pink KitchenAid.

Also, is your house hot pink like the KitchenAid? Because if so, that's awesome!

Ooh! Ooh! I know! You should get shimmery translucent paint and paint your house, so it SPARKLES.

Wouldn't that be fun? Especially for the boys?

Nothing But Bonfires
May 12, 2006

The book is called "Booty Food." It's pretty much a cookbook of dishes you can make so people want to make out with you. IT WAS SENT TO ME. I DID NOT BUY IT.

And sadly, my house is pale pink, not hot pink. And also, my house is now SOLD. How about that, huh? Mr Breaking-and-Entering Real Estate Agent did his job. And now all tenants must be out by July 1st.

May 12, 2006

Happy Last Day, Holly! You have so much excitement to look forward to, and we're really lucky to be along for the ride...

May 12, 2006

Already sold? So quickly!

May 12, 2006

Your office looks amazing and so fun! Did you still need to find a replacement? Where shall I send my resume? No seriously.

May 12, 2006

Happy Last Day, Holly! Your office looks lovely -- it is sad you have to deconstruct that wall. (insert lame English major joke here).

It's funny how the decor totally reflects the tone of the place -- fake boobs, exercise balls, many a book -- it really looks like a fun place to work. I've always gotten really creeped out by some of my co-workers who don't put anything up on their walls and just have massive piles of papers on their picture-less desk. Get a lamp, yo! Stick up something besides your framed Harvard degree! Can I get another amen?

Just think, tomorrow morning marks the beginning of the next (terribly exciting) chapter!

May 12, 2006

Of course you'll miss all that! I wish I had fun co-workers like yours; mine were a big lot of sourpusses. I was the only woman in my law firm who was able to get pregnant, and my husband said it was because the other women were SO BITCHY that their insides were all nasty and sour, and no baby could take hold in there.

And the fake boobs, of course. No office is complete without a set of fake boobs.

May 15, 2006

Funny you should mention "mung bean" in your post. I just tried a new recipe from a new (gorgeous photos) middle-eastern recipe book and it called for "mung beans", mashed.

I not only had never heard of them, I didn't have any, so I used black-eyed peas instead. I don't think anyone could tell the difference - it was delicious!

Thanks for giving me a reason to discuss mung beans.

- M