Jun
05
2011

On The Upside, I'm Not Particularly Scared Of Spiders

I have a decent number of irrational fears---falling asleep and never waking up again; being pushed onto the train tracks by an uhinged stranger at the last second before the train comes; wooden spoons---but at the top of my list of Things That Scare Me, No Matter How Illogical is that I will one day get mixed up with a drug kingpin who wrongly thinks I owe him money.

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Jun
08
2011

Splendid Thing: Costco Workout Tops

Attention, attention! Cease whatever you are currently doing! I have found the world's most perfect workout top!

Perhaps you, unlike me, have not been on a ten year quest to find the world's most perfect workout top. In which case, you should skip this post and go roll around in your stack of already-perfect workout tops, you show-off. For me, the search for a perfect workout top has been a long and fruitless one---until now, that is.

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Jun
09
2011

Common Ground

I'm heading down to San Diego this weekend to hang out with one-third of my family: my dad and my sister Susie. It's an unusual combination, but luckily there's a new Househunters episode on HGTV every thirteen seconds.

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Jun
14
2011

My Big News

If you are a woman of a certain age---and particularly if you are a woman of a certain age who has been married going on two years---and you write a blog post entitled "My Big News," you are probably going to get a reasonable number of people assuming that you're pregnant.

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Jun
20
2011

Weekend At Burnsey's

First of all, thank you so much for all your well wishes and congratulations on my new gig; I read each of the comments with such a smile on my face because sometimes the Internet is just such a lovely cheering section of a place, isn't it? I love it when everyone's so nice to each other. Hey, you're excited about something? Hurrah, we're excited for you too! You're sad about something? That's okay, come here, we have tissues.

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Jun
21
2011

Sixty Years Of Memories

For my dad's 60th birthday last week, I wanted to do something really fun. My dad and I talk a lot about the past---nostalgia runs in our blood, I think---and we both love to reminisce. Inspired by Jordan Ferney's Postcard Birthday Poster, I started batting around an idea: what if I could get everyone from my dad's past to contribute a memory they had of him? What if I had all those people send their memories to me, and then I put each one into an envelope---sixty total, of course---and had him open them, one by one, on his birthday?

That would be a lot of memories, right?

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Jun
23
2011

Seven Days Of Sloth

I've had the most wonderful week off so far. I left my office for the last time on Friday, and my friend Alison took me to a bar where she bought me two glasses of champagne in twenty minutes, and I wish I could say that was an exaggeration, but she was late for a hair appointment and we had some catching up to do, so two glasses of champagne in twenty minutes it was. Boy, that'll knock you back, I tell you.

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Jun
29
2011

The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth (Big Piles Of It, All Over Their Front Lawn)

Now listen, I am no Miss Marple, but I'm pretty sure I have a mystery on my hands. Something very, very strange is happening on my street right now---more specifically, in my own front yard---and I could use your input in getting to the bottom of it. Or not even getting to the bottom of it, really, because I'm not sure we're even going to do that, but maybe you could just shake your head in bewilderment along with me. That totally counts. 

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