Dec
06
2011

It's A Normal Time Of Day Somewhere

I am writing this at 4am, where I am deep in the throes of jetlag. And while I know I'm supposed to hunker down and tough it out and try to visualize each part of my body relaxing one after the other so that I can fall back asleep again like they tell you to do in those meditation tapes, I have been awake since 1:30am at this point, and between you and me, it ain't gonna happen.

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Dec
08
2011

Like Pulling Teeth

I went to the dentist yesterday, for an appointment that I had made six months earlier. Does your dentist do this? Make you schedule another appointment the second you walk out of the last one? Probably this is kind of common and everyone's dentist does it, but to me it is newly surprising every time because I cannot think of any other area in my life that is so organized and well-regimented.

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Dec
10
2011

Then Practice Losing Farther, Losing Faster

December, so far, has been a month for losing things. On Friday morning, for instance, I lost my car keys—or rather I lost my mind, I guess, because I locked my car keys inside my car, where I discovered them an hour later after spending a hitherto pleasant morning meandering around Target. I called Geico, a man showed up in a truck, and I sat there sheepishly with my cart full of paper towels and gingerbread coffee creamer. It wasn't a big deal: twenty minutes lost, maybe. Half an hour. 

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Dec
15
2011

Splendid Thing: Flula Borg

Cape Town can wait; have you seen these videos by a guy called Flula Borg? I know Flula Borg sounds like the kind of noise you make when you're sneezing really violently—"FLULA BORG!" "Bless you!"—but Flula Borg is actually a semi-famous German guy living in Los Angeles who makes hilarious videos about the weirdness of certain English idioms. 

Take this one about the phrase "the proof is in the pudding," for instance:

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Dec
18
2011

Let's Talk About My Vacation, Part 2: So I Think I'm Going To Move To Cape Town

First of all, I'm just going to put it out there right now: South Africa is my new favorite country. Apologies to Vietnam, which has now had to cede its title, and my condolences also to Paris, which I must ask—awkward though it is; we've got some history—to surrender its sash, gown, and baguette-shaped trophy, and hand over that personalized "Holly's favorite city" plaque to its new rightful owner: the wonderful, gorgeous, glorious Cape Town.

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Dec
26
2011

We Had Ourselves A Merry Little Christmas

My Christmas stocking contained both deodorant and concealer, which leads me to believe that Santa Claus is telling me to take a hint. Then again, my brother Tom received tooth-whitening products from no fewer than two separate family members, one of whom was me. (We don't only give each other personal hygiene items for Christmas, in case you were wondering. Nope, they work quite well for birthdays as well.)

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Dec
28
2011

Songs That Drove My Neighbors Crazy in 2011

I am of the school of thought that if a song sounds good played once, it sounds even better played ten times in succession. That makes sense, right? Of course it does. I do this with every single song I decide I've fallen in love with, until it is ingrained indelibly on my brain for the rest of my life, and this particular habit of mine is how I still know most of the lyrics to the entire Jon Bon Jovi canon of 1994 to 1995. Hey, I never said it was a useful habit.

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