We Need To Talk About Evan Dando

You guys, I am worried about Evan Dando. We all know Evan Dando, right? He is the lead singer of 90s indie band the Lemonheads, and also my pretend boyfriend. He has, for a great many years, held the number one spot on my list. What list, you say? You know, the list: the one you make in your head of the celebrities who, if they one day showed up at your front door and were all "you and me, baby, how about it?", would cause your partner just to look at you, shrug, and say "Eh, go ahead, I guess. He's on the list."

Nov

03

2011

Crazy Thoughts I Have Had Recently Related To How I Might Check "Talk To Evan Dando" Off My Life List

1. Maybe he has a Google alert set up on his name and he'll read my last blog post about him and leave a comment and then I'll leave a comment back and that'll count as talking.

2. Maybe he has a Google alert set up on his name and he'll read this blog post about him and leave a comment, and I'll leave a comment back and that'll still count as talking.

Nov

06

2011

And Now For Some Other Stuff

Okay, it's getting a little too All Evan Dando All The Time around here, so I think maybe it's time for me to stop. Incidentally, "I think maybe it's time for me to stop" was the very same thing I said out loud a few days ago, when I found myself deep in an Internet wormhole, looking at pictures of Evan Dando's mother's Christmas tree on her Facebook page. I don't know how this happened, honestly. One minute I was watching YouTube videos of acoustic Lemonheads performances, the next I was admiring Mrs Dando's ornaments.

Nov

08

2011

Cold Is A Four Letter Word

Hey, you know what nobody wants to hear about? Your cold. In fact, on the Yeah, Don't Tell Me About That scale, your cold falls somewhere just below that crazy dream you had last night and a mere smidge above a detailed description of whatever you just ate. And by "you" and "your," we are obviously talking about "me" and "my." Nope, I am under no illusion whatsoever that you give any sort of fig (jellied? preserved? fresh from the salad bar at Whole Foods?) about my cold.

Nov

13

2011

True Life: I Was A Pregnant Alien

I spent the weekend at Camp Mighty in Palm Springs, where I had the most wonderful time. It was kind of like those girls' getaways you always read about in magazines that tell you to do things like go on girls' getaways—right after you buy yourself fresh flowers every week and just before you sprinkle organic flax on your oatmeal, obviously—except a hundred times better because I got to dress up as a pregnant alien.

Say what now? Oh, you heard me.

Nov

15

2011

How Not To Be That Person Everyone Hates On The Plane

Okay, let's start at the gate. We should really start a little bit before the gate, in the line going through airport security, but I'm going to give That Person Everyone Hates On The Plane the benefit of the doubt and assume that he or she hasn't watched the news or got on the Internet in the last five years, because that is the only excuse he or she has for trying to bring through that 10-oz bottle of Banana Boat sunscreen.

Nov

21

2011

Charlie "Cat" Burns: 2002-2011

cahrlie the cat in a sweater

Our beloved cat, Charlie, a fixture in our little family for the last nine years, passed away on Saturday while we were in transit from Paris to Cape Town. As you can imagine, this is the most spectacularly horrible start to our vacation, and neither of us much feels like being here. I'll write more about it when my heart stops breaking, but I'm not sure I know when that will be.