Tell me, have you ever been to a Lenscrafters? I had an appointment there for an eye exam this afternoon and it was such a bizarre experience that I don't think I've fully processed it yet. The only way I can think to explain it is....well, have you seen Austin Powers?

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Friends, you have not experienced the absurd until you have been squired around a Mexican Wal-Mart by your enormous Mexican bodyguard, both of you searching in vain for vanilla extract.

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When I first got the email asking me if I’d like to review the Viliv X70EX I forwarded it straight to Sean. “This gadget looks cool,” I wrote. “But I have no idea what it is.” Sean wrote me back so fast that he must have got whiplash doing it. “THAT IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER,” he said.

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Obviously I am the world's most generous person at the moment, a sort of female Santa Claus/Dalai Lama mash-up with bangs, if you will, spreading joy and light wherever I go (as long as I've had my coffee first.) (Which I haven't yet. Don't mess with me.)

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Are you guys watching this show? I mean, honestly, it's genius. We started off pooh-poohing it, mostly because it looked like a rip-off of The Office---which we also started out pooh-poohing because it looked like a rip-off of the British Office---but now I would hasten to go out on a limb and suggest that perhaps we like Parks and Recreation even better than The Office. (Not as much as 30 Rock, though. Boy, there is a real shifting hierarchy to this Thursday night TV! We live such wild lives!

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You know how you thought you'd seen the last of my wedding? WELL, GUESS WHAT SUCKAS, IT'S BACK. I hope you pictured me wearing a pair of really badass sunglasses when you read that. Maybe also throwing the devil horns and doing a couple of roundhouse kicks.

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I may have mentioned this before but my apartment is tiny. We have a bedroom, a bathroom, a living room, and a kitchen, and basically that's it. Please don't tell me that there are people who have rooms in their house that exist solely for the purpose of containing a washing machine and dryer, because frankly I don't think I could take it. First I'd faint with jealousy---the space! imagine the space!

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Turns out that when you send Barack and Michelle Obama one of your wedding invitations, they go one better than sending you a Crate & Barrel vase in return. This baby's a framer, don't you think?

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This is Charlie and Sadie wishing you a Happy Christmas, and if you don't celebrate Christmas, they're wishing you a really kickass Friday. Charlie is wearing his handsome green and red striped holiday sweater---very big for 2010, according to his sources in Paris---and Sadie is wearing what her embarrassing mother and father cloyingly refer to as her "pretty pretty Christmas dress."

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Before I tell you about my Christmas, which was excellent, I am going to tell you about my day after Christmas, which---if we are being authentic---I would call Boxing Day, for this is what English people call the day after Christmas, did you know that? I could be responsible and look it up on Wikipedia for you but instead I'm just going tell you that I think it has something to do with boxing up all the food you didn't eat on Christmas Day and giving it to the poor people....or, hmm, something like that. Yeah, you'd better just look it up on Wikipedia, I'm probably wrong.

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How old were you when you took your driving test? Sixteen, maybe? Seventeen or eighteen? My brother Tom took his yesterday. He's turning 27 in three months.

Luckily, he passed---can you imagine the humiliation of failing your driving test at 26, after you've been learning (on and off) for ten years? Way worse than failing at sixteen because you drove through a stop sign. Yeah, whatever, I drove through a stop sign the first time I took my driving test, don't make a big deal of it or anything. Come on! It was really hard to see where the line was!

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I would like to begin this post by announcing something that has just occured to me: by the end of today, I will have eaten cheese for all three meals. I had cream cheese on my bagel this morning, and a hefty selection of leftover Christmas Eve cheese and crackers for lunch.

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