Nov
04
2008

Teetering On The Edge Of History And All I Can Think About Is Vanilla Frosting

So November's shaping up to be a pretty exciting month, I think. For a start, a TJ Maxx just opened in downtown San Francisco---a first! We have a Marshalls, yes, but you'll get your stuff stolen there---and I've been looking forward to this moment for two months, ever since Moose and I passed a sign on the freeway that said TJ MAXX COMING SOON.

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Nov
05
2008

Yes You Did!

I don't think there's much to be said about the presidential election that hasn't been said already. Sean and I started the day on tenterhooks, hearts hammering and---hell, what am I saying, we started the year on tenterhooks. We watched CNN pretty much every night of the week in 2008, tuned in obsessively to all of the debates, followed every blip and blurb on Barack Obama, crossed our fingers tight, tight, tight.

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Nov
07
2008

Beware Of Creeps

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make: there are perverts in our midst. Well, not our midst---I don't think this site has any shady weirdos in tattered trench coats and dark glasses reading it, although, come to think of it, I am finding that I need to block at least one perv on Flickr every day---but rather the more.....general midst. Would you like examples? Here are examples.

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Nov
20
2008

On Not Having To Make My Own Bed For The Whole Of Next Week

On Monday, I am getting on a plane and flying to Las Vegas for work, where I will spend two full days stationed at the airport, reporting on the Thanksgiving travel scene. If you live in the Vegas area, this means you might actually see me on your TV at some point---or hear me on your radio---and if that happens, I want you to be kind. I have to arrive at the airport at 5:30am both days, you see, which means getting up somewhere around....well, I don't even want to think about it. You can think about it for me, okay?

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Nov
23
2008

WE TV

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WE TV stands, I believe, for "Women's Entertainment Television" and it is number 502 on my cable box. It is terrible for many, many reasons, and yet it is fantastic for exactly two. What are those two reasons? Well, they are "Bridezillas" and "My Fabulous Wedding." I should know. I have spent a large chunk of my weekend invested in them both.

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Nov
24
2008

Someone To (Bay)Watch Over Me

When I was in Orlando for work in May, I stayed at a hotel that was opposite Downtown Disney, and on my first night---tired, exhausted, and not in the mood for driving---I crossed the street and wandered around, looking for a place to have a quick dinner. After several minutes, I began to feel very, very conspicuous. The reason? I was the only person---and I mean the only person---without kids. In fact, I was the only person on my own. I decided then and there that was no sadder place to be alone than Downtown Disney.

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Nov
30
2008

Sprite Zero

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Drinking Sprite reminds me of the time I caught some third world parasite in Burma and ended up feeling sicker than I've ever felt in my life. No, scratch that, drinking Sprite reminds me of recovering from that third world parasite---the glorious inching towards feeling slightly better, then slightly better than that, then slightly better than that---and that is why I love Sprite: I never drink it unless I can justify it as the only thing that'll make me feel better.

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