Mar
12
2007

Reason #736293 We're A Match Made In Heaven: A Mutual Appreciation Of Linguistic Oneupmanship, As Discovered In The Car On The W

"Hey Hol, did you know that both 'indexes' and 'indices' are correct?"

"Uh, yes. Actually, I think I did know that."

"Well, don't you think that's kind of unfair?"

"Unfair? What do you mean, unfair?"

"Well, say you use 'indices' in conversation. Then people know that you know a little something, right?"

"Right."

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Mar
13
2007

Take Me, I'm Yours

In the hallway of my apartment building, where roughly thirty or forty people live, there is a large marble table.

(I do not mean, incidentally, that thirty or forty people live in the hallway of my apartment building, rather in the building itself, though I assume you're smart enough to figure that out for yourselves, and also, come on, think about it, how would thirty or forty people live in a hallway? I mean, that would be kind of awkward when someone needed to get undressed. Even for San Francisco.)

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Mar
15
2007

Extremely Shallow Film Reviews, Part One: Stranger Than Fiction, Starring Will Ferrell

So the movie was fairly enjoyable, providing you were willing to suspend disbelief entirely, overlook several large plot flaws and loopholes, and admit to yourself that you were basically watching the poor man's Adaptation combined with the Cliff's Notes to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but what I really loved about Stranger Than Fiction---aside from the fact that it landed in my mailbox with minimum effort on my part, thanks to whichever handsome geek invented Netflix---was Maggie Gyllenhaal's hair.

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Mar
22
2007

There's No Place Like ... Well, You Know

Here are some things that normal people like and I don't: Most soups, Ben Affleck, American Idol, sushi, that guy with the long hair from Lost, Jolly Ranchers, Desperate Housewives, Chex mix, the movie "What Women Want," watermelon, watermelon-flavored things, grape-flavored things (but not grapes), and Las Vegas.

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Mar
23
2007

Everybody Makes Mistakes, But Usually The Mistakes Are Not Quite This Awesome

Until around 9:34pm this evening, I thought (foolishly) that this had been the best part of my day:

new green coat from H&M

And then, during a commercial break in Grey's Anatomy, I discovered this. And just like that, my new spring coat---despite costing only $35 at H&M and also, I am quite sure, being the color of heaven itself---became the second best part of my day. How wrong I was before 9:34pm! How ill-informed!

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Mar
30
2007

Because I Don't Know About You, But I've Always Been Successful At Picking Up Dates In The Street

Not that I wish to insinuate that I am constantly being hit on---indeed, it happens infrequently, so infrequently, in fact, that perhaps I should be offended---but I have been propositioned so wholly inappopriately twice in the last 24 hours that I am beginning to suspect a Public Service Announcement has been distributed, with a picture of me and a plea to please FLIRT BADLY WITH THIS GIRL IN SUDDEN AND UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS.

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