Jun
01
2006

Go Placidly Amid The Noise And Haste

I've always been convinced that I'm going to die in a plane crash. I think it's a case of probability, of the idea that I'll only be able to take a certain number of flights before my luck runs out. I tend to think of flying in terms of those customer loyalty programs you get at coffee shops and sandwich places, where they stamp your card for the first nineteen Moccachinos you buy and then give you the twentieth one for free. I've taken countless, countless plane journeys over the last 26 years. I'm always wondering how many times my card has been stamped.

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Jun
05
2006

Jemima's Last Hurrah

Much to the disappointment of Jemima's fiance, her bachelorette weekend did not involve any semi-nude pillow fights. Much to his relief---and also to mine---it also did not involve male strippers in firemen costumes. Instead, we drank champagne and pineapple juice on the beach, gave ourselves impromptu pedicures on the back deck, baked in the sun while reading terrible books, and periodically shouted out, "Oh my god, Jemima!

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Jun
07
2006

This Is Pretty Perfect

On my last weekend in London, we decided we were going to have an adventure. We dubbed the day we'd have it Adventure Sunday and we talked about Adventure Sunday all week. In the end, it was decided that we'd have too much to do on Adventure Sunday to squeeze it all into one day, so we took a vote and came to the decision that we'd need to instigate Adventure Monday as well. Monday, as the fates would have it, was a public holiday, so that worked out pretty nicely. We don't have Memorial Day in England, but thank goodness for Whitsun, eh?

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Jun
14
2006

On the Road

By the way, in case you were wondering, I spent yesterday between the hours of nine and 1am in hell. Perhaps you haven't been there, but hell is a speeding car on I-95, except it's not always speeding because it gets stuck in traffic in Washington D.C., during which time you lean excitedly out of the window, hoping to perhaps see Amalah or Emily or Sweetney in the car next to you. Food in hell---because whoops!

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Jun
16
2006

Long Train Running

Remember yesterday when I said that hell was being in a car for fifteen hours? Well, I changed my mind. After sitting on an Amtrak train for nineteen and a half hours, I don't even think, like Jean-Paul Sartre says, that "hell is other people." Oh no, I've discovered what hell really is. Hell isn't other people, hell is watching other people play Tetris and not knowing them well enough to be able to show them where they're going wrong.

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Jun
19
2006

Almost Gone

I'm not sure what has been the most harrowing part of the last two days---attempting to pack up all of my worldly belongings in preparation for the big move, or discovering, upon sorting through the DVD collection, that I have somehow come to own the movie "Monster In Law," starring Jennifer Lopez. Sean swears it was sent to him for free by some DVD club he joined briefly, but if that's the case, I'd like to know why it was hidden at the back of the shelf behind all of the other DVDs, and also WHY IT WAS OPEN.

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