Travel


Apr
11
2007

Secret Bachelor Wednesday Is The New Secret Bachelor Tuesday

First, I feel compelled to tell you that before I could get started on this recap, I had to bribe myself with a large bowl of Thin Mint cookie ice cream in order to convince myself to relive the horrendous 90 minutes of lowest common denominator programming I had to sit through yesterday. (What, you didn't know the Girl Scouts made Thin Mint ice cream now, as well as regular Thin Mint cookies? Because they do. The bitches. It's alright for them; they're eight years old. They don't have hips. They don't care.)

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Oct
31
2006

I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues

Since we've been back from our trip around Asia, we've been doing little more than sleeping and eating. You know how people say "oh, all we've been doing is sleeping and eating" and yet you know that actually, no, they've probably also been watching television and going to the grocery store and, you know, showering and stuff?

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Oct
21
2006

Paradise Lost

At this point, you probably have a few questions for me. Like, when am I ever going to stop this traveling nonsense and go home? And why do I get to spend my days lolling around here while you're somewhere cold, gray, and rainy, putting on another sweater to avoid the chill and cursing the fact that you left your umbrella at the office, and wouldn't it be nice if something kind of awful could happen while I was enjoying the white sand and turquoise water of the Gulf of Thailand, so that then you'd feel a little bit better about the unjustness of it all?

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Oct
05
2006

Permission To Join The Adrenaline Club

Today we finally roused ourselves from our cultural inertia long enough to decide that since we only had a few days left in Chiang Mai, we should probably Do Something. And I don’t know about you, but when I think about Doing Something, I usually think about going for an elephant ride. And then trekking barefoot through the jungle. And then white-water rafting. And then visiting several obscure hill tribes, who obviously aren’t that obscure, because even though they live in mud huts, they still have cable television—they do!

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Oct
02
2006

Down And Out In Chiang Mai

I seem to have some sort of head cold. At least, let's all hope it's a head cold, because when you haven't got Dr. Google on 24-hour standby, you're apt to start flicking through the "Illnesses and Diseases" section of the Lonely Planet Southeast Asia instead and finding that why yes, you do have a sore throat, body aches, and small itchy spots on the inside of your elbow, so quite obviously you have Japenese Encephalitis. And malaria. And dengue fever. And SARS.

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Sep
29
2006

Also, It Would Be Hard If You Had A Problem Telling The Difference Between Yellow And Orange

Pardon me if you can't read this properly; not only am I using a keyboard on which all the letters have been rubbed off, leaving only plain black keys which I am stabbing at indeterminately, but I've also just stepped off a bus after ten hours curled in the fetal position, and my fingers are still numb from having had them stuffed in my ears the whole night in a feeble attempt to block out the intermittent bursts of Thai polka music that spewed forth from the radio at one and two and three a.m, like the wake-up call from hell.

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