Sean


Oct
15
2008

I Think This Might Be What They Call A Plot Twist

The funniest thing about the day is that it starts out badly. Having finally mastered the stovetop espresso pot in our tiny kitchen, I pour inky liquid into two tiny cups and hold them up proudly for Sean. On my first sip, I realize I've mistaken the salt for the sugar. There are two ways to realize that you've mistaken the salt for the sugar and this way is the worst one. As I'm spitting the briny mouthful back into the sink, the toast pops up, black and smoldering. Just like that, our first breakfast in Rome is ruined.

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Sep
20
2008

On Doing The Thing You, Uh, Didn't Mean To Do

So here is what happens when you're staying in Salinas, California, and it's 9:30 at night and you've already eaten the town's best Mexican food, and the only other possibility the evening holds is heading back to your soulless room at the Marriott Residence Inn, making some peppermint tea at the 24-hour tea-making station in the hotel lobby, breaking open one of those 100-calorie bags of Swedish fish, and watching two straight hours of Ballot Bowl on CNN.

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Sep
18
2008

On Doing The Thing You Think You Cannot Do

I guess I never really told you that much about scuba diving, did I? And yes, I know I’m supposed to capitalize SCUBA---it’s actually an acronym for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus; did you know that? Because if you ever decide to get certified, IT’S ON THE TEST, YOU’RE WELCOME—but I hope you'll bear with me if I decide not to. As you can see, I already make far too much use of the Caps Lock button.

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Aug
24
2008

Blast From the Past

Having a subscription to Us Weekly has it benefits. I recently won a Starbucks card at work, for instance, after I entered a competition in which one had to identify a handful of famous people's children from pictures cut out of magazines. I got 'em all---Suri Cruise, Apple Paltrow, even Liam Spelling, if you can believe it---except for one elusive celebrity spawn, who turned out to be the daughter of one of the members of Wilson Phillips, which was a little esoteric, if you ask me, because who listens to Wilson Phillips anymore?

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Jul
04
2008

I Think It's A Sign


On the pavement last night on the way to dinner. The Universe is definitely trying to tell me something.

(PS: Happy Fourth of July! Sean is 32 today and we are celebrating with some eight dollar beers at the baseball stadium while watching a bunch of grown men run around in circles chasing after a ball. I bet you can't guess which one of us thought that would be a really super awesome fun thing to do.)

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Jan
23
2008

Bodily Fluids: Always Good When You Want To Change The Subject

Sean is in the living room, playing tennis. Where do we live, you ask, the Playboy Mansion? Buckingham Palace? What a thing to be doing in the living room! And in argyle socks, no less.

But no, no nets have been erected between the couch and the TV, no umpire chairs set up. We have hardwood floors, not Astroturf, and really, the blaring neon of those tennis balls would go with nothing else in our color palette. So how has this modern miracle been manufactured, you're thinking, why is he swinging a racket in the spot she normally watches Oprah?

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