Reasons I'll Need Therapy


Dec
09
2008

Friends Don't Let Friends Wear Appliqued Vests

So I was going to make this post a Bad Decision Tuesday, because a) I figured we were due for one of those, and b) I found an awesome stash of pictures featuring my dinner-plate-sized glasses the other day, as well as another one I plan to turn into a photo essay soon entitled That Year I Dressed Like a Dude. But then I realized hey, who needs a Bad Decision Tuesday featuring terrible fashion choices from the past when I could just write a regular old blog post featuring terrible fashion choices from the party I just got home from fifteen minutes ago? 

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Nov
07
2008

Beware Of Creeps

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make: there are perverts in our midst. Well, not our midst---I don't think this site has any shady weirdos in tattered trench coats and dark glasses reading it, although, come to think of it, I am finding that I need to block at least one perv on Flickr every day---but rather the more.....general midst. Would you like examples? Here are examples.

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Oct
05
2008

Call Me Martha

I had a rather overzealous goal this weekend of painting the front hallway, and even though I knew it was a rather overzealous goal, I kept it on my to-do list anyway, just in case. "You're not going to do it," said Sean, and I said "I might! You never know!" and then I went to two different hardware stores to get paint samples in various shades of dark red.

And......yeah. That was as far as I got, incidentally, with the painting of the front hallway. Whoops. Better luck next time! Play again soon!

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Sep
28
2008

Wishing You A Lifetime Of Wedgies, Whoever You May Be

I think we can all agree that witnessing a man taking a crap in public---right there on the street, a mere two blocks from your house---is likely to put a damper on anyone's afternoon. And yes, this is an entirely true story. However, when witnessing a man taking a crap in public is not the most disturbing thing that happens to you all day: well, then you've got a problem.

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Sep
20
2008

On Doing The Thing You, Uh, Didn't Mean To Do

So here is what happens when you're staying in Salinas, California, and it's 9:30 at night and you've already eaten the town's best Mexican food, and the only other possibility the evening holds is heading back to your soulless room at the Marriott Residence Inn, making some peppermint tea at the 24-hour tea-making station in the hotel lobby, breaking open one of those 100-calorie bags of Swedish fish, and watching two straight hours of Ballot Bowl on CNN.

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Aug
21
2008

Anger Management

A woman was rude to me last night and it made me so angry that I had to go into the shop next door and buy an expensive sea salt shower gel to make myself feel better. And I did feel better, for about five seconds, but then I kind of felt worse again, because what kind of person needs to buy an expensive sea salt shower gel to make themselves feel better? Hmm, me, I guess, that's who.

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