You know what's pretty awful?
You know what's pretty awful?
I believe this may be a picture of me wearing them; Susie very kindly e-mailed it to me after (probably) wetting herself upon finding it in the family photo album. Somewhere I have one where I am wearing the same glasses---or at least some very similar ones---plus some very high-waisted tapered jeans, a plaid flannel shirt that's three sizes too big AND TUCKED IN, and some kind of medallion that I can only hope I borrowed from someone else and didn't actually PART WITH CASH FOR.
So have you been wondering what's become of my ear? You know, the one that just fell apart in my hand and made for some pretty gross and yet fascinating photography? So funny you should ask! Because today I had it sewn up and it was SUCH a blast. Anyone need any Percocet by the way? Because I have a prescription for 50.
My siblings and I have pretty much always been scattered across the world. I was 11 when I left Hong Kong, where my family was living at the time, to attend boarding school in England (oh trust me, we are going to have SO MUCH FUN with that in another post.
So do people still go to Pizza Hut?
When someone has died and we are told about it, so often our first inclination is to say, "But I only saw him a few days ago!" We say it incredulously, hand against mouth, the mouth open: "The last time I saw him he was fine!" But oh, the terrible insignificance of the occasion. Should we have known? If only we had known! And that time we ran into him downtown a few weeks ago, should we have had lunch with him when he'd asked?
A few weeks ago, I was on a plane to San Francisco, half dozing while I listened to my iPod and wondering why on earth I'd needed to get up at 4am if my plane hadn't actually left the airport until 8:30am (it was something to do with the crew needing to push the snooze button a few more times because they hadn't got the Required Amount Of Sleep the night before and oooh, that is such a good one, I'm going to use that next time I'm late for work, except my Required Amount of Sleep is 12 hours and I don't fly planes) when I reached up to adjust my earphone, and MY EAR FELL APART IN MY HAND.
I haven't slept in my own bed in almost two weeks. Something is happening to my bathroom floor which requires some men coming in to take my bathtub out and put it in the kitchen, then do some general smashing around with power tools, then go away and not show up for a while. I left them a tupperware container of homemade cookies this morning in a desperate bid to bribe them into showing up more frequently and taking my tub out of the kitchen and removing their weird Big Gulp containers from my coffee table and, you know, resuming the job they started ten days ago, so we'll see.
Oh, the awkwardness of the first post!
So let's talk about me. That always helps. First of all, I'd like to establish a few things. Are you sitting comfortably? Right then. Here we are: