Me, Me, Me, Me, Me


Aug
23
2010

Love Stinks, But In A Good Way

I know it sounds like I can't shut up about my new commute---I've only been doing it for a few weeks and I've already written about it here and here---but there's a part of it I enjoy more than any other part, and it's this: the seven seconds it takes me to walk up the stairs from the underground platform to the slightly-less-underground station. (I have vowed to always take the stairs, see, instead of the escalator.

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Aug
18
2010

Things Have Changed

Your eyes do not deceive you, I do indeed have a new website. Well, not a new website; more like a gently and professionally buffed-up one. A redesign, I believe the kids are calling it, though I prefer to call it a small cosmetic surgery: the equivalent of calf implants, perhaps. Just a little boost!

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Aug
10
2010

Things That Happened To Me In New York

Think of some things that give you a sinking feeling. Here, I'll help you out: pouring yourself a nice cup of coffee and discovering you're out of half and half. Shutting the front door behind you and realizing you've forgotten your keys. Getting ready to pay the taxi driver in rush hour in the middle of Manhattan and not being able to find your wallet in your purse. Ooh, did that last one make you shiver with horror? Welcome to last Thursday night!

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Jul
25
2010

Words And Phrases I Would Become President Of The World Just To Be Able To Ban, Even If It Meant Doing A Lot Of Paperwork

In any way, shape, or form
Kthxbai
Moms' night out
Put a bug in his ear
Just sayin'
Woot
I'm not going to lie...
Epic fail
Where are you at?
Awesomesauce
Pick your brain
I can haz _____?
I heart you
Internets
Teh Internets
Ridonculous
If you will
Old school
I'm so blessed
Peace (when someone uses it as their sign-off in an email, like "Talk to you soon. Peace, Holly")
Coming down the pike
So be it

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May
04
2010

This Is Long And Kind Of Pointless

So hi, what have you been up to? Me, I've just been flirting with two mortgage companies. Did you know you could do that? I had no idea! Turns out if you decide to go with one mortgage company because it's a better deal and you call the other mortgage company to break up with them, the other mortgage company will suddenly get all macho on you, flex its muscles above its head, and say, in its deepest voice, "I WILL MATCH THAT. HEAR ME ROAR." And then, hey, what do you know, suddenly the other mortgage company is the better deal.

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Mar
17
2010

Things To Do Before Having A Baby

One of the things I wasn't expecting about marriage is how soon afterwards you start thinking about having kids. I'm sure it's not this way for everyone, of course---plenty of people have kids without being married, plenty of people get married and don't want kids---but for me, at least, it's been something of an eye-opener. And when I say it's been something of an eye-opener, I want you to imagine someone dropping a bucketful of ice down the back of my shirt just as I'm starting to fall asleep. That kind of eye opener.

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Mar
02
2010

Good Old Days

In the early summer of 1994, when I was just fourteen, my friend Caroline gave me a mix tape to listen to one night. Actually, side A was a mix, but side B was an album she'd recorded from someone else, just something to fill in the blank space. I took that tape into my tiny boarding school dormitory, fed it into my walkman, and listened to it through my headphones in the dark. I don't even remember what was on side A now, but side B mesmerized me like a magic trick.

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Feb
11
2010

What I Did On My Birthday, The World's Longest Essay About Nothing

Before I shut up about it once and for all, I would like to tell you a little bit about my birthday. First of all, if you can swing it, I highly recommend taking the day off work for your birthday, particularly if your birthday is on a Monday. This way you can stay in bed until 11am, reading your new library book (Lorrie Moore's A Gate at the Stairs, very enjoyable so far), periodically cackling to yourself with self-important glee because NO MORNING MEETING FOR YOU HAHAHA.

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Feb
04
2010

In Other News, The Pope Is Catholic

On Monday, I went to the gym for the first time in.....well, I don't think I'm ready to reveal that yet. It's too embarrassing. But it was in a month beginning with "A." No, not April! I'm not that lazy. Oh alright, it was August. Yes, friends, before Monday, I hadn't been to the gym---which, I should point out, is LOCATED IN THE LOBBY OF MY OFFICE BUILDING, NOT LIKE I NEVER SEE IT OR ANYTHING---since August. Though in my defence, it was the very end of August. Like, maybe a week or so before the wedding. Maybe August 28th.

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