One of the nice things about marrying a person you've known for six hundred bajillion years is that there's a pretty good chance his parents still live in the town where you met. My parents used to live there too, of course, which makes any visit back an exercise in fitful nostalgia. There's your old house, says Sean as we drive past it, and I crane my neck to peer into the kitchen. That's where my brother and sister used to wait for the school bus. There's the store where we bought our bread and our milk.

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I know it sounds like I can't shut up about my new commute---I've only been doing it for a few weeks and I've already written about it here and here---but there's a part of it I enjoy more than any other part, and it's this: the seven seconds it takes me to walk up the stairs from the underground platform to the slightly-less-underground station. (I have vowed to always take the stairs, see, instead of the escalator.

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Your eyes do not deceive you, I do indeed have a new website. Well, not a new website; more like a gently and professionally buffed-up one. A redesign, I believe the kids are calling it, though I prefer to call it a small cosmetic surgery: the equivalent of calf implants, perhaps. Just a little boost!

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Think of some things that give you a sinking feeling. Here, I'll help you out: pouring yourself a nice cup of coffee and discovering you're out of half and half. Shutting the front door behind you and realizing you've forgotten your keys. Getting ready to pay the taxi driver in rush hour in the middle of Manhattan and not being able to find your wallet in your purse. Ooh, did that last one make you shiver with horror? Welcome to last Thursday night!

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In any way, shape, or form
Kthxbai
Moms' night out
Put a bug in his ear
Just sayin'
Woot
I'm not going to lie...
Epic fail
Where are you at?
Awesomesauce
Pick your brain
I can haz _____?
I heart you
Internets
Teh Internets
Ridonculous
If you will
Old school
I'm so blessed
Peace (when someone uses it as their sign-off in an email, like "Talk to you soon. Peace, Holly")
Coming down the pike
So be it

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So hi, what have you been up to? Me, I've just been flirting with two mortgage companies. Did you know you could do that? I had no idea! Turns out if you decide to go with one mortgage company because it's a better deal and you call the other mortgage company to break up with them, the other mortgage company will suddenly get all macho on you, flex its muscles above its head, and say, in its deepest voice, "I WILL MATCH THAT. HEAR ME ROAR." And then, hey, what do you know, suddenly the other mortgage company is the better deal.

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One of the things I wasn't expecting about marriage is how soon afterwards you start thinking about having kids. I'm sure it's not this way for everyone, of course---plenty of people have kids without being married, plenty of people get married and don't want kids---but for me, at least, it's been something of an eye-opener. And when I say it's been something of an eye-opener, I want you to imagine someone dropping a bucketful of ice down the back of my shirt just as I'm starting to fall asleep. That kind of eye opener.

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In the early summer of 1994, when I was just fourteen, my friend Caroline gave me a mix tape to listen to one night. Actually, side A was a mix, but side B was an album she'd recorded from someone else, just something to fill in the blank space. I took that tape into my tiny boarding school dormitory, fed it into my walkman, and listened to it through my headphones in the dark. I don't even remember what was on side A now, but side B mesmerized me like a magic trick.

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I got some weird looks this morning as I walked from my desk to the office kitchen. And then I got a few more when I walked from my desk to the office bathroom.

Awesome, I thought. I have a poppy seed from that bagel stuck in my teeth. Either that or my dress is tucked into my tights at the back again. I was even wearing the same dress.

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Before I shut up about it once and for all, I would like to tell you a little bit about my birthday. First of all, if you can swing it, I highly recommend taking the day off work for your birthday, particularly if your birthday is on a Monday. This way you can stay in bed until 11am, reading your new library book (Lorrie Moore's A Gate at the Stairs, very enjoyable so far), periodically cackling to yourself with self-important glee because NO MORNING MEETING FOR YOU HAHAHA.

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