Life in Singapore


Oct
05
2006

Goodbye To All That

I won't be posting for the next twelve days, since we're leaving for Burma this afternoon, and---prepare yourself---THEY DON'T HAVE THE INTERNET THERE.

(Pick yourself up off the floor. You look kind of weird like that.)

Actually, they do sort of have the Internet, it's just that you're not allowed to access it, just in case, you know, you accidentally find out some news or something and realize that not all countries are run by abominable military regimes.

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Jul
11
2006

Taxicab Confessions

My brother Luke, who usually knows about these kinds of things, taught me that it's polite to call the taxi drivers in Singapore "uncle." And since taxis are cheap here, and we therefore use them rather a lot, I've suddenly found myself with a whole bunch of uncles, which, if I were into geneology and all that, would really be kind of a bitch when it came to drawing my family tree. "Hello uncle!" I'll say, clambering across the plastic-covered seat, nearly knocking myself in the head with the air freshener dangling from the ceiling.

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Jun
16
2006

Long Train Running

Remember yesterday when I said that hell was being in a car for fifteen hours? Well, I changed my mind. After sitting on an Amtrak train for nineteen and a half hours, I don't even think, like Jean-Paul Sartre says, that "hell is other people." Oh no, I've discovered what hell really is. Hell isn't other people, hell is watching other people play Tetris and not knowing them well enough to be able to show them where they're going wrong.

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Jun
14
2006

On the Road

By the way, in case you were wondering, I spent yesterday between the hours of nine and 1am in hell. Perhaps you haven't been there, but hell is a speeding car on I-95, except it's not always speeding because it gets stuck in traffic in Washington D.C., during which time you lean excitedly out of the window, hoping to perhaps see Amalah or Emily or Sweetney in the car next to you. Food in hell---because whoops!

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Jun
07
2006

This Is Pretty Perfect

On my last weekend in London, we decided we were going to have an adventure. We dubbed the day we'd have it Adventure Sunday and we talked about Adventure Sunday all week. In the end, it was decided that we'd have too much to do on Adventure Sunday to squeeze it all into one day, so we took a vote and came to the decision that we'd need to instigate Adventure Monday as well. Monday, as the fates would have it, was a public holiday, so that worked out pretty nicely. We don't have Memorial Day in England, but thank goodness for Whitsun, eh?

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Jun
05
2006

Jemima's Last Hurrah

Much to the disappointment of Jemima's fiance, her bachelorette weekend did not involve any semi-nude pillow fights. Much to his relief---and also to mine---it also did not involve male strippers in firemen costumes. Instead, we drank champagne and pineapple juice on the beach, gave ourselves impromptu pedicures on the back deck, baked in the sun while reading terrible books, and periodically shouted out, "Oh my god, Jemima!

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Jun
01
2006

Go Placidly Amid The Noise And Haste

I've always been convinced that I'm going to die in a plane crash. I think it's a case of probability, of the idea that I'll only be able to take a certain number of flights before my luck runs out. I tend to think of flying in terms of those customer loyalty programs you get at coffee shops and sandwich places, where they stamp your card for the first nineteen Moccachinos you buy and then give you the twentieth one for free. I've taken countless, countless plane journeys over the last 26 years. I'm always wondering how many times my card has been stamped.

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