Best! Things! Ever!


Five Things I Like Right Now

I feel like we've got to the point where a person can't write a post about the things she likes without someone wondering if it's a sponsored product review, so I just want to say before I begin that this is not sponsored, or a product review, or a sponsored product review. I'm not trying to sell you anything here, I just miss the days when you could read about something you liked on a blog and think "ooh, I think I'd like that thing too!" and maybe go out and buy it, and neither party would feel a little weird about it.

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The Mascara Championships: Part One

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You, Me, New York

Are you going to BlogHer? I think we should have a drink together. That's if you want to have a drink with me, of course. Me, I'd love to have a drink with you: I think we could have some pretty good conversations about Tim Riggins if left in a room together with a bottle of wine, although if you switched the topic to nuclear engineering or sixteenth century Renaissance poetry halfway through, I guess I'd probably try and keep up. Don't expect too much, though; I'm much better talking about fictional television characters.

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I Am Trying To Ruin Your Diet

I went down to see my parents in San Diego last weekend, where I did what I always do when I'm down there: shop with my mother, watch HGTV with my father, and eat as much food as is humanly possible. For some people, a week in Maui is what it takes to push the re-set button. For me, it's a weekend at home.

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The Five Best Mispronunciations I've Ever Heard

“All the bells and whistles” as “all the Belgian whistles.” Someone said this on a phone call I was on once. I had to put myself on mute to snort.

“Providence” as “Pro-VYE-dence.” That was my friend Victoria when she was visiting me in Connecticut from England a million years ago and we saw a sign on the freeway. I still can’t read about Pro-VYE-dence, Rhode Island without pronouncing it like that in my head. It sounds kind of nice I think.

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Up In The Aghhhhh

I have decided that I cannot possibly go to the cinema anymore. When you go to the cinema, you see, you are entirely too dependent on the people around you to be reasonable and sane. Most people in the cinema are reasonable and sane, of course, but every now and then you get one bird-brained knucklehead who breaks the social contract---the social contract of, you know public sanity and reasonableness---and ends up ruining it for the rest of us.

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Are You Number 744?

Well, mother of pearl and sweet cracker sandwich: who'd have thought that there'd be over a thousand entries for last week's Clarisonic giveaway: 1,113 to be precise, which is a number so stupendously large to me that I can hardly believe it. If only there were a way to give away 1,113 Clarisonics, you know? But I guess that would make me Oprah. 

(Look under your seats, everyone! Do it right now! Just in case!)

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