Attention, attention! Cease whatever you are currently doing! I have found the world's most perfect workout top!
Perhaps you, unlike me, have not been on a ten year quest to find the world's most perfect workout top. In which case, you should skip this post and go roll around in your stack of already-perfect workout tops, you show-off. For me, the search for a perfect workout top has been a long and fruitless one---until now, that is.
Or, more accurately, until last weekend, when I spotted a stack of folded workout tops on a table at Costco, picked one up, made a noise somewhere between "hmm" and "eh" and dropped it in my cart between the bottle of olive oil the size of a bottle of whiskey and the bottle of whiskey the size of a small child's wading pool.
"Looks alright," I thought. "I need a new workout top."
And then I got home and tried it on and choirs sung from the eaves of my awful mirrored closets. It fit really, really.....well. It was tight in the parts you'd want it to be tight and looser in the parts you'd want it to be loose, and it was just a really really.....well-fitting workout top. See how I am at a loss to describe how well it fit? That's because I've never had to describe a well-fitting workout top before. BECAUSE THEY DON'T EXIST.
Except now they do. And they don't just fit well, these tops---I liked how mine hit me right below the hips but didn't cling to me there----but they perform incredibly well at the gym. After an intense 30 minutes on the elliptical machine, I tend to....well, let's just go with glow, shall we? But this top must have wicked all that glowing away or something, because I never felt or looked like I'd done anything more strenuous than a quick set of jumping jacks.
The first one I bought was a purple one. And then because I loved it so much, I went back the next weekend and bought three more: in lime green, coral, and black. It felt a little extravagant, but they're only $12.99 each, and now I never have to buy another workout top ever again in my life.
I couldn't find a link to purchase them online, but I did find this fairly hilarious video that shows exactly what they look like and gives their official name: the Kirkland Signature Yoga Top. If you want to get one, they'll be in the clothing section of your Costco, folded up on a table with some yoga pants (which I haven't tried.) Obviously it should go without saying that I have absolutely no affiliation with Costco or Kirkland and am not being compensated in the least for saying that I like their workout tops. I am, however, finding that I'm actually going to the gym more, now that I have a new piece of clothing to wear there. Is that the oldest story in the book or what?