You guys, I love bagels. I love bagels so much. One of my interests on Facebook is even "bagels," that's how much I love bagels. I think it has something to do with being bagel-starved for the first fifteen years of my life---England, though I love it, is not so much the hotbed of bagel-making---and then desperately trying to make up for that bagel deprivation with a rampant and steady consumption of bagels since my move to the U.S.
Also, I think I just set the record for using "bagel" the most times in a paragraph. The above is 77 words and eight of them are bagel. Cleary, I was not lying about loving bagels.
Bagels, however, do not love me. Actually, they do love me, but they just love a very particular part of me: my thighs. To be fair to the bagels, it's probably the cream cheese that loves my thighs more, but I think the bagels probably have a particular fondness for them too. And as much as I love bagels, sometimes I would rather give that thigh-space to other things: things like ice cream, for instance, and macaroni and cheese with bacon.
So I have found kind of a stop-gap solution. I bought these things called Bagel Thins at Costco last week, which are kind of the poor man's bagel. Actually, they are more like the very very poor man's bagel, because they're, like, one-eighth the size of a normal bagel. They look like a bagel would look if it fell out of your car and then you accidentally backed over it when you were parking, and then ran over it again the other way when you straightening the car up.
However, they don't taste half bad. They taste sort of thin---I guess the proof is in the name---but they make a pretty good bagel substitute if you're trying to cut back on the bagel-eating without any sort of feeling of deprivation. We've also been using them for sandwiches this week (man, you buy a bag at Costco and you have to use them for everything), and they're a pretty good sandwich base too (better, even, than a real bagel, which I always find too thick and bready for sandwich-making.)
Bottom line, they're not going to replace bagels in my life by any stretch of the imagination. But I'm digging them right now because I can never resist the novelty of new food-related products, and also I'm going to have to wear a bikini in seven weeks when I go to Barbados. I mean, it's not like I'm going to give up the ice cream, am I, so something has to give.