Still Married After All These Months

Friday March 5th marked our six-month anniversary, which sounds really sweet until you realize that, aside from our one month anniversary back in October, we didn't really take much notice at all of all subsequent anniversaries, and I only really realized that we'd been married for six months last Friday when I was raising my Double-Double in celebration at In-N-Out and looking for something to toast.

To marriage! And cheeseburgers! Hurrah!

Before the wedding, I wondered if I would feel different after the wedding. I couldn't imagine feeling different. I mean, I could imagine feeling the SWEET SWEET RELIEF of not having a to-do list a mile long, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't imagine feeling.....well, married. How would that feel? Would it be weird? Would anything change?

I asked and you answered. I read through those answers the way you might read through an account of walking on the moon: fascinated but incapable of fully comprehending. The consensus was this: it just feels different. But different how, I wanted to know. Can't put my finger on it, you said. Cemented. Content. Calm. Permanent. Partnered.

Six months in, I want to tell you that it is different. How? Can't put my finger on it. I introduce Sean to someone as "my husband" and I think holy crap, I have a husband. It was a smooth transition---no new home, no new name, thirteen years of knowing each other behind us already---and yet somehow everything changed. Only in the faintest, most imperceptible way, though, like one of those tiny earthquakes that nobody ever feels, the ones that shift the landmass just everso slightly. On the surface everything looks the same. But somewhere, under layers and layers and layers of earth, the world has been altered.

1
Joy
Mar 08, 2010

Nicely said.

Here's hoping that six happy months turn into sixty happy years. I'd like to see that picture in front of the church with a few more wrinkles.

2
Nicki
Mar 08, 2010

Six months already. Wow. Time does fly. I remember reading about that and wondering if I'd ever get a chance to plan another wedding. (The first didn't take...) And now, I'm engaged, so I'm doing it. We're going low-key. Just know that I was beyond inspired by all your preparations.

3
honeypops
Mar 08, 2010

how beautifully written! you two make me look forward to marriage, sigh. and i don't get it- how is it that both of you are looking younger now?

4
Katie
Mar 08, 2010

our six-month-aversary was on saturday. i only remembered/figured it out when reading your post :)

5
Mir
Mar 08, 2010

I think that when you've known your spouse for SO long beforehand, that's how it is. Ain't it grand? :)

6
beth
Mar 08, 2010

What a perfect way to describe it!!

7
Erika
Mar 08, 2010

This is going to sound so weird coming from a stranger but I cannot wait until you two decide to have kids! They are going to be sooooo cute and well-dressed. :)

8
Clare
Mar 08, 2010

oh my gosh I love the anniversary picture! It's perfect.

I have yet to get married (or meet someone I want to marry), so I have no idea what it feels like, but your description is beautiful.

9
Ris
Mar 08, 2010

Lovely. Congratulations!

10
Sarah
Mar 08, 2010

I hope you keep taking this same picture for years and years to come! :)

11
Jummy
Mar 08, 2010

Happy 6 months!

12
Locusts and Wild Honey
Mar 08, 2010

Exactement! I remember you asking me this and I said, It feels both the same and different.

I've been almost shocked how easy it is to be married. I guess that's how you know when it's right.

Congratulations you crazy kids.

13
Heather B.
Mar 08, 2010

Have I mentioned that I like you guys? No? Well I do. Happy 6 Months.

14
dani
Mar 08, 2010

Happy six-month-iversary! What a beautiful way to describe how a marriage changes your life.

15
bohemianbailie
Mar 08, 2010

I am engaged and the wedding is not unitl Jan 2011 but reading this has only added to how anxious am for it!!!

16
Xiobhan
Mar 08, 2010

I always used the term "force field." I felt like there was something invisible around us, protecting us and making us stronger. We're looking at 12 years now and renewed vows at 10.

17
Simon
Mar 08, 2010

Wanna try something that REALLY feels different? Try getting divorced. HA!

Congrats again, guys.

18
beyond
Mar 08, 2010

yes, that's how it feels. well said.

19
kage
Mar 08, 2010

That's sweet. We were just having this conversation with some friends on Friday, because Friday happens to be our....6 month.....pre-anniversary? We're getting married on September 5th! We were wondering how it's going to feel different....very excited for this new feeling!

20
Operation Pink Herring
Mar 08, 2010

Oh, my wedding BFF, this made me tear up. I feel the exact same way.

21

Hey! You guys beat Britney Spears' first marriage by about 90,000%! But don't quote me on that number; my specialty has nothing to do with math.

22
sarah
Mar 08, 2010

you were an absolutely gorgeous bride!! i'm so glad you got married because your wedding helped me plan mine. Congrats on 6 months! I only have two months down, but you are right - it's different. i love marriage.

23
Leigh
Mar 08, 2010

Altered. Hahaha. Your world has been "altered" -- get it? Double meaning there? Now do you get it?

24
Jessa
Mar 08, 2010

It's amazing, isn't it? How one little thing can make such a big change in your life, even though you can't exactly tell WHAT it is.

I remember when I got married. We were at the hotel the night of our honeymoon and the front desk called our room. I answered the phone and the woman said, "Mrs. Gallagher?" I hung up the phone afterward and started dancing around the hotel room singing "she called me missus, she called me missus!"

It's just such an awesome feeling.

25
Katie
Mar 09, 2010

Thank you for posting this! I was hesitant about moving in with my boyfriend because it seems like every couple I know who live together before getting married always say marriage is "not too different than before." And I really want it to be different. We're living together now and I wouldn't want it any other way, but part of me was still sad thinking about how it wouldn't be "different" and "special" if/when we do get married. You just made me feel a MILLION times better!!! :)

26
Kerri Anne
Mar 09, 2010

I love this. Marriage as tectonic plates. It might be the best analogy ever.

27
Sarah
Mar 10, 2010

Love this. So sweet, simple and true. Congratulations! Here's to many more months, years and decades together. ::lifts a cheeseburger into the air::

28
Alecia
Mar 10, 2010

Very good way to describe it. It is a subtle change, but it is there.

Cheers and congratulations!

29
Staci
Mar 13, 2010

indeed, the plates do shift more when/if the babies come. you love each other more because of those babies, but things definitely get harder.

it sucks when they do.

because it can be tempting to start thinking "if we still loved each other, then we would still act like we did..." but thats the bull crap that ends marriages.

really, we all have to suck it up when things get hard and face the fact that love doesn't equal things not being hard, or loving each other perfectly all the time.

marriage takes work after awhile.

even when you are perfect for each other. even when you've dated a long time.

because marriage *is* different.
it's awesome. (from a wise sage married almost 7 years. :)

30
erotik shop
Mar 31, 2010

Lovely. Congratulations

31
Angie
Apr 11, 2010

I love the before and after shot! I found a snippet of your post on A Jersey Hootenanny wedding and had to let you know the last bit about "tiny earthquakes" is one of the most beautiful analogies I have ever heard. Thank you! :)

32
Gorgonz
Jul 01, 2010

I'll be subscribing to your feed.

serving plates | vanities

33
John
Apr 06, 2011

The title to this piece is very good and very funny and also a little sad too. Great stuff keep it coming. home loan refinance

34
Danielle
Dec 19, 2011

I just googled "feels different to be married" and came up with this website. I googled it because i feel like you. Different, could not put my finger on it, content maybe? A new family? More grown up/responsible? More together? Not sure, but you do describe it well and the next time somebody asks me if it feels different, I will know what to say ;-)

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