Taking Tiny Baby Steps Towards Some Semblance Of Wedding Planning

I have my first appointment to try on wedding dresses later today and, get this, I'm nervous about it. Yes, nervous! Nervous to try on dresses! And this from a girl who has never met a dress or a dressing room she didn't like, a girl who considers shopping to be in her top five hobbies. (Oh, who are we kidding, top three hobbies. It's not like I actually have any real hobbies, anyway, like fencing or knitting or tae kwon do.) 

I think the real problem is that the word "appointment" is involved. Appointments are for dentists and doctors and job interviews; an appointment to try on dresses seems like an oxymoron, like an equation of Fun + Not Fun, and anytime you add Not Fun to Fun, you end up diluting all the Fun, don't you think? It's like parties on boats: there's an element of forced merriment to them. I like parties just fine by themselves, and I can deal with boats okay, but when a party is added to a boat.....well, something goes missing, I think, some element of Fun.

This particular shop allows you take pictures in the store while you're trying the dresses on---which is kind of rare for wedding dress shops, as I understand it---so I'm still debating whether to do that or not. On the one hand, it would be nice to have a record of what I've tried on, especially to show my mum and sister and various other people who might be interested in giving their opinion (uh, Internet?), but on the other hand, I'm not sure how I feel about Sean seeing me in the dress---even if it's not the dress, even if it's just a dress---before the big day.

I'm not being particularly traditional about anything else---if anyone else asks me what I'm doing about my name, for example, I mean, trust me, YOU DON'T WANT TO GO THERE, CAN OF WORMS, PANDORA'S BOX, ETCETERA ETCETERA---but I am quite keen on making my wedding apparel something of a surprise.

Ehhhh, or not. I don't know. It's just a white dress in the end and he's seen me in white dresses before.

(Uh, not wedding dresses, obviously. That would be sort of weird. You know, if I just, like, dressed up in them and wore them around the house, maybe did a little light hoovering in a satin Vera Wang.)

Anyway, wish me luck at my appointment. Who knows, perhaps I'll be so good at trying on dresses that they'll give me a lollipop afterwards.

Dec 06, 2008

Enjoy it! You will be pampered and fawned over, and what girl couldn't use that once in a while. Take pictures, but just don't show them to Sean, because your mom and your sisters have to be able to see your choices.

Camels & Chocolate
Dec 06, 2008

Ahhh, good luck! And take pics (but then don't post them on the Internets!).

Dec 06, 2008

oh good luck! waterproof mascara! kleenex!

it will be so exciting! i watched say yes to the dress last night and totally thought of you.

Dec 06, 2008

Nothing can be as bad as when I tried on dresses at David's Bridal. NOTHING. Big mistake. HUGE. But somehow I doubt you'll end up at the Wal-Mart of dress stores.

You'll be fine. :) Have fun!

Dec 06, 2008

Good luck! I think you will have a particularly hard time though since you look absolutely gorgeous in every single photo of you I see. How are you going to pick just one dress? :)

Dec 06, 2008

Oooh, of course take pics! You could have wedding-themed Bad Decision Tuesday by trying on some awesomely-awful dresses.

Have fun! Enjoy every moment of the experience. And remember, the first dress that makes you cry is usually "the one"!


Dec 06, 2008

I tried on wedding dresses for the first time last weekend and was also nervous. But really, it was fun and now I want to do it every weekend. So enjoy yourself!

Dec 06, 2008

I had a pretty non-traditional wedding (and at least people are not just assuming you are going to change your last name), but I did keep the dress from my husband until the day of the wedding. It made for a sweet moment when he first saw me.

Good luck trying on dresses!

Dec 06, 2008

Take pictures! A dress you love in the shop because of the emotions of the moment may end up being not the one after all when you get home - and deposits are not refundable. If you want to share your options online, put them under a cut and forbid Sean from looking under threat of death.

PS - As I'm sure you know, gowns are hideously expensive. You can often find the same gowns on eBay. That's where I got mine, at a third of the price, and it was NOT off-label.

amber of theambershow
Dec 06, 2008

I was nervous, too. Weird, huh? It's fantastic fun, though.

Also, if you decide not to change your name, be prepared to be cornered at the reception and grilled by your mother-in-law's friends. You will, then, miss the little hot dog hors d'oeuvres, and this will make you angry and bitter in the subsequent years following your wedding. Er... maybe that's just me.

Take photos, keep them private. Don't ruin the surprise, it's delicious when he first sees in that dress. I'm so nontraditional, but it's NOT just a dress.

Anne & May
Dec 06, 2008

You're going to have so much fun! And how amazing that they let you take photos. There's a RUMBLE on Say Yes to the Dress when brides try to do that.

Dec 06, 2008

Take pictures! Don't put them anywhere Sean might see them, but it might be useful to compare them later... even if you are the only one who ever looks at them. Trust me on this one!

Good luck, it really is a lot of fun. Wear undies that you don't mind if the salespeople see though!

Dec 06, 2008

Oooh, how exciting! Have a fabulous time, I know you're going to look great no matter what you put on... in fact, I challenge you to put on a truly horrible dress and use it as one of your bad decision Tuesday posts, even though it won't really qualify as a bad decision. I just can't imagine you looking bad in anything, even a horrible dress.

Mostly though, and in all seriousness... enjoy it all!
House of Jules

Dec 06, 2008

definitely take pictures! partly to share with the ladies in your life, but also because sometimes in a mirror you think a dress looks great, but in photos.....not so much. ya know? not that you would ever NOT look great in a dress in pictures, but there's just something about seeing how it looks in photos that is helpful. especially because that's what you will have to record the day. ok, enough rambling, have fun!

Dec 06, 2008

The only thing I'd like to suggest is that you take care when choosing your undergarments on the day you try on dresses. And I don't mean because of how the dress might fit. I'm talking about if you would be embarrassed or not to be caught wearing a thong or old beat up bra or something. When I went to try on dresses, the first shop was normal and put my dresses into the room and then left me to myself to get into them and then they came to help with the zipping up and all that. The other place I went to, though, well.. huh. It was awkward. The salesgirl followed me into the room and shut the door and proceeded to take the dresses off the hangers and help me into them, all while I blushed and tried to hide my face, knowing she could fully see my scantily clad backside. It was horrible. So, be ye warned. Unless, of course, that sort of thing doesn't bother you.

Dec 06, 2008

Oh, and by the way, the dress I ended up buying is the very first dress I tried on. There were actually one or two other dresses I liked better, but they were more than double the price of the first one. So, in the name of having an affordable wedding, I went with the first dress, and I love it, to this day.

Dec 06, 2008

It is probably too late for this, but I would say take the pictures, and decide later what you want to do with them. It's good to get that perspective of the dress, to see what you look like in pictures and from other angles, and you may end up deciding you want to share them and then wishing you'd taken some. Just because you've taken them doesn't mean that you have to post them or that Sean has to see them.

Operation Pink Herring
Dec 06, 2008

Definitely take pictures of every single dress! Trust me, later when you're lying awake at night trying to weigh the merits of Dress #67 against those of Dress #472, everything starts to blur together and you'll be so glad you have photographic evidence to refresh your memory. Just don't let Sean look at the pictures!

Thespian Libby
Dec 06, 2008

From someone who was an ancient bride, do take photos, and do be certain NOT to foray into these shops alone. The staffers in these shops can be....slightly pushy??? Also - I hyphenated, and it ended up being beastly. There are NEVER enough little blocks on forms for all of the letters. Gah. And I ended up getting the first dress I tried on. (But had a blast trying on dresses I'd never in a million years actually wear in public)

Dec 06, 2008

I'm with everyone else - take photos of every single damn dress you try on. If nothing else, if you can't find the perfect gown you can go "Okay, I like the beading on this and the top satin on this and the skirt on this but the back on this and..." and figure out exactly what you want. I went incredibly non traditional and did a light gold dress (because seriously? White? Who was I trying to kid?) AND had my husband to be help me pick it out AND had him be the one to dress me on my wedding day.
Also, you seriously could not pay me to do the whole thing again. I love my husband dearly but if, God forbid, something happened and I found myself intending to marry another, we're heading for a justice of the peace somewhere. Wedding planning bites.
I also changed my name so I now (according to the government) have two legal middle names (my given one and my maiden name) and took my husband's last name. Mainly because while I didn't want to give up my last name as part of my name, he also has a totally better and joke free (although frequently people add letters to it - there is NO R IN MY LAST NAME!) last name.

Wow. That's a long comment.

Good luck with the dresses!

Dec 06, 2008

My husband went wedding dress shopping with me, which I was glad about because he could veto the ones I hated that my mom loved without me having to tell her "no, this one you think is is awesome is not awesome." But then, I'm clearly totally passive-aggressive.

Sensibly Sassy
Dec 06, 2008

Post the pics....dooooo it!

Dec 06, 2008

Definitely take pics. I always think that I look one way (in my head) but sometimes it turns out that I look completely different once I see the pics. It can help provide a different perspective!

Dec 06, 2008

if you find anything fittinf of a Tombstone wedding, let me know!

Anne in SC
Dec 07, 2008

Don't let him see you in the dress. You love looking at the groom's reactions as the bride walks down the aisle. Part of that reaction comes from the awe of seeing bride in the dress. I don't even think I showed my husband a picture of the dress when I wasn't in it.

I hope you had a great time, and I hope you found a dress on day 1.

Dec 07, 2008

Take pics and then put them someplace other than flickr...like drop.io or something. That way you can link people who want to see them individually and keep the future husband in the dark until the big day as is your want :)

Dec 07, 2008

Take pix and show them your mom when Sean is out of the room. Definitely keep the dress secret so he sees it first time on "the day"!

To Jen (#4): I got a gorgeous wedding gown at David's Bridal for a fantastic price. The store employees were very nice folks, as well. I'm sorry you had a bad experience at one of their locations, but I wouldn't paint the whole company with one brush.

Holly, that's something to remember as well - take all wedding advice with a grain of salt. Your wedding planning experience will be unique, so don't base your plans on someone else's experience. You might find a great dress in a less-than-swanky store. You might not like the customer service in a famous name boutique. You just never know - don't limit yourself.

Good luck!


Dec 07, 2008

Hunh - following the statement, "the one that makes you cry is the one," I should have bought every bathing suit I ever tried on.

But seriously - take pictures. And when they suggest a dress that your eye tells you is all wrong, and too much, and not what you want at all - try it anyway.

Dec 08, 2008

Make sure they show you the sample dresses on sale. I got a $3,500 Lazaro dress on sale for $450.

Also...I took pictures and I'm so glad I did. I'm having to sell the dress now because we're scaling down the wedding and it will sell better with pictures of the dress ON me.

Dec 08, 2008

This store was great when I went dress shopping with one of my good friends. Sample gowns!!